Straight after a waterbirth

[Jill72]

I am a single mum of 39 - first baby. I am currently living with my dad and will be for the next six months. I want to have a home waterbirth and have spoken to my dad to see if he would agree to let me do this at home. He has been really great and is willing to consider this despite his first reaction being should I not be in hospital where the medical people are? - I understand his concerns but pointed out that perhaps he does not yet have the full information on homebirth. He did say one thing that would worry him is me giving birth and then the midwives buggering of pretty swiftly leaving us alone with a newborn - would I not be 'out of it' for the next 24hrs and would he be left with the baby? (he was stunned when I told him that even if I went to hospital they would be chucking you out within 24 - 48hrs anyway - he thought I would be in for a week at least) What happened in your house? How long did midwife stay? Any advice?

Hi there, congrats on your pregnancy! Could you go for a birthing unit instead? There are some that can have quite nice, homely environments with the bonus of medical care at hand. I think if you did really want a homebirth, the MWs would support you and they don't just disappear the moment the baby is born, e.g. I understand they clear up after, and support you with breastfeeding etc. However, I don't know if they are responsible for keeping the pool water warm? Certainly they don't have to fill it up. Would your dad manage this on his own? I seem to remember friends' who've had homebirths said their DH's were constantly boiling kettles / pans of water to keep the pool topped up and some of them had other birth companions there too such as their mum / doula etc. I think homebirths can sometimes be a lot of work for the birth companion compared to a hospital birth where they are set up and all is provided. It depends I guess on how much you've got your heart set on a home birth.

Good on your Dad for being open minded - he may be reassured by a browse around www.homebirth.org.uk and there's a great book called 'The Father's Homebirth handbook' which you might want to track down for him.

At my homebirth and all those I've attended as a doula the MWs have stayed around for 2-3 hours afterwards. They'll clean up a bit, make sure you are ok and baby is feeding before they leave.

You'll probably be very tired but on a high and shouldn't be 'out of it' at all. He may be thinking of women who've had a lot of drugs during labour which of course you won't have done at a homebirth.

A few other bits and bobs might reassure him. Babies are often sleepy for the first 12-24 hrs so you may well find you can all get some good rest.

The MWs usually pop back the next day and sometimes that afternoon if babies are born early in the morning. You'll also have lots of phone numbers should you need anyone urgently.

Hospitals often discharge after a normal birth in 6 hrs now, so it's even less time than you are thinking.

Have you thought about having a doula? More info here www.doula.org.uk and some useful birth stories and doula info on my website www.hackneydoula.co.uk. You may find the antenatal support and preparation useful, as well as an experienced birth partner and of course the doula usually stays longer than the midwives and comes back to see you after the birth and is at the end of the phone should you need anything. It may well be a good solution to avoid your dad feeling too responsible.

Thanks squiggleywiggler! He deserves a medal does my dad !! He is a young 72 and really being great about the impending bombshell about to hit his house!!! I have been thinking about a doula as it may help to alleviate some of dads worries about what happens next. It has really surprised me at how alarmed people are when you say you are thinking of homebirth - there is a real belief in our country that hospital is the only safe place to be. I just need to make sure I supply him with all the right info and that my midwife is supportive.

hi jil, i'm considering a water birth too but if i do i'll hire a heated pool so as to minimise the faff of keeping it warm. Good luck.

Good Luck

Im having a home water birth too, so long as i make it to next Sunday without having baby early!

If you read the research on homebirth you will realise that for a low risk pregnancy is actually the safest place to give birth... both you and baby are less likely to die, baby is likely to have a higher apgar score, less intervention etc..... being in hospital is not as "safe" as people seem to believe.... and you have pretty much the same medical equipment avaliable for a homebirth as you would if in a midwife led birthing centre...
AND you get 2 midwives all to yourself, which you DONT get in hospital.
(I'm having 3 as 2 proper midwives and a student who has never yet attended a home birth has asked to come to mine and i have said yes; i have seen her for my past 3 midwife appts, and am happy for her to come)

So many people assume you are stupid / mad / insane / selfish / negligent for having a homebirth (well at least thats what i have found) but actually you are doing both yourself and your baby a favour, and midwives are well trained, and will get you to hospital if there is any hint of a problem