Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

Original poster

sex post third degree tear

16 replies

soandsosmum · 02/09/2011 08:39

We've only had it twice since DD was born and it was all quite nice until The Act when it wasnt at all. I'm 14 weeks post third degree tear.

How long did it take you to enjoy sex again post tear?

OP posts:

MaMattoo · 02/09/2011 08:55

5 months according to my friend who had third degree tears. 3 months to have the courage to do it. 5 months to enjoy it. 7 and she initiated it good luck and keep up the kegels they help!

Zimbah · 02/09/2011 09:03

Haven't tried yet, also 14 weeks post tear. I want to but I'm scared it will be awful and become 'an issue' so I'd rather not try at all rather than try and have it be horrible. I realise this is however not a sustainable situation and I'm going to have to bite the bullet at some point. DH very understanding and no pressure at all which really helps, but I think I just need to force myself otherwise I could quite easily go a year or more I should think.

Iggly · 02/09/2011 10:06

I spoke to my GP at the six week check and he suggested using a dildo to stretch things. I was too busy trying not to laugh as he said it in his german accent

All jokes aside, it took a few months - at first it was painful, then uncomfortable and finally back to normal. Take it slowly, use lots of lube TMI

first1 · 02/09/2011 10:44

4 months to attempt it and have tears in my eyes from the pain, 8 months to bite the bullet and tolerate it, 12 months to be ok

Metalhead · 02/09/2011 13:27

6 months, and mine were 'only' second degree tears.

Zimbah · 02/09/2011 19:44

Jeez this isn't particularly reassuring is it. Where are all the hordes of people saying ' I had a third degree tear and was swinging from the rafters at three months pp"

Backinthebox · 02/09/2011 19:48

People tend to shout louder about negative things, Zimbah. Now I don't like to discuss my sex life with a bunch of strangers, but draw whatever conclusions you want from the fact I went horse riding 5 weeks after 2nd and 3rd tears which needed surgery to repair. Everyone's tear is individual and heals in it's own way. Some take longer to get over than others.

Flisspaps · 02/09/2011 20:03

2 weeks to attempt it (successfully - no pain/sensitivity issues). Didn't 'enjoy' sex really until DD left our room at 6mo though I suppose!

Walnut8 · 04/09/2011 12:15

It takes a while. Don't worry about it too much and use lots of lube, like others say. I was terrified after my 2nd degree tear that I had been stitched up incorrectly as it hurt so much at 3 months! By six months however it was fine (and in fact is even better ... perhaps a good surgeon?!)

readysteady · 04/09/2011 20:46

i had a extensive 3rd degree tear but managed 8 weeks after and it was fine bit of a anticlimax though (ho ho) due to both my and dh nerves but we are glad we got it over and done with, due to lack of sleep haven't tried again but it was fine!

Fleecy · 05/09/2011 12:32

3c tear here and we waited 12 weeks. I was very nervous but it was absolutely fine. No problems at all. Agree, use lots of lube.

BodyUnknown · 05/09/2011 22:21

Tried at 5 weeks, couldn't do it though couldn't work out if it was just my fear stopping it or the actual pain - we did lots of lube. Tried again every other week, and wasn't anywhere near normal until 6 months. With hindsight, I'd just have waited at least 6 months before even trying, I don't think my body was ready.

grc3626 · 06/09/2011 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Original poster

soandsosmum · 06/09/2011 17:40

Reassuring. Thanks!

OP posts:

Original poster

soandsosmum · 07/09/2011 21:15

Just using my mooncup for the first time since birth and have had to cut off the stem to make it comfy confirming I am different down there :(

OP posts:

RockChick1984 · 09/09/2011 06:30

My ds is now 6 months and I'm feeling much happier now, first attempt was about 4 weeks after the birth, it was painful and not enjoyable at all, we had to stop part way through kept trying and by about 3 months we were doing it again although I didn't really enjoy it. Dh is fantastic, no pressure from him, but I know if we hadn't been doing it then I would have worked it up into a big deal and it could have taken months and months until we tried again! Am back to 'normal' now, still using lube but apparently thats to do with hormones after the birth and can need it for up to a year after. It sounds daft, but each time we did it I could tell it was getting tighter down there (TMI!!) but also that I was enjoying it a bit more each time, and that encouraged me to keep at it!

Flip