We don't normally do this but don't worry we know what we are doing!

[Jac1978]

Said to me by the staff in the triage room where I ended up giving birth when waiting for space on the labour ward. Anyone else had something hilarious said to them while in labour?!!

i was 10cm dialated all the staff which included two obstetricians and a midwife huddled around the efm machine and confirmed i wasnt in labour!....my mum suggested they check my dialation before they tried to induce me! my dd was born 30 mins later!

Upon being told that I was 10cm and could start pushing another contraction came so when breathing through it I was told - it was ok, I could stop breathing now. OH managed to explain that I would 'stop breathing' and start pushing once the contraction had finished but only after we had finished laughing

The words "erm, I'm going to have to get someone else to have ago because I'm not sure what I'm feeling" were said to me after my first internal.

I'm not sure I thought it hilarious at the time.

What she was feeling was that I was fully dilated and DD's knee and hand were presenting. That was after me having been there for two hours and no-one checking me.

Lovely.

Not said to me but there was an amusing exchange between consultant and midwife about the whereabouts of my waters. Consultant noted that waters were intact on examination and instructed me to be transferred to delivery suite to have them broken (was induced). Half an hour later, midwife goes to break waters and can't find them. Called the consultant in who was adamant that they were intact. Midwife adamant that they weren't. Both look at me and ask did my waters break during transfer to delivery suite. I say no, don't think so but I am high as a kite on g&a so maybe I just didn't notice... However, the nurse who had brought me upstairs backed me up that they had not gone en route.

'Well where the hell did they go then?' says the consutant.

Every medical professional who entered the room that day asked 'when did the waters break' and the 'we don't know' story was repeated ad infinitum. There was a lot of this face going on.

Their wherabouts remains a mystery to this day.