2nd degree tear, no stitches . . healing?

[knackered76]

I had a choice whether to have stitches or not and opted for not. I have had the mw have a look and everything seems to be fine down there apart from a 'gape' . I have looked myself and it seems as though the healing process is only happening 1/2 to 3/4 of what tore. The mw said there will probably always be a gape which has upset me. If I'd have known it wouldn't all heal I would have opted for the stitches.

Has anyone else had this and was it okay? By okay I mean did it effect your sex life later on. I appreciate that it really doesn't matter what it looks like down there as no-one is looking but the effect on sex is likely to be more of an issue.

I've had 2 second degree tears and not had either stitched. First time round I refused them (for various reasons including the nastiness of the mw). That one took 10 weeks to heal fully. I think it still feels 'different' to before if I touch where the tear was. It hasn't made a difference to our sex life though (it hurt during those 10 weeks when we tried it, some of the tearing was internal so it seemed like it had healed until we had sex, but after that it was fine)

Second time round I used an independent midwife and they advised me to have a couple of weeks of bed rest/taking it v easy. They said that going up/down stairs and generally walking about prevents the tear healing quickly (cos you're constantly moving it about iykwim). It was healed within a week that time

How long is it since you gave birth? Could you maybe take it easy for a week or so?

I gave birth just over 2 weeks ago but have 2 others so not much chance of taking it easy, even with dh at home to help! I guess I'll just have to be patient and wait, although good to hear it hasn't had an impact :)

Not exactly sure this is helpful, but I had a second degree tear which was stitched and still took eons to heal. I remember throwing my husband off me at about 7 weeks, when we decided to have a go at getting back in the saddle so to speak! He may as well have come at me with a red hot poker (meant to be literal - not metaphorical!!! )

I basically didn't feel anything like normal down there for a good few months and it has never quite gone back to the way it was, which I suspect is normal post birth. However, it hasn't posed any problems in terms of regaining a normal sex life. I'd mention your concerns at your six week check. Your GP may be able to offer a slightly more medical view than your midwife as to long-term recovery, or options to have a repair if needs be.