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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

sex after birth.

19 replies

honeytea · 28/12/2012 19:59

I was wondering how soon after birth you can have sex again? Ds was born 10 days ago and I had a 2nd degree tear.

I can't feel my stitches anymore and I have no pain although I'm still bleeding a little.

I'm not sure who I should ask no one mentioned sex at the hospital.

I'm not even sure why I want to have sex so much, I think maybe it's a need to feel close to my dp.

OP posts:
annie11 · 28/12/2012 20:46

I had a second degree tear after my first, it took us 3 weeks. Just had to go easy for a while. I think 6 weeks is the official "green light" for it but my personal opinion is that when you feel ready physically and mentally it's ok. Good luck!

VisualiseAHorse · 28/12/2012 21:12

I only had two 'grazes', no stitches, we had sex 2 weeks after labour. It was a bit painful, but made sure we took it slow. I was still bleeding lochia, but very very lightly.

I think you are supposed to wait 6 weeks, something to do with infection?

IHeartKingThistle · 28/12/2012 21:21

2nd degree tear, 6 weeks, wish I'd waited a bit longer tbh!

Newtothisstuff · 28/12/2012 21:29

I had a c section so not quite the same but I waited 2 weeks, we took it slow but it was fine Wink

ThreeWheelsGood · 28/12/2012 21:57

I'veheard a few times it's best to wait til your 6 week check (with GP) if you want reassurance, but as long as you feel ready, go for it!

Rhianna1980 · 29/12/2012 00:58

I won't go near a stiched up wound anywhere in the body nevermind putting a 2nd degree torn vagina under some unnecessary action when It's supposed to rest and heal.

Why don't you try other ways to pleasure each other?
Have pitty on your vagina, because I do !

CrispyHedgeHogmanay · 29/12/2012 01:50

Wasn't there a poster a few years back who claimed to have had sex while cradling her newborn in the delivery room?

NatashaBee · 29/12/2012 01:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EMS23 · 29/12/2012 01:59

Crispy that has made me feel a little bit sick!!

aufaniae · 29/12/2012 02:02

I thought you were meant to wait 6 weeks too. Can't remember where I heard it though (probably mumsnet!)

Original poster
honeytea · 29/12/2012 02:24

My dp thinks it's best to wait, not sure why I'm so keen, I blame my hormones, they are responsible for lots at the moment!

OP posts:
GrandPoohBah · 29/12/2012 05:34

I was told as soon as I felt ready.

We waited just over a month, I had a second degree tear and stitches too. It was fine, the scar was a little tender and you need to make sure you lubricate lots but other than that it was normal.

CrispyHedgeHogmanay · 29/12/2012 13:10

EMS I can't remember the poster's name but I do remember the outrage over why her dh coudln't wait at least til they got home.

She said she got so caught up in the emotions of the moment they just went for it Confused

StrawberrytallCAKE · 29/12/2012 13:14

Hmm I'm 3 weeks past delivery with 2nd degree and there is not a chance in hell anything other than salt baths and clean pads are coming into contact with my Thanks until at least 6 weeks. Not sure how dh feels about this as I have just received some new AP underwear!?!?!?

Jenny123G · 29/12/2012 14:17

OMG. Ladies hats off to you all! After ds1 and a 3rd degree tear it took me 6 months to even consider! Lol after ds2 and a second degree tear it was 4 Months. I must have a very understanding patient husband :-D

squidkid · 29/12/2012 19:05

I had a small graze but no tears, I waited 4 weeks and it was painful. This was nothing to do with boyfriend, I totally jumped him!! I was desperate from 2 weeks, no idea why... have always been a bit highly sexed. But I think it was the closeness and the feel of him fancying me I missed really.

It's 12 weeks now and still a bit tender. We do other stuff more often. And when we do go all the way we use lubrication... v sexy...
Really hoping this will improve... Sad

squidkid · 29/12/2012 19:06

Crispy your story is just horrible!

TheAccidentalExhibitionist · 29/12/2012 19:23

3rd degree tear and 6 months for me too. I'm highly sexed but my poor old fanjo wasn't ready before then.

strumpetpumpkin · 30/12/2012 09:02

i had sex within a week. As soon as my milk came in i was desperate to, the last two times.
I had no tears, but it obviously wasn't the same and was more a symbolic thing really. Was very very gentle

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