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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Best way to get labour unit midwife to believe I'm in labour

37 replies

PogoBob · 24/12/2012 23:51

Sorry if this is long - I'm probably worrying unnecessarily here and realise that every labour is different but grateful for any advice.

With DD my waters went at midnight, phoned the labour ward who said I could go in when my contractions were regular, no more than 5 minutes apart, lasting a minute and I couldn't talk through them.

That never happened, I could pretty much talk through all of them and they were anything from 2 - 7 minutes apart, lasting 20 - 40 seconds. However by 4am I had the most horrendous feeling of pressure in my bum (thought my pelvis was being split open!)

DH was getting worried at this point and rang the midwife who really didn't want to let me go in and he had to really argue the toss with them. We got there about 4:20 when I was asked a few questions, directed to a room and told they'd check me in a minute. They came back at 5am to discover I was 10cm and DD was born at 6am.

I have no complaints with the care, they were really busy and when they realised I was ready to push I had excellent attention.

I'm due again on Friday and I'm worried the same may happen again but even quicker! Is there anything that I can say to the midwife to get them to believe I need to go in that doesn't involve the frequency of the contractions or an inability to talk??

We're living with my inlaws at the moment so birthing a home really isn't on my wish list!

TIA

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VivaLeBeaver · 25/12/2012 00:01

Tell them you had a precipitate labour last time with only in coordinate contractions.

Tell them you know your body and believe you need to come in.

Should work.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 25/12/2012 00:02

I just turned up with all three of mine. Every time they acted like id come to soon and every time I went from 3cm to baby in less than an hour. You know your body, trust your own judgement and go in when you feel you need to.

Good luck!

fryingpanalley · 25/12/2012 00:02

Just go in anyway - just show up! You don't need permission, if you know your body and how you feel and what happened last time.
I had my second birth 15 mins after arriving in hospital, with no pain relief, thanks to a MW refusing to believe I was in labour because I could still talk coherently on the phone. I was even quite calm on arrival at hospital, though I was taking off all my clothes which is apparently a sure fire sign. I wish I had ignored her on the phone as I knew I was in labour and that it happened fast with my first birth- I should have been more assertive and turned up and asked for a VE.

supergreenuk · 25/12/2012 00:03

Just tell them your coming in. I phoned on both occasions and they were happy to let me make my mind up and I was happy to be sent home if that was the case. Both mine were very quick and if I hadn't have gone in when I felt it was right then who knows where I would have been. Trust your instincts.

VivaLeBeaver · 25/12/2012 00:06

Honestly as a midwife I beg you not to just turn up. We often wouldn't have a room on the labour ward if you did that.

With a little warning we can normally sort something.

sleeplessinsuburbia · 25/12/2012 00:09

I'd just say you're coming in, contractions every two minutes. If you get there and you're not there's no harm done and you have peace of mind. I'm another who wasn't believed until I had the baby while the midwife was on a break!

AnAirOfHopeInAManger · 25/12/2012 00:11

Say 'I want to be checked by a midwife please."

Repeat untill they say come in but if you are not dialated you will have to go home.

My waters broke and i had to wadle in gushing water and get checked then waddle home again as i was only 2cm :(
I was in labour for 10 hours or more.

With my second i was 3 hours from start to finish. Contracts then they broke my waters then they didnt believe i had to push and the midwife ended up holding baby in souting dont push im not ready i havent got my gloves on lol

Good luck and congrats

Original poster

PogoBob · 25/12/2012 00:12

I don't think I could just turn up, would totally stress me out - I have a real thing about making a fuss about anything medical - a childhood of my mother telling me it was just a sniffle!

Viva what should I say this time is the contractions are irregular and not that painful, will the fact it's my second time give me a little more credit?

OP posts:

Original poster

PogoBob · 25/12/2012 00:14

Sorry should have said thanks for all the comments and will trust my instincts and get DH to argue the toss on my behalf if needed - he's better at kicking up a fuss!

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 25/12/2012 00:14

Tell them what I put in my first post. That you had a precipitate labour last time with in coordinate contractions. Basically means your last labour was very quick with irregular contractions.

When they ask if they're painful tell them that they're as painful as they were in your previous labour.

Original poster

PogoBob · 25/12/2012 00:17

So sorry, missed your first post (think my pregnancy brain shut it out due to long words ).

That is really helpful

OP posts:

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 25/12/2012 00:18

When you ring, tell them your labour with DD was only an hour long tiniest of white lies and that you want to be in asap just incase.

VivaLeBeaver · 25/12/2012 00:20

Good luck.

