Second time but scared and worked up

[ASAPWW]

Hello
I am 31 weeks with my second pregnancy and finding as B-day approaches I am getting scared and worked up about the birth. My 1st time was horrible - I hyper stimulated after being induced and after 5 hours of relentless contractions - every 40 secs to a minute(!) - I relented and asked for an epidural. DD got stuck and I ended up with an episiotomy, forceps delivery, post-partum haemorrhage and blood tranfusion. I felt awful for about a month and my poor perineum was very weakened, though it's much better now. :)
This time round, I am hoping to go into spontaneous labour.
Has anybody had an epidural first time but actively avoided it the second time round and had a better experience? Basically I am not scared of the pain of childbirth but scared of the aftermath and what might become of my pelvic floor if I end up with another forceps delivery.

"induced, DC got stuck and I ended up with an episiotomy, forceps delivery, post-partum haemorrhage "

• word by word same as my first, missed the transfusion by a hair!

I had epidural towards the end, but felt nothing for the pushing stage, so it was all confusing. the whole birth was the most traumatic of all 6!

2nd was induced at 41w+5, I had and epidural, but it was the type when they can control the strength of it based on how your labour is progressing - so by the time you have to push you some feeling/pain returns (quite a lot in my case) but that's helpful coz you do feel where to/how to push!

3rd - when I called the hospital that we were coming, heavy contractions, I was rambling on about the epidural, midwife just calmly said - and your name please?
DS3 out within 30 mins of getting to hospital, I had time for 2 sips of gas& air and he shot out with 3rd push!

4th was ELSC due to being footling breech

had epidurals also with 5th and 6th - it was great to be in control of the pain relief, they topped me up when I needed, but again they waited for drugs to diminish for the pushing bit.

if I had another one I'd want an epidural again, with last one I actually wrote on every page of birth notes that I wanted and Epidural, with red pen!
Midwife read my note and asked "so you think you might want an epidural then?" cheeky

there's no reason why you should need another forceps delivery - actually my last one was 8lb 3oz, but thanks to her sweet little head I didn't even need any stitches!

also if you don't want an epidural don't have one, there are other types of pain relief - ask midwife

I wanted an epidural every time, but I'm a wuss...

My first labour ended with epidural and forceps, with a tear through the episiotomy cut. My second, 8 weeks ago, was just a bit of g&a - it was also very quick! The mw wanted to do an episiotomy as she could see I was going to have a perineal tear but DS2 was born before she could so I had another 2nd/nearly 3rd degree tear. Wasn't painful and I was stitched up in delivery. Apart from some bowel dodginess since I recovered really quickly and felt a1 very soon after - handy with a toddler! Good luck with it all.

My first was horrendous, 30 hours of painful contractions only getting me to 2 com, ended in an epidural, episiotomy and a resuss team for DD.

My second woke me up with contractions at 10.52 pm, got to the hospital at 1. 15 am and 8 cm dilated, DS born at 3.02 am with no pain relief and a second degree tear along my episiotomy scar line.

Good luck, I hope it all goes well for you.

Its definitely possible to have a much better experience 2nd time around . I was induced with my first, strapped to monitors, laboured on my back in bed, ended up with epidural, pushed for 2 hours and ended up with a nasty tear and a pph. Felt dreadful after, couldnt sit down or walk properly for a fortnight and ended up with PND.

Number 2 arrived yesterday. Waters broke at 12.30, contractions by 4.30. Stayed on my feet using TENS till 08.30 when I started on gas and air. Delivered DD on all fours at 10.01 with no tearing and minimal blood loss. Felt fab after and was home in 6 hours

Good luck!

MadameJosephin congrats on brand new baby and well done!

Thanks amazing. Still can't quite believe she's here and that everything went according to plan!

Congrats MadameJosephine that's lovely.

Another happy story for you OP (I like to come onto this topic every now and then to give people hope!).

DS1 - 28 hour established labour (48 hrs start to finish), got told off for being tense ("but it hurts of course I'm tense grrrrr") had the induction drugs thingy because I wasn't progressing, epidural, forceps and ventouse.

DS2 - had to go to hospital early because waters broke with meconium (sp?) so had to be monitored. Lovely mild contractions, did eventually have the hormone thingy as they needed to get him out more quickly as the meconium could have been due to distress and I was still inearly stages. This time they decided I must be in silent labour because I was soooo relaxed. Official established labour.....11 Minutes.
OK that's due to not having been examined for a couple of hours, I think in reality it was an hour. So only an hour of proper contractions. No epidural.
I was on a high afterwards.

Differences - DS2 was smaller and importantly had a better shaped head (DS1 and Dh have sort of triangular head, with the wide bit at the top) plus I read part of the hypnobirthing book, understood what the contractions were doing and actually 'got' the breathing thing this time round.

Good luck!

Thanks for all your stories. It's good to know that, generally speaking, second time is easier. MadameJospehine - I want one like your second labour please! Congrats! I think I am just over thinking it all and I need actually take a step back and calm myself. Thanks ladies. x

I would add that I had an incredibly supportive midwife 2nd time around. We discussed my birth plan in advance and she knew that I wanted to stay mobile and to avoid intervention and she did everything she could to support that - she even physically blocked a consultant from entering my room telling him he wasn't needed thank you lol. Maybe it would help you if you arrange an appointment with your midwife to discuss a plan in advance?