Less tearing second time round?!

[Superslinger]

Would I be right to expect this? I thought, having had bad second degree tearing first time round and found it to be nowhere near as bad as I'd feared, that I'd be less scared about second time round...

Yet having now become aware of the reality of third degree tears and worse I'm now terrified again! My 2nd degrees seem without long-term consequrnces, but the thought that there's a chance of ending up doubly incontinent or something...?! Arrrgh!

Anyway, I'm trying to reassure myself with the thought that perhaps it's first time round the brunt of tearing happens and subsequent tears are likely to be milder rather than worse?

Am I living in lala land?

I didn't tear, but had an episiotomy first time (forceps) and the stitches burst three days later. I have scarring as a consequence and I was also worried what would happen 2nd time round too. In the end, nothing happened. Didn't need stitches, just had a few scratches. So previous injury doesn't necessarily mean weakness in the tissue. Try not to worry

I had a very bad tear with DC1, loads of stitches but with DC2 no tear, no stitches either

YAY! Thanks both!

Sorry to burst the bubble, but I had second degree tears with all three of mine. Sadly, I don't think there's a golden rule!

Super, I also had a bad 2nd degree tear the first time, and was quite worried as DS birth approached, anticipating the same painful, swollen stitches etc. It was fine, though, just a couple of stitches not painful or sore at all.

Even if you do suffer a second degree tear or worse, the surgeons nowadays are very good and wouldn't let you become doubly incontinent as that what the surgery is for.

I had a third degree tear 5 months ago and although at the time it was awfully painful, the surgeon did a very good job of repairing the tear. He explained to me at the time that if I didn't have the surgery I would be left incontinent.

I had sex 8 weeks afterwards and experienced no pain. Plus I've had no bowel or continence issues

I felt exactly the same way as you OP. Bad 2nd degree with DS (9lb 11oz, though!) but actually, beyond a little throbbing, was very manageable with saltwater and a lot of pelvic floor (good tip in case anyone reading's interested; it increases oxygen to the area and speeds healing).

However, when I was pregnant with DD I would have traumas imagining the whole thing opening up immediately and building on the pathway of the first to become a 3rd degree tear. I really began to fear the pushing stage - I remember (inanely) saying to my MW after she told me I was fully dilated ' I'm having a contraction - I'm going to have to push aren't I?'

BUT! The end of the story is that DD was smaller and came out in a flurry when I wasn't expecting it; I had a tiny tear requiring no stitches. They say babies go towards the mean in terms of weight - so you'll get smaller if you've had a big DC1.

Hello, episiotomy and 2nd degree tear first time round. Doc stitched me up after. Lots of stitches and lots and lots of pain for a long time after. Still felt the scar a yr later. Second time round I ad not cut, just torn, 2 nd degree again. This time had four midwives debating how to sew me back up (never good to hear), lots of stitches again but no problems, didn't hurt as much after and helped v quickly. Am going on the theory that tearing is better than cutting so will write no to episiotomy on my birth plan of this one........fingers crossed!