Those of you who had tore with their first labours - Did you tear the second time?

[milkyways]

I still have a few weeks to go (I'm 24 weeks), but I am already thinking about labour and birth. I had a second degree tear with DD, and had stitches which got a little infected and I was on AB's for a week to make it better. So all-in-all, not very nice!

Understandably, I don't want the same to happen again, but is there a greater chance of ripping with the second labour?
I am also worried, because this time I am having a boy, and am worried he will be bigger boned and heavier than DD (she only weighed 6lb8oz).

Can anyone reassure me? Should I start perenium massage, and how would I go about doing it properly?

Every one is different, but although I needed stitches for a second d tear first time, next time the it was so small no need for stitches.

Tore with DC1, and then tore in the same places for DC2 - but then had no tearing for DCs 3 & 4. So I don't think it's inevitable.

Depends how you stretch. Personally my scar tissue from my first tear and episiotomy was v crap at strectching - so I had a second epi and small tear and then with dd3 a third epi - cut on the opposite side - yes my bottom is like the Bayeux tapestry! There is a good chance your second child would be heavier even if a girl - second babies are usually bigger.
Massage might help - but it's not for everybody. I tried it and just didn't like the sensation at all.
Sorry I know this isn't very helpful but I hope you can take away from my post the knowledge that even tearing again and again isn't the end of the world.

Just to add, my second child was my only boy, and he weighed in at over a pound lighter than any of his sisters

Second labour even faster than fast first labour and tore again along same line. MW blamed it on giving birth standing up. No idea if that is true

Thanks! I'm noticing a pattern here! My sister tore with her first and second, and then didn't tear with her third. I guess I should prepare myself for some ripping action then!

bella That's interesting!
I wonder if there are any positions you can give birth in to minimise tearing

Had second degree tear with DS1 which was sutured. With DS2 had second degree tear again but MW was happy that it would heal well without sutures (gave good aftercare advice) healed well with no problems and I found it a lot more comfortable than when I had sutures with DS1. DS3 intact perineum, am hoping for same with DC4

I had similar worries about tearing 2nd time as I ended up with large episiotomy (Kiellands forceps) 1st time which felt like it took a lifetime to feel "normal" again after.

Tried (or rather DH tried) perineal massage on me 2nd time round which reduced me to tears as I found it so uncomfortable so did not do it again. Was fully anticipating tearing or being cut again but gave birth 2 weeks ago without a tear or cut. Not sure that there was any magic reason for this but I do remember thinking I had better listen very carefully to the midwife when she said "stop pushing" during the 2nd stage. She encouraged me to "cough" the baby out at that pt. I thought she was bonkers but in hindsight it must have slowed down the pushing and potential to tear.

First time yes (and an episiotomy - is that how you spell it?) second time NOTHING AT ALL.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I think I'm going to look up perenium massage on google and find out how to do it. I think, like alot of you though, it will be a bit painful, because I noticed my scar has become quite tender on the inside since getting pregnant.

I had an epidural last time, so couldn't feel "the urge to push" and just followed what the midwife was telling me, so I suppose this time I may not even have an epidural, and if I do, I could ask for it to be cranked down at stage 2 so I actually feel something and hopefully not push when baby's head crowns!

All fours positions and positions which raise your arms above your head are apparently good for reducing chances of tearing.

I tore with my first baby, but with my second labour (which was very fast) I didn't tear. I was on all fours for both. Also DS was lighter than DD so I wouldn't worry about a boy being necessarily bigger.

Good luck with your second baby!

Episiotomy and stitches with first, no tear or episiotomy with second. I used almond oil for perineum massage in my second pregnancy.

Small tear with first, absolutely huge one with second. So bad I had to be catheterised for two days. Apparently I was lucky to avoid major surgery.

Midwife didn't tell me to stop pushing as the head crowned.

Went on to have two more and had small tears both times. Boys and their big heads!

3rd degree with dd1 - repaired in theatre
2nd degree with dd2 - tore starting from end of original tear (where skin is thinnest - repairs much worse (not done in theatre)

Did perineum massage both times.

Babies both just over 7 lbs

1dc cs
2dc tore badly - v quick birth
3 dc tore really really badly - v slw birth, in labour for days, baby distressed
4 dc insisted on cs

Before 3dc birth i read up on perinel massage to try to minimse tearing. Read repeatedly that its only effective with 1st birth. Tred it anyway. Did not help. Ripped to pieces.

DS - weighed 6lb 1oz - had 2nd degree internal tear. Overall not good experience

DD - weighed 7lb 11oz - had a "small graze". Was very excited when they told me that, after her birth

With my boys i had an EMCS, so no tears.

With DD - 10lb2oz, and back to back - 3rd degree tear which was repaired in theatre, no aftercare and bad infection.

With DS3 - 9lb 15.5oz - 2nd degree tear and only a few stitches, but hardly any pain and healed much better then the one i had with DD.