Should I move my son after a difficult year at school?

[Roberta2020]

DS currently attends a very good state school located in a neighbourhood which is not close to our home. We chose that school because it was academically good, had lots of green space and a forest, and a great ethos.
Reception year went okay.
Y1 was awful. DS started misbehaving at home and school, lost weight, could not sleep at night, developed school refusal (desperate crying in the morning), had anger outbursts.
Holidays were great. His personality changed drastically for the better. Played nicely with all kids and grandparents, was polite with everyone, slept and ate well, but had the occasional anxiety moment about going back to school.
During the last week, mainly during walks or mealtime, he managed to share with us two things

1. His teacher last year screamed at him a lot and grabbed him by the arm a lot
2. At playtime he is mostly alone

I feel.... horrible. I thought I had chosen the right school, but it seems my son was profoundly unhappy this year and I did not realise it.
He will have a new teacher this year. I am thinking to wait and see how things go, but if I observe the same patterns as last year, I will consider changing schools.

Thoughts?
(Please be kind, we are all tryin' here)

It sounds like your DS is under a lot of stress for behaviour like that, have you spoken to the school about the teacher screaming and grabbing him?
I would absolutely move him, he’s still very young, hopefully a new school will be a calmer environment where he can start to thrive. Have you found a good school with a place for him?

It does sound like moving could be good for him especially if he is getting anxious again about going back. Was it quite a big school? He may be better somewhere smaller?

It may be that he struggles to cope with this school or it may be he struggled to cope with that teacher or it may be he will struggle to cope with any school.

i’d take him saying he is always alone at playtime with a pinch of salt. On the other hand there have clearly been issues this year.

what was his report like? Presumably with school refusal etc you had meetings and catch ups with the teacher. What dud they say?

there can be all sorts of reasons for school refusal and it’s probably a good idea to try to work out what is behind it.

I do have another school nearby. Not as good, but the neighbours' kids are going, so he would know other children. I did have a LOT of meetings with Y1 teacher and she was always very balanced in acknowledging both the efforts and the struggles my child had, and I worked a lot at home to help him, but I really feel by the end of the year their relationship was very broken.
Thank you for all your feedback. I will probably move him.

I would move him especially as the neighbour's kids are going to the other school.

I’d probably move him. And I’d let the school know that your ds was so unhappy to return to school after his y1 experiences that you’re hoping a fresh start willhelp.

I would move him. He's so young that he should settle quickly, and it sounds like he was so anxious that a fresh start with people he knows sounds positive.

I’d move him, especially if it’s a slog to get him to the school he hates. We had a desperately unhappy child at a later stage of school (Y8) and she told us she hoped lockdown would never end so that she wouldn’t have to go back there. We never did send her back to that school - just took the decision to move her somewhere else. She was a different girl after that: quickly settled, did very well both socially and academically, and is now at university.

Also: a school can be “very good” by all sorts of measures, but still the wrong fit for a particular child.