Murtette · 25/12/2012 20:51

With DC2, the first time I rang, I was told I couldn't possibly be in labour as I'd been able to continuously talk during my conversation with the MW. I called back 15 mins later & luckily a different MW answered so I put in a few (fake) gasps, groans & dramatic pauses & was told I'd better come in to be examined. Went in, doubled over due to a (fake) contraction as soon as I spotted the MW, did the same on the way to the delivery room & was told "ooh, handy you came in when you did" & was then examined and was 5cm with DS arriving 24 mins later so it turned out that, yes, it was handy I went in when I did! I have to say that those 24 mins were agony as it seemed to be one continuous contraction, something which may have been retribution for my fake contractions when talking to MWs!

goodygumdrops · 26/12/2012 09:05

I would phone, explain what happened last time, and agree that if you are found not to be in labour you will go home.

ginmakesitallok · 26/12/2012 09:11

Murtlette - I was the same with DD2. Was kept in the assessment room, with midwife constantly asking me to describe the pain, telling me that my waters hadn't broken (when I was sure they had, but couldn't convince her ) and not offered any pain relief. MW due to go off shift so said she would check me just for my notes - I was 9cm. Had DD2 about 40 mins later. Afterwards they were "tidying up" my notes and a different midwife popped her head round the door and asked "So, when DID your waters break??" FFS!

dinkystinky · 26/12/2012 09:16

That's really odd OP - with DS2 when my waters broke the midwives wanted me to go in so they could check no issues (they said they'd send me back home) - I had a contraction while on the phone to them and asked them to wait a minute or two and they then said its fine, we'll see you later tonight. No idea how they knew that from being put on hold for a bit but it was the senior midwife and she certainly knew her stuff - DS2 was in my arms a few hours later!

Just explain your last labour was quick and it is probable this one will be quick and the contractions dont really distract you that much.

Good luck and hope all goes smoothly.

MistletoeAndMerryChristmas · 26/12/2012 09:21

Just go in. 30 mins before DS was born I was walking about.laughing with midwife. She was about to leave. I told her not to. I knew he was coming but I didn't have strong or regular contractions till my waters went 20 mins before!

AndiMac · 26/12/2012 09:26

I do hate the fact that they judge whether you are ready to come in based on how panicky you sound on the phone. I could talk throughout both my labours and if I had waited until the point I couldn't, the baby would have been crowning.

With my second one I was getting indications he would be coming fairly shortly. I phoned the birthing centre and they tried to put me off from coming in, but I just said I'd like to be checked and didn't mind being sent home again if I wasn't close. They agreed. By the time I got there, I was still able to talk and was calm even through the contractions, so the midwife took her sweet time about getting to me and checking (about 20 minutes). I was 7cm dilated and what a surprise, they let me stay.

RooneyMara · 26/12/2012 09:28

Viva is great, do what she says

Second births are often quicker, mine was 3.5 down from 8-9 hours with first.

The mw didn't want to come out and said ring in an hour, (I'd rung after 4 contractions within 20 minutes), so rang again another 20 minutes later when they were 3 mins apart and they reluctantly sent someone - who found I was 4cm and stayed!!

This thing about contractions not being too predictable is worrying me now - expecting 3rd any minute and every twinge is making me go 'Oh no! is this is? how quick is it going to be?!'

Good luck x

KristinaM · 26/12/2012 09:41

My friend had her baby standing outside the night entrance of the hospital while her DH was shouting through an intercom trying to get them to let them in

cutegorilla · 26/12/2012 18:29

Slightly different but my DC2 was a precipitous labour. I was advised by my MW and my consultant to go into hospital at the very first sign of anything happening with DC3. In the event the first sign was waking at 3am with a small trickle of waters. I phoned and explained and they said to come in but no rush. Well, we rushed, and got there at just about the right time given they kept us waiting for 30 mins before I even got assessed! By the time I got to the delivery room I was desperate for pain relief. Good job it was a slower labour (4 hours from that trickle) not a faster one or I'd have been giving birth in the waiting area.

Uppermid · 26/12/2012 18:36

I had this with dd2. Dh called the hospital and rightly the midwife wanted to talk to me. When we spoke she asked. What was wrong, I explained that I was in labour, she was a bit grumpy and said that it didn't sound like I was in labour. I told her it was because I wasn't having a contraction, give it 30 seconds!! And sure enough.

When she heard it was number 2 she reluctantly agreed that I could go in. 2 hours later, dd2 arrived.

Original poster

PogoBob · 26/12/2012 19:02

Thanks everyone for taking the time to post, thankfully we're less then 10 minutes from the hospital so doesn't bother me if they send me home. I will remember to gasp on the phone - but after a pretty much pain free labour last time this one is bound to be agony!!

Having spent the last 2 days thinking things are kicking off it's all gone quiet this evening so don't think I'll be having a 2012 baby!

OP posts:

chatnickname2013 · 26/12/2012 20:50

I HATE this bit and it's stressing me out too OP, they can't "assess" you by phone like they think they can. They really stressed me out with no1 which IMO contributed to poor pain control and cascade of interventions.. kept telling me I COULD talk when I was shaking my head and pushing the phone away because I COULDN'T, but according to them all first labours take a long time and I should just go to sleep - as if!

this time I'll just go in, and if I have to go away I will

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