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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

things not to do in labour

24 replies

glub · 01/04/2013 23:07

just remembered what happened with my 2nd. i wonder if we could help some full term mums to be with a few tips?

my input is this: if upright but on your knees leaning over the back of the bed (you know, using gravity, actively birthing), don't keep leaning over, doubling up, however tired you are and however much pain you're feeling. mine came out all tiny squashy-headed and sorry looking, and needed oxygen right away. he had red eyelids for about a year. thank you stupid midwife for not telling me about this. i think he has managed not to be brain damaged, and appears to have normalised, but, i sooo wish that midwife had told me oi you no don't do that. but she was rubbish. really she was. she rushed me through the whole thing.

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MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 01/04/2013 23:15

There could have been any number of reasons that your baby came out squashed and sorry looking and needed oxygen.

I don't think its really going to help anyone telling them not to stand a certain way or do a certain thing, every labour is different and every woman is different and the midwives are there to judge the situation better than any of us ever could.

I know you mean this thread in the nicest possible way but it could really cause undue panic or upset someone when they go into labour because they will feel like they are doing it wrong.

CheeseAndMushroomToastie · 01/04/2013 23:23

What pp said. I'm to be induced in two weeks for medical reasons, 2nd dc, so clicked on this thread hoping to learn something useful.... I gave birth first time around in same position and ds was fine, my midwife was awesome and she disnt mention once that it was a bad position to be in so not sure if you're right to blame it on midwife, I've not heard of a baby getting squished before like that....

Original poster

glub · 01/04/2013 23:42

well it was certainly because of the way i was labouring. there was one point at which she mentioned it and tried to explain but she was nowhere near strict enough with me and i was just too tired and in pain to control it myself.

my intention is most certainly not to scare anyone. really that's the last thing i want to do i simply believe in being informed so as to feel confident. labour is a very individual thing. but if there's one thing i really ought to have done differently it would have been to just stop bloody doubling up.

it was my second birth which gave me something to compare to. i really was rushed. she wasn't very good and could have been more attentive. probably overworked and underpaid but that's even more reason to try to manage own birth a bit more.

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Original poster

glub · 01/04/2013 23:45

and ok i realise i have contradicted myself there. she mentioned it, ok, but she just didn't care enough to try and stop me.

OP posts:

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 02/04/2013 00:44

I have given birth 6 times, each and every one has been different I would never presume to tell someone what position to give birth in or what not to do.

General advice like wear warm socks because you will get cold or remember to take spare batteries for your camera or ideas for things to put in your hospital bag or massage techniques your birthing partner can try are useful. To advise someone to labour in a certain position, especially when you say yourself you physically couldn't control what you were doing, really isn't helpful to anyone.

Sorry you had a bad experience when giving birth and I know you are coming from a good place but I don't think its fair to advise based on your one bad experience when you can't know for sure that it was because of you doubling over in labour.

Bluemonkeyspots · 02/04/2013 08:20

The position you are describing is the one I was hoping to give birth in this time!

Last labour I was on my back and dd got stuck and had to be taken away and resuscitated once she actually came out.

leaharrison11 · 02/04/2013 08:32

Decided u want to leave , i did at 8cm i went into full on panic station and told midwife and DP that id had enough and i didnt feel like doing it it anymore and i wanted to go home promising id come back the next day, we laugh about it now but at the time i was serious my only advice is try ur very best not to painic i think anything else in labour goes

Jojobump1986 · 02/04/2013 10:33

Don't not drink for 8 hours. You will probably end up dehydrated & it won't help matters & you might need IV fluids after! DH will be offering me drinks at least every 20-30 mins this time!

Jojobump1986 · 02/04/2013 10:34

Oh, & don't make silly jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood. Everyone will think you're serious & going a bit mad.

DontmindifIdo · 02/04/2013 10:39

Can I add - if, on arrival, they need to put you on a drip or stick an epidural line in ASAP, think about what you are wearing for a second, it might be better to get that Maternity T-shirt off and your front opening maternity nighty on (or whatever you want to give birth wearing) before they hook you up.

