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Child mental health

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My son’s asking for advice and I don’t know how to properly give him one.

2 replies

priyanikalia · 19/08/2026 08:07

My child was asking me for an advice and I genuinely don’t know what to give him but here’s his story:

My son was 15 y/o when this happened, his first ever unofficial relationship of months ended without him wanting it and he briefly jumped to the other relationship. That relationship went about 1 year and he was the first girl that he introduced me officially.

They broke up because of an issue that circulated their school and I saw my son truly devastated about it and that was the time I sent him to therapy, shortly after that he said that he went back to his first ever unofficial relationship that his ex girlfriend was worried about and they hooked up but he said that he didn’t give his full consent and only went with it because he said it was kind of like the way he “cope”.

He then ended things with this girl because he figured that he wanted her ex-girlfriend back and he did all things of some sort (he courted her once again, begged, even dragged me to win her back and so i was supportive) They got back together and in the span of that relationship for 3 years, the girl kept asking about what he was up to when they were on a clear break, and she was specifically asking about his first unofficial relationship, he said that he denied, lied, and shrugged it off multiple times.

Until just 2 months ago, he admitted to her everything, he also told that along with that girl, he flirted with bunch of other girls just to cope because he was truly devastated, I am the witness. But now, my son is asking me for an advice because of continuous harassment he is been receiving from his girl (verbal mostly), he said he is trying all his best but the girl feels disgusted and cheated on even if they were on a clear break.

I saw few cuts on his wrist and it is making me so worried, I saw it only today and I might’ve overlooked the fact that he keeps his hoodie on for a month now and that might be the reason.

Please give me an advice so I won’t mishandle this as his mom.

OP posts:
RoseField1 · 19/08/2026 08:11

Well he's learning a few lessons about honesty, which is normal at that age. He's also feeling stressed and unhappy and the self harm is also not uncommon as a coping strategy at that age. But it's not ok for his girlfriend to constantly berate him on the same issue - my advice to him if he were mine (and actually I've given mine similar advice) is that you need to have an open conversation where you take responsibility, but set out the boundary for the relationship going forward that she either forgives him and puts in behind them or they break up. Being perpetually punished for a transgression is a hugely toxic relationship dynamic. But he may ignore your advice because he's young and wr all have to learn these things the hard way really.

Nelly44 · 21/08/2026 01:44

How old is he now OP?

I think conversations with him about healthy relationships would be useful, then he can make up his own mind for what he wants to do with his relationship.

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