The Purple Line

[Shagmundfreud]

here

Interesting I think.

Anyone about to labour who'd like to road test this method of checking cervical dilation and feed back to the board? Profile pictures of said line, followed by picture of lovely new dc would be great!

hello!

well if nothing else you've just given me and the dh a fun half hour.

i presented him with my bottom and asked for a verdict on 'is there a line?'

he, mystified says yes and when asked colour says 'plum'

have i always had it?

dunno

!!! we've been married for 13 years!

sorry i'm not good at detail

anyway he thinks its either 2 cms or 6cms long depending where near my bottom he starts the measurement.

then to confirm we were looking at the right thing, we switched off research and asked Google.

pause while v heavily pg woman collapses in continent mirth.

me: take a photo

he: erm ok. (fiddles with phone)

he: sorry love with the flash i just get a massive expanse of white.

me: whaddyamean massive?

hello!

well if nothing else you've just given me and the dh a fun half hour.

i presented him with my bottom and asked for a verdict on 'is there a line?'

he, mystified says yes and when asked colour says 'plum'

have i always had it?

dunno

!!! we've been married for 13 years!

sorry i'm not good at detail

anyway he thinks its either 2 cms or 6cms long depending where near my bottom he starts the measurement.

then to confirm we were looking at the right thing, we switched off research and asked Google.

pause while v heavily pg woman collapses in continent mirth.

me: take a photo

he: erm ok. (fiddles with phone)

he: sorry love with the flash i just get a massive expanse of white.

me: whaddyamean massive?

i fear we are not your best research subjects. but he promises to watch out for it and will remember to let me know.

hello!

well if nothing else you've just given me and the dh a fun half hour.

i presented him with my bottom and asked for a verdict on 'is there a line?'

he, mystified says yes and when asked colour says 'plum'

have i always had it?

dunno

!!! we've been married for 13 years!

sorry i'm not good at detail

anyway he thinks its either 2 cms or 6cms long depending where near my bottom he starts the measurement.

then to confirm we were looking at the right thing, we switched off research and asked Google.

pause while v heavily pg woman collapses in continent mirth.

me: take a photo

he: erm ok. (fiddles with phone)

he: sorry love with the flash i just get a massive expanse of white.

me: whaddyamean massive?

oh heck. my bottom message is there twice now!

Hmm. I tend to keep my knickers on until transition and only whip them off when bottom is under the water.

But then my last two labours I have known exactly where I was wrt progress.

Forget about lines, cervixes etc. How about teaching the woman to recognise herself and then simply ask her?

Starlight I like your style

I VE'd myself during DS2's birth on Monday evening My conclusions? "Hugely dilated. I can feel baby's head... Oh! I feel pushy!"

Badgerina! I think we need more info from the most f**ed off woman in south london?..

"Forget about lines, cervixes etc. How about teaching the woman to recognise herself and then simply ask her?"

I never had a fucking clue what was going on in my body through 3 babies. Despite having read EVERYTHING, including chapter and verse of Ina May.

I think it's part of the normal psychology of labour to not have a fucking clue, about anything.

It wouldn't matter what was going on in your head if you didn't have to deal with a protocol driven system of maternity care. But sadly we do, so as far as I'm concerned, any additional 'tools' that might discourage a midwife from putting her hands up your vadge when trying to work out what's going on internally has got to be - categorically - useful.