Suddenly feeling scared and under prepared. Help!

[PrincessJenga]

I've been relatively relaxed throughout my pregnancy, but now that i've hit 37 weeks and the baby could realistically arrive at any time I am panicking about the birth itself.

• I'd hoped to do the natal hypnotherapy course, but couldn't get on to an actual course, have only done the CD about twice and am only half way through the book (I know, I know, a bit late now!)

• I thought I wasted a home birth, but we literally only moved house yesterday so that's looking unlikely.

• Then I decided to go to a birth centre in the next health authority along from ours but my midwife tells me they're not accepting out of county referrals so it looks like it'll be local consultant led unit at hospital.

Help! I know none of these things are insurmountable. Baby will arrive. We'll (hopefully!) be fine, but I'm scared and panicky. How can I relax and make this into the calm experience I wanted instead of something terrifying?

It's not too late for the natal hypnotherapy!! I listened to it 4-5 times a week from 37 weeks, and read the book (course was v expensive), and it really helped me accept a birth that didn't go as expected. Nothing serious, but I was 16 days overdue and had a really lovely induction with DC1 (4 weeks ago today!). It lasted just 6 hours, contractions were not too bad (managed without any pain relief), lost it a bit during very sudden transition but got it together again for the pushing with a bit of pain relief and a very tiny cut (DD was almost 10 pounds). Was a lovely birth experience all in all.

I was with community midwives and was hoping to go in labour direct to their nice, homely delivery room, avoiding the overcrowded labour ward. In the end, I was on that ward because I was induced, but even that wasn't as bad as I thought. Was transferred to the nice room, got the midwife I wanted, after a few hours and a lovely lunch on the ward!

Even going so overdue I was calm and so comfortable during the last 2 weeks, I think because of that CD partly.

GOOD LUCK! Enjoy every moment of the pregnancy, birth and first few moments with your baby!

I've had lovely, calm straight forward births (lucky, I know) both on consultant led unit and in MW led birth centre. So even if you are going to be in a consultant led unit it doesn't mean you are going to have a very medical birth.

Call the hospital and ask if you are allowed to go in and see the unit, some still allow this. If you can't ask lots of questions, then you feel more prepared.

Write a birth plan if you haven't already, writing mine was useful because it made me think about what was important to me and what I wanted.

Also, meant to say that my first labour was both straight forward, calm and terrifying if that's possible!

Hi - I know it easier said that done but try not to worry about being prepared. You can have the best plans ever but competely change your mind, or the baby doesn't agree with your plans once you are in labour. Best thing you can do is to have obviously a general idea, but be flexible and do what the professionals say for a safe delivery for you and the baby. All the best

Thank you ladies. Your stories have reassured me. I've called the birth centre & they say my midwife is talking rubbish & just to go there. Whoop! I've also told DP how scared I am so he knows that job no 1 is to calm me down when things start. Phew. Now, where did I put that hypno cd?

Are you able to get your hands on a book called Ina May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth at all? Im nearly 37 weeks and just started reading it yesterday, it will make you feel like a potential Superwoman, you'll look forward to the birth :)

Wow. Thanks Becca. I fancy feeling like superwoman! I'm popping into town tomorrow so I'll try to find it then

have you been to any ante natal / birth talk classes? I'm sure your midwife could find out. hospitals usually have them weekly

Why can't you still have a home birth. I moved at 37 weeks and had DS2 at home 5 weeks after we moved in, best thing I ever did!

If you are low risk I can not see why they are insisting on consultant led care?

I would push for midwife led or home. Try asking again or a different person.

But my best advice would be to relax and enjoy the last weeks and try to keep stress down. What will be will be. I think the majority of women want a low intervention birth and in my experience those that do are very lucky. I had the full induction, epidural etc as I went very late and had high BP but it was still a very positive experience.

Have a home birth and don't worry about the natal therapy stuff. I only STARTED listening to the CD's on my due date and it was still worth doing. Baby swam out and didn't hurt a jot.