Homebirth and disturbing neighbours!

[ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts]

Am currently 24+4 with DC2 and this time round am trying to cover all my options to really plan what I do and don't want.

Just trying to work out if a homebirth would be a viable option for me. I know it's early days but I just want to have things clear in my head.

With DD I was induced at 40+12 and she was born after an 11 1/2 hour labour with episiotomy and ventouse. She was 9lb 3 1/2oz and is now a lively 3.2yo :)

First things first, would I be allowed a homebirth?

And secondly, what do you do about your neighbours? I think I was quite vocal whilst in labour with DD and I don't want to embarrass myself! I live in a first floor flat in a victorian house conversion and the walls and floors are like paper. I can even hear my neighbours coughing! I have neighbours above and below me. Above is a single girl and below is a couple with a DD who will be 2 by the time my EDD comes.

I haven't got my heart set on it at all, just scouting for options so any opinions welcome :)

Firstly - no-one is allowed a homebirth. It is the mother's choice as to where she gives birth - a mw, Dr or anyone else can only advise.

Just warn the neighbours that you're planning a homebirth, and that you are sorry in advance for any noise - to be honest, one night isn't going to be an issue once the baby arrives and is up every couple of hours

Flisspaps - that's what I thought! I asked DH last night what he thinks to a HB and his first response was "I doubt the neighbours will be impressed!"

So do you just give birth on your own bed then? Would I need to buy loads of waterproof stuff? Would I have access to pain relief just the same as I would in hospital?

I was so ill informed in my first pregnancy, it's nice to be able to be well prepared for a change.

You give birth wherever you want to. When DD1 was born at home I was in the lounge, on my knees and draped over DH's lap. Bathrooms are also quite common (more to do with women thinking they need a poo and not having time to get elsewhere when they realise the "poo" is a baby!)

we got a massive tarpaulin from B&Q (about £5) and covered the lounge in it, as that's where I expected to wind up. Then we had a stack of old towels, and the MWs will bring incopads and are experts at keeping the mess contained.

You might want to get a waterproof sheet of some description for your bed anyway as you head towards the end of pregnancy - many times your waters won't go till you're in labour, but if they do go over your mattress it tends to be a bit of an insurance job!

Pain relief - you can hire a TENS machine, just as you would at hospital. You can hire/buy a birth pool if you want one. The MWs will bring gas and air. They can usually administer pethidine but may not be able to bring it (in which case you need to get a prescription from your GP). The only thing you categorically can't have at home is an epidural.

If you haven't come across it, www.homebirth.org.uk is a fantastic resource for those considering/planning homebirth.

And in the words of Mary Cronk "'Allow' is not a word to use to a mentally competent adult!"

I think your neighbours would be fine with it (if they are reasonable human beings, that is) it's not like you plan on home birthing every weekend

Good luck with it.

My next door neighbour had a home birth - first we knew about it was seeing the new baby!

For my home birth, I just used a large piece of plastic sheeting and loads of old sheets and the mess wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We did have to throw away a bean bag, which I had become very fond of in the later stage of labour, as I wasn't going to try and clean anything after giving birth near it.

I chose gas and air, which the Midwives brought, I was offered Pethidine if I wanted it, but as Tangle says, you need to get it on prescription from your Dr in advance. My midwives visited my home at about 38 weeks, to drop off a box with some of the things they would need for the birth.

No problems with the neighbours, my home birth was much more relaxed than either of my two hospital births. The only glitch we had, was when my mum invited in 2 Jehovah's Witnesses, as she thought they were extra midwives, but they virtually ran out of the house when they realised the mistake.

MrsDanverclone Bet they won't knock at your door again in a hurry!!

I managed to get through 5 tanks of G&A with DD but am pretty adamant I don't want that much this time although who's to say I won't change my mind as soon as I remember what that pain feels like!! It made me vomit and completely incoherent, and I want to be able to be the one who makes the decisions not laying there laughing my ass off not knowing what day it is! Epidural wise, am dead set against one, unless really necessary, would never choose to have one so not an issue.

