7yr old wanting to go to heaven.

[Hellobell]

Hi,

I have a 7yr old child, who’s diognosed with adhd and also showing signs of dyslexia and dyscalculia, my child really struggles at school but since has a plan in place and they are receiving help.

child is very social, has friends and comes from a loving family.

in the past he’s said he wants to die (usually when things don’t go to plan or he dosnt get it what he wants) and today after having such a lovely weekend (he had his big class party yesterday for his birthday) he’s turned around and said he wants to go to heaven and that he wants to die and he’ll be happier, this was said after he got home from being out and wanted to play his new PlayStation game but it had a 4hr update so he wasn’t able to play it right at that times

he is unmedicated for his adhd atm.

how serious should I take these comments ? Has anyone experienced this, any tips or advice very much welcome. I am very worried and want him to have the best support.

thank you

This sounds tricky. I have had a child that said this at a similar age, but only when upset etc..
I think it's best not to overreact, especially in front of him when he says it. Perhaps in reply ask him to talk about how he's feeling or distract him with an activity he enjoys. I think at that age the concept of death may not be secure anyway. If it did carry on or get worse then talk to GP/CAMHS.

What is your reaction when he says this? if you have a big reaction, e.g. I'm so sorry you feel sad, shall we talk about it, what is wrong, lets have chocolate instead ... then he may learn to make comments like this to get a sympathetic reaction.

This is not to say he is not sad or upset, but rather that he doesn't actually want to go to heaven, he just knows that talking about death is a good way to get a big sympathetic reaction when he is feeling down.

If a kid said "I want to go to heaven" and the parent responds "yes, dear, and I want to go to Hawaii but we can't all have what we want, now help me load the dishwasher", then the kid if not getting the same encouragement.

it is a tricky balance, both to listen to a kid but also to not over-react.

it might help to talk about things that you can do to feel better, e.g. if you can't have the playstation, shall we draw some pictures together instead?

but I wouldn't be responding to the specific comments about dying.

Thank you both, infact I asked him why he feels like that but he didn’t say much and just asked if I would play snakes and ladders so he had his shower and we sat down and played 3 games of it and he was all smiles and laughed and went to bed all happy.

i find it challenging as i don’t remeber saying these things as a child and i do worry, but i can see a pattern that it happens when things aren’t going his way.

and yes I think I need to change the way I react towards that’s for this advice !