Daughter and anxiety around performing (sports, school, etc)

[ViperActive]

Just wondered if anyone could relate or had any advice, 11 year old DD, quite an anxious child but found a dance/ gymnastics club she really really enjoys. However, they do shows now and then and it’s causing her anxiety and often she can’t get hold of her nerves when it comes to show time.
The 2 shows she has done, she has been sick afterwards and 1 of the times she didn’t even make it off stage.
She wants to continue and can’t understand why this is happening to her, she tells me she hates herself for it :(

[solsticelove]

Poor thing. All I think when I read your post is she loves the gymnastics and dance for its own sake and has no interest in performing. Presumably she’s being ‘forced’ to perform by the dance school?

It’s akin to me going to a yoga class as I enjoy it. I would not want to perform any of it on a stage in front of people!!

If it was me I’d be either finding her a less pressured dance school or asking if she can just enjoy the dancing without the shows. There’s no rule to say all people like performing just because they enjoy dancing.

[ViperActive]

We have discussed this and she wants to compete, she wants to be able to do it without the nerves affecting her

[Skintdancemum]

My dd has this exact same problem! We tried rescue remedy, obviously more placebo than anything, but it maybe helped a little bit!

im looking into what kind of therapy might help

[Skintdancemum]

@ViperActive did you have any success in finding ways to help your daughter?

[ViperActive]

Not really unfortunately, we haven’t had a show for awhile but the next one is coming up in April and she’s so nervous, she is doing some mindfulness and relaxation techniques

[Skintdancemum]

@ViperActive same here, we have one in May and desperately trying to find a way to ease the focus on awards and anxiety surrounding it!