What can I say to GP to make them refer me (stitches?)

[rococopops]

long and tmi, sorry

Gave birth in May, DS was born with hand up by his face, he was fairly large 9lb 6 and the 3rd of three quite big babies eldest 5. After birth MW was prodding and poking and I stupidly said "only stitch if absoluely necessary", she said I had a perineal tear and that she needed to stick finger up my bum to check, then with one thing and another the subject was dropped and assumed I didn't need stitches, gave birth at 1.00 am home at sunrise.
Everything going fine then in bed one night feeding and I felt something drop down, immediate thoughts were prolapse, I have had two checks for this and apparently not. I have had a look but tbh the feeling is quite deep within, it just feels sore and like there is 'something there' now I find I bleed (vaginally) after emptying my bowels and have had sex, but it just feels wrong. My GP is very very crap though and I just need some advice on how to 'force' them to refer me, I know they will say it takes time to heal blah bah blah but it is making me miserable.

Thanks for reading if you've got this far

It sounds like you definitely need a proper examination. Re your GP, I am always amazed at how they could refuse a referral based on what you have written above. If you tell them all the above, they refuse, then ask them to state in writing that they are 100% confident there is no damage to you based on their clinical judgement. That may give him/her pause for thought. Alternatively, ring the hospital and explain the above, is that a possibility? Or change GPs? Not sure how feasible that is.

Is there possibly another GP in the practice you can see, if you don't feel confident with yours? Our practice has 3, and it depends on what I'm going for as to who I see

From what you have said, I would definitely say there is something not quite right, so I would push to be reffered and have it looked at properly

I meant to add, does it sound like I may need stitches retrospectively? Just phoned GP and they can't see me until 14th September or I can "try phoning at 8.00am" thanks for the advice so far, hosptial might be an option there was a leaflet in my discharge papers about discussing the birth with someone. I will defo change GP's if I ever get to see one, with the last two I got the impression that this was really not something they want to be doing, one even asked me to ask for a lady doctor next time. yeah because there's really nothing I'd rather be doing either mate.

I just need to be scarily assertive!!!!

I would ask to be refered to a gynae. They don't need to examine you again just refer.

It's too late for stitches. You need a gynae assessment and then they can fix anything that's gone wonky. Go back to your GP and request a referral to the hospital gynae department for assessment.

Thanks all, will make appointment, I am getting scared that it can't get fixed and this is how it's going to be from now on

Sorry to hear you have had such a crap time. Sometimes being assertive is the only way but it SHOULDN'T be, you should have gotten better care in the first place and a much more sympathetic reception when you alerted them to the problem.

Your doctor shouldn't have told you to "ask for a lady doctor" next time either - what a prat. If he can't cope with talking about this he should fuck off and become a professional flower presser instead. I'd be making a written complaint about this if I were you (but then I am often scarily assertive like that!)

There is a long-running support thread somewhere on MN I think about "down below stitch-ups" they might be able to offer you some more specific advice, all I can do is give you a gentle punch to the shoulder and wish you luck.

Sending lots of sympathy roco, your doctor sounds like a total waste of space and I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. I had problems with stitches and a fissure in back passage following birth and it took me months to get a referral from my GP despite excruciating pain, bleeding and passing what looked to me like scar tissue (tmi!). My experience was the GPs seemed not to have much of a clue with this sort of thing. I even felt a little bit like they were fobbing me off with the old chestnut 'you've given birth, it's bound not to be the same down there'. It wasn't until I saw a consultant, who was utterly brilliant, that it was sorted out pronto.

I would say get the GP appointment and be really clear that you want a consultant to see you. It my be too late for a retro stitch up now, but a repair job and restitch might be poss. That's what I had and I couldn't believe how quickly it healed. In any case you need to be sure that someone who knows what they're doing sees you asap so be persistant if you're not happy.