Resuming sex life and continence after episiotomy

[chimichanga1976]

I was after peoples' personal experience of when you could comfortably start having sex again ( not that I'm remotely in the mood, mind, sleep deprivation = passion killer! lol ) and also when did your continence ( urinary ) go back to normal?

I gave birth 10th Nov and I'm doing my pelvic floor exercises etc but I still have an accident if I don't get to the loo quick enough. No matter how hard I clench muscles it won't prevent wee coming ready or not!!! Also I seem totally unable to have the sensation of a full bladder, so I just have to make sure I toilet myself regularly like an incontinent elderly person! : (

I know they sever the nerves when they do an episiotomy and you just have to be patient while they grow back, but I forgot to ask Dr how long. Sick of being a Tena Lady! Scared of the time coming when we resume naughtiness aswell as afraid it will hurt.

Thanks in advance!

Hello there - I don't know if you saw, but I answered on your other thread :) Hope that you get lots more replies here!

I guess you're going to get a lot of different responses. I was several months in and a lot of lube before I could manage sex again, and it took a few goes before I was completely comfortable.

Luckily I didn't have any incontinence problems. You may want to check with your GP when you have your check up about this.

Was about 6 months before dh and I resumed relations...but then I had a particularly bad epi (haematoma developed in it afterwards, couldn't walk etc)
we just took it v slow and used lubrication and it was honestly fine. I had been dreading it for ages but was really ok...and after a few times I even enjoyed it again, yay! You will feel like you want to again one day, even though it doesn't feel like it at ALL now!

As for the incontinence, it does take several weeks but you must keep doing the pelvic floor exercises, even when you think you have your continence back as your muscles need the rehab. The physio I saw (due to the bad epi) drummed it into me that with any other similar injury you would rehab the muscle for months on end so v important to keep doing it. You have my sympathy though it is horrible feeling like an old lady!

Sex after an episiotomy took me about 6 weeks and required a lot of lube, I didn't have continence problems that ti e but had 2nd degree tear after no 2 I can't remember how long exactly but remember making a gp appt so possibly after my 6 week check, gp did this face and said come back in 6 months if it is still a problem, cleared up soon after that.

thanks for your replies girls. Will crack on with exercises and see GP at wk 6. Prob won't attempt sex before week 6 as MW said there's still swelling until then so a fortnight to go. Maybe little one's night time routine will have improved slightly aswell by then as more sleep is always condusive to improved quality of life generally, here's hoping!! X

I had a 4th degree tear and we tried to be "friendly" at about 10 weeks ish. Sorry if its TMI but hands to begin with., then progressing. Definitely do the exercises and be mindful that certain positions will press on your scar but others won't.

I had one or two accidents but keep on with the exercises and don't forget if you are BF then the hormones mean that all your muscles, including your pelvic floor will be more relaxed until you give up Bf'ing. I had my specialist check up at the hospital at 22 weeks and still need some physio but I know since I gave up BFat 6 months that everything now feels a lot tighter than that assessment.

Sorry again maybe TMI- might be worth checking you are clenching the right muscles as everything is a bit stretched. I bought some weights from Boots that really helped. Worth £20.