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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

when should i have another baby?

12 replies

Buddhamummy · 19/10/2005 01:13

These are the facts:

DD will be 1 in november.
We would like to have 3 or 4 in total(nature permitting)(currently under the naive illusion that all pregnancies and births will be as easy as first-please dont burst my bubble)

I will be 33 next year. DH will be 38.
Do we go for it bam, bam ,bam!!! all the sleepless nights and nappies etc in one go or is it nice to pace it, and if so by how much?

oh wise mumsnetters what has your experience been of either? im off to bed now and cant log on until late wed night but look forward to reading your pearls of wisdom.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bobbybob · 19/10/2005 04:23

If you want 3 or 4 then I would just go for it. If you try to plan and find the 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) hard to conceive then you will never forgive yourself for waiting.

Satanic · 19/10/2005 07:20

We've had our two 18 months apart - not by strict planning, just fate really - and although the first couple of months were busy, now they play together really well and the baby phase is passing. I feel that I would find it harder to go back to having a tiny baby now that my eldest is 3 and starting nursery a couple of mornings a week - if I had left having another baby, I'd really be apprehensive about turning my life on its head once again! Although I love tiny babies, I do remember that feeling of shellshock for the first couple of weeks!

foundintranslation · 19/10/2005 07:24

Have similar issues. ds is 5 months, I'm 28, we would like 3 or 4 too. Current plan is start ttc (not very actively but see what happens) when ds is 1, but am thinking about possibly bringing that forward (?!). have had a LOT of luck with ds though. After initial problems he is amazingly uncomplicated (atm!!!).

jessicaandbumpsmummy · 19/10/2005 08:22

i will have 15 months between my 2, as im the same, want 3 or 4 eventually.

although i dont have the age thing to worry about (im 23, dh 27) i wanted 2 close together and then leave a gap before trying for 3 and 4.

I would say go for it.... ill probably need my head examining in 4 years time when i want to try for number 3!

pindy · 19/10/2005 09:00

Go for it NOW!!!! I have 17 months between my 2 and yes it was hard work at first but after 6 months it was OK. They are now 13 and nearly 12, would do the same again (most days!!!)

Good luck!

Original poster

Buddhamummy · 21/10/2005 19:25

Thanks mums, i had kind of already decided to go for it and especially when i think of them (hopefully) playing together and later being friends it makes me think defo. I had sisters alot older than me and although we became close as teenagers and now are great friends it was hard when i was really young. ooo how exciting......

J and B mummy and found in we will have to keep each other posted and sane as our families increase and the brain cells slowly dissapear!!! good luck

OP posts:

cr1 · 21/10/2005 21:27

I have just found out today I am due again in june 06 I have just had a gorgeous babe 9 months ago who ideally i would have liked to have been exclusively his for some time but know babes will grow up together and as I am not in my twenties any more i didnt want to space things out too much but it is a very personal decision i dont think there is a right or wrong gap between kids it all depends on each one personallity as to whether they get on regardless of age gap

staceym11 · 21/10/2005 21:49

whenever you feel happy, if you think you could honestly cope with all 4 in one go, go for it, at the end of the day you'll love them and untimately cope, maybe you'l have a second when your lo is about 2 and think arrrrrgh its just too soon and space out the next one a bit more, but its up to you, there is never a right time to have any kid, if you waited for the right time you'd be forever waiting!!! go for it girl!!!

Frizbe · 21/10/2005 21:51

Just go for it, it may take longer than you think conceiving 2nd time around...

RachD · 21/10/2005 22:07

Def go for it.
Don't hang about.
Don't meaen to sound like the voice of doom, but really I do understand, being 32 myself and having one son, you never know how long your fertility will continue.

Some mums its 40++, but most people accept that as you go through the thirties, it declines.
So, just go for it.

Spillage · 21/10/2005 22:16

I have two children 2 years part and I find it hard going at times but I do try to visualize on the turn of the year and how their paths will cross. My mum had 5 of us and she surived it and my ole man's mum was one of 10.

sarahlou123 · 26/10/2005 21:30

hi
i'd agree, go for it!! my ds is 6 months now, had an emergency c-section with him so was advised to wait until he was 6 months before ttc#2. ppaf has just arrived so will be officially ttc this month!! i am the eldest of 5, between me and one of my sisters there is a year and 2 weeks exactly, then my bro came along about a year and half later, then my other bro came along a couple of years after and finally my little sister came along eleven months after my brother. so my youngest brother and sister are very close in age. mum found it hard work but said its great because now she's still only 43 and plenty young enough to enjoy her grandchildren and do the things she wantsd to do.
good luck and go for it!!
luv sarahlou xx

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