Am seriously considering it though. Will take a look at that link now :)

Used a shower curtain on my mattress last time in case my waters went but I was induced in the end so didn't need it.

Will have to speak to my MW and see what she thinks :) Have been lucky so far and seen the same one everytime and and building up quite a rapport with her so hopefully I can get her!

Have lots of old towels and sheets and my mum has a collection to rival Dunelm so that isn't an issue. Have my own birthing ball as well so I'm pretty prepared already!

It did appear to put them off, as we were never bothered by them again
I knew which midwives I was going to have throughout my pregnancy and saw either one of them when at Dr's, which was lovely. Unfortunately neither one of them were there when I gave birth, as Dd decided to come early and neither were available. ( day off and with another mum) so I had two ladies who I'd never met before in my life, and they were just lovely.

Talk to your midwife, mine were very supportive, Dr wasn't, but that's another story! Out of my 3 births, it is my favourite and I'd hoped to have another home birth with my third child, but he had to be induced due to being overdue.

I had LOADS of gas and air with dd1 in hospital and none for dd2, dd3 or ds all born at home. It was much easier to cope with the pain giving birth at home, had tens and a pool each time, but no need for G&A

Our neighbours have never really been disturbed by the births, although the dog did bark a lot when the 2nd midwife knocked on the door 10 mins after dd2 had been born! one rather woo inclined neighbour did come and congratulate us the next day and said she new the baby had arrived as she'd felt a shift in the energy around our house

Im having a homebirth (fingers crossed, so long as baby isnt transverse or very early etc)

we live in a victorian end terrace, and dont here neighbours much at all (except when their washing machine spins)

Have to say that i am not bothered or influenced by my neighbours hearing me or not. If they do, they do, and im not going to drive 45mins to hospital while in labour just so they dont hear!

I am hoping to be quiet and concentrating on breathing.. but who knows lol!

I'm planning a homebirth in a ground floor flat. I was also quite noisy l;ast time so planning to put up a notivce in the communal hallway in case people think I am being murdered lol
But hoping to be calm and quieter this time lol

Yes I definitely want to be quieter and calmer this time. I suppose doing it once and kind of not knowing my stuff is really encouraging me to do my research this time. I don't see a MW again until 28weeks so will bring it up then and see what she says :)

Thanks all for your pearls of wisdom! :)

I had an episiottomy last time and planning on doing some pwerineal massage this time to try to avoid tearing

Go for it! I had an amazing homebirth with DD2 last week, with the amazing Squiggleywiggler as my doula. I think I sounded like I was being murdered (didn't know, as last time I ended up with syntocinon and an epidural from early on, but it turns out I am one of those people who needs to 'vocalise' as a coping mechanism), but none of the neighbours have commented yet!

Also, I had forceps for DD1. It isn't considered any sort of counter-indication for homebirth unless there are other factors (at least in my trust). The odds of delivering without assistance second time is very good (not sure the exact stats). Others are right that it's not a question of 'allowing' homebirth, but I have to say that the midwives were all very supportive of my choice.

Hi, home births can be truely amazing. Im a birth Doula and home births are always my favourite. Repeating what many have already said - as long as there are no known compilcations of course you can have one if you wish. Lots of home births include a waterbirth which can be a great way of relaxing and is also a natural pain relief.You can purchase your own waterproof sheets, but the midwife will bring a supply too and i have never found neighbours to complain about the birth of a baby, just maybe mention it to them first. If you would like any more info about any aspect of home births or water births feel free to get in touch. [email protected] www.northlondondoulas.co.uk
Good luck and congratulations.x

I'm doing a HB too and will be dropping a card through their letter box. Unfortunately their son died last month (he was only 21) so I don't want to ring the bell and have a long chat - they've already put a card through saying they aren't very good at talking about it all so I don't think me beaming on about my birthing pool would help tbh. I just think that I'd rather they weren't worrying about a knife wielding murderer attacking me for hours and at least have the option of going out if they start hearing me swearing at everything under the sun... Obviously their choice is somewhat lessened if it happens to be at 4am for example, but then they will have years of screaming and crying (from bubs, hopefully not me!) to look forward to anyway!