Autistic daughter fixated on pregnancy and babies as a special interest

[BayZee]

She isn't pregnant. I don't think she has had her first kiss even. But her special interest has become pregnancy and babies. It started a couple of years ago when she watched Juno and she bought a test as a sort of prop to that film, as a joke. But since then she has bought more (she never opens them 🤣)

I'm quite relieved that she has no interest in any of the boys in her college, as far as I am aware the only people she has had a crush on so far have been a few female friends.

She doesn't really go out much and is quite reserved around people (complete hilarious nutcase at home in her own space)

I'm not worried about her getting pregnant as there is a crucial step missing obviously but all she talks about is babies and 'look at my belly' (sticking it out) 'wouldnt i be cute pregnant '

Tries to convince ME to have a baby 🤣 impossible.

She has asked for a digital test repeatedly (again she never opens them)

Have lately tried to push her into thinking about maybe going into childcare as a career if she has a drive to be around babies but her college course is Art based (i dont think she enjoys it much) and she has a year left on that. Not sure how that would flow.

I'm not sure exactly what it is I am asking here. Maybe if any other autistic girls have had this special interest and how you worked around it and dealt with it.

If she isn’t enjoying her course why can’t she change rather then do another year?

Is there any SEN support in college? Does she have an EHCP? Staff may be able to support with strategies or write a Social Story to address some of the issues.

Films and TV obviously can offer a sanitised version. Is she aware of the work involved sounds, smells etc? I’m thinking of sensory needs. I know you don’t think there’s a pregnancy risk.

I’d be trying to put a stop to buying the tests just a waste of money ( if you can)
Is she interested in childcare at all or does she just like the idea of caring for a baby of her own?

Did she play with baby dolls when younger? Do you think a realistic one would help or make the special interest worse. Any interest in a pet to care for?

Special interests are just that aren’t they? Fixations on things that NT may not understand. We end up having to police when they go too far. My DD’s is her friends and classmates, which is a shame as her fixation on them pushes them away at times. Before it has been clowns, tongues, farms and one very niche cartoon.

I would be very careful thinking it won't happen. My very autistic daughter had a baby last year, who was removed by social services and placed in a kinship foster care arrangement. It sadly does happen.

What about getting or hiring one of the baby simulators- the wake you up a night, cry etc etc. To really know what having a baby is like.
Its hard hard work.
Or a pet ? Something to care for.

Maybe 'isn't enjoying it' isn't the correct term. Its not the art subject she isn't enjoying, it's the learning environment, she was the same with highschool.

We went through LOTS of options whilst still in HS with help from the SEN team and this is what she settled on.

I don't think there would be a course on earth she would revel to attend.

My focus is on keeping her in college as a way to regulate her routine, keep her socialising and seeing her friends.

She has not said she doesn't want to do the next year, shes just not enthused. But never has been in an educational setting.

Definitely get her to change to child care! at my sons sen school they do child care for year 10/11 and it’s very popular! (May also put her off having one of her own for a few years at least!)

I'm not actually sure how she would react in real life! She is very smell adversive. We don't have any babies in the family at all.

She doesn't have an EHCP but she has SEN support.
The tests she has bought are just the poundshop ones so its not a huge waste but she still asks me to get her one in the middle of B&M which is quite stressful, got a few funny looks.

She had dolls but Disney ones, not babies.

Was it Homestuck? 😅🤣

She has some trauma around those issues and I don't think she would be ready for anything right now but I am not nieve. I was sexually active much younger and I am very present. She genuinely doesn't really venture out, outside college so I don't know when/how/with who it could happen.

@BayZeesadly not!

Have you considered seeing a child psychotherapist. Not pathologising her, she might have no interest in it, but in light of this reapose, OP, I wonder if this is less a typical ND special interest and more a symbolic attempt at communicating something complicated related to this? It's very typical of ND girls to communicate in ways that NT people just presume is down to ASD, and ignore the other aspects.

Have you considered getting a reborn doll?

I not sure why there are so many laughing emoji's in your posts OP? Its not really a funny, ha ha obsession is it? 😕

I agree, what support/counselling has she had for her 'trauma'? Even if she had some support years ago, I'd be getting more help now that she is older.
As others have said, possibly one of those dolls which wakes at all hours, needs changing etc 'might' put things into perspective. Or a Tamagotchi is they are still available?