Autistic DD12 so anxious and overwhelmed all the time.

[PermanentlyExhaustedPigeonZZZ]

We moved house a couple of weeks ago, same town, closer to new school. DD is so snappy, stressed and overwhelmed. Walking on egg shells and DD9 is getting the brunt of it.

She's not sleeping (trying to give her less melatonin as we usually take a complete break over school hols).

I really had hoped she'd relax over the summer.

Solidarity or suggestions welcome.

If your dd is like this it isn’t the time to be trying to cut down on the melatonin (our ds is 14 and has autism etc, been on melatonin since he was 3, we never give him a break from it as he needs it, never been advised to either). So definitely go back to the melatonin.

A move is definitely going to unsettle her. What does she usually like to do?

Agree with PP re Melatonin. Everything has changed no school routine gone in the holidays and completely new home/ surroundings.
Would it be possible to focus on her room to create a bit of a sanctuary? Could she have a budget to buy some items to make her feel more at home? Bean bag, items in her favourite colours or a special interest theme. Are all of her things unpacked? I know it’s early days.

If you have used melatonin for years her body will be relying on it, seek professional advice about reduction. Lack of sleep plus moving is enough to make any child snappy even without autism.

My ASD DD of a similar age started pulling out her own hair when we moved, she was so disregulated.

We took it as the moment to get her some therapy. It made a big improvement, quite quickly. Helps if the ASD parent is able to cope well and regulate too - assuming they are around?

What’s the reason for reducing / stopping the Melatonin? Not doing that is the obvious first thing to do right now!

I also have a 12 year old Autistic DD.

We all know change is stressful for an Autistic person. To move house is absolutely massive.

How does she regulate?
How does she calm herself normally?
What does she enjoy?

Holidays, new school, hormones, to add in moving house plus reducing her melatonin, is a receipe for disaster.
Does she attend Cahms?

Solidarity. My teenager found holidays harder than term time some years. The lack of routine and structure was not conducive to her relaxing.
Has your DD been involved in making her space her own? Is her room a place she can go and be calm? Does she have any particular hobbies - occupying her time well might help with anxiety.
Don't feel the need to answer this question - but has she started her periods yet? Hormonal changes could also be part of the mood changes.

Breaks from routine are so, so hard for my daughter. Having a routine break AND a house move would be entirely overwhelming. I have never used melatonin (well, we trialled it and it didn't go well and she said she'd rather just sleep poorly), but if I had anything that would comfort her at this time I would go for it - dropping the melatonin at this particular moment seems like it would create more challenges for you all.

Is her room all set up for her? Does she have some quiet hiding space she can use?

11-12 was the worst for us (so far! my daughter is almost 14 so still years to go) - hormones etc was brutal and the change to high school even more so. It's calmer now but we have pretty good routines in. Summers are hard for sure.