Oh how we laughed as DH tried to negotiate the tshirt over the drip stand (oh and if you arriving having thrown up on every contraction, an in the carpark, and in the reception of the hospital, they'll stick you on a drip of lovely stuff that takes away the vommy feeling and stops you dehydrating). Also, if you find yourself in this situation, just cut the damn thing off.

CrackleMauve · 02/04/2013 13:49

Show your birth partner how the tens machine works if you are using one. This means when they are told by the midwife to get it off in a hurry once baby has arrived, they will now how to. And they will not instead turn it up to maximum and make you nearly shoot off the bed while trying not to drop your tiny newborn.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 02/04/2013 13:56

I gave birth to three of my five kneeling up like that on the bed and it wasnt a problem, it was instinctive and def helped me birth my big babies.

No four was in the pool and my hardest birth was no 1 where i was flat on my back, i would say if you can avoud being on your back then do. But ultimately do what you are confortable with.

Oh and being continuously monitered doesnt mean you cant move around and stay active, its harder with the wires and trickier for the midwife but it can be done, so if you want to then insist.

Remember they need your INFORMED consent to do anything sp get them to explain why and what your options are if you dont do what they are suggesting or what the alternatives are etc.

Thurlow · 02/04/2013 14:02

Don't tell your midwife you really want a cigarette, as the gas & air is making you feel pissed

WingDefence · 02/04/2013 16:27

Thurlow - I had DD last Friday and I told the MW that the gas & air reminded me of my misspent youth

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 02/04/2013 16:37

thurlow when I had ds3 I raved to the midwife that the gas and air was fab and just like smoking a spliff!!! Dp hissed at me to shut up!

Thurlow · 02/04/2013 16:38

Heh heh... glad someone else felt like that! 9 months without a drink or a cigarette, I honestly think I would have dragged my newly epidural-ed self out of the front door if she'd told me I could have had one!

(Congrats on little one!)

EverythingIsTicketyBoo · 02/04/2013 16:46

I was in a lovely knelt up position last time and the mw insisted I went on my back :( birth plan this time will ask if I can be left in whatever position I am comfortable in.

Other things not to do in labour, don't be a martyr, don't let DH eat tuna or onion and don't panic when you lose your mind a bit, it is probably just the transition phase from stage 1 to 2. (I remember shouting in my best posh middle class voice that there must be another solution as what I was doing was not working, I am neither posh or middle class

TaggieCampbellBlack · 02/04/2013 16:53

Sorry but your OP is rubbish. Kneeling wouldn't squash your baby's head. Birth squashes baby's heads. They are made squashable for that very purpose.

Jollyb · 02/04/2013 21:07

Don't forget to buy batteries for the tens machine. Had to dispatch DP to the local 99p store to get some (they weren't the standard ones available in the hospital shop).

MrsPatrickDempsey · 02/04/2013 23:12

Agree with the others - op has no fact at all.

(Speaks from knowledge and experience as I was the mw at a delivery just like this in Saturday and the babe was fine)

ENormaSnob · 03/04/2013 15:46

You are talking shit op.

AmandaCooper · 04/04/2013 07:01

Not a during labour one from me but just before: when implementing the advice to go on long walks to kick start labour, remember your labour could go from 0-60 in no time at all. Luckily I was bouncing on my ball at home when my waters broke and my contractions started 3 minutes apart - and not at the most distant point of any of the stupidly long walks I'd been on on my own.

purrpurr · 04/04/2013 07:28

Really disappointed that this thread was started. I'm 35+4 and I clicked on it expecting a funny thread. After all, it's not very empowering for one woman to say to another, 'you're not allowed to do this in labour' 'you mustn't do that'. Shocked to see that not only does the OP blame herself for her baby being a bit squashed-looking, but feels she has the right to tell all other would-be mums to avoid a particular position and way of labouring as it will damage the baby. I'm appalled. OP, you need counselling. Why do you blame yourself?

KayleeKay · 04/04/2013 11:38

I don't think she needs counselling at all!

IMO op started this thread in light humour however maybe could of worded her post differently. I didn't get the feeling she trying to tell anyone what to do in labour or what position to labour in why would she? She was giving her opinion and experience and if you don't like it then quiet frankly don't read it.

Do you take everything you read on fourums as gospel?

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