Any help appreciated (Child struggling with periods)

[Darlo85]

Hi all,

I'm a single father and my 11 year old daughter started her periods a few months ago but they're so irregular it's having a real effect on her.

She is an outgoing confident little girl but now she hardly wants to go out and when she does she only wants to wear black.

I went to my GP who put her on the Pill three weeks ago but this has hardly had any effect and she's still bleeding.

The big issue we have is that the two of us are going on holiday during the Easter break at the end of the month and she's worried she won't be able to go swimming or that she will have a problem when away from home.

As a single father this is quite awkward. I'm trying to be as supportive as I can but bar reading online I have very limited knowledge.

I've bought her a pair of leak proof pants which she can put pads in to see if that will help but any other advice - especially on how we get through the vacation - would be appreciated.

Hi Darlo, . I didn't want to leave your post unanswered, but can reassure you this is all pretty normal.
Most dds are fairly self conscious while they get used to their bodies changing. It is also very normal for periods to be very irregular during the first year.
She can use tampons if she wants to, rather than a towel, which will enable her to swim if she gets her period on holiday, but, IME, neither of my dds wanted to - they just didn't feel confident enough to risk it at first.

What a lovely father you are. I suffered from the same at her and can tell you it was the most difficult thing I faced as a kid. 11 is quite young to start so the other girls won't all be "up to speed." I can totally imagine how awkward she must feel.

More than anything, confidence is central to that so feeling like she can "solve " the situation will help. Perhaps help her create a little make up bag with spare pants, pads, perfume (girls worry about the smell) and wipes - anything that'll make her feel clean. Make it so she can take it with her the whole time, it might even be a positive reason to buy her own Handbag (my mum used it as an excuse to tell me that's why women have handbags).

Assuming she isn't trying tampons just yet (though I'd advise her to as soon as she can as they're so much easier and the applicators are so simple) just so you know, you can buy waterproof pads now that she wear in the sea/water.

I understand that your a single father,but does she not have any female family members to talk to.?
Also her school would be able to provide support for her, I take it there are female teachers who she gets along with?

I'm in the US, where they have a product called Thinx - washable pants with a built in pad. Women wear them either alone or with a pad. She may want to wear those when she thinks a period may start, so she doesn't have to worry about leaking, or as a backup to a pad? I'm sure someone on here could tell you whether you can get similar in the UK.

Also, get her a range of pads to try (and maybe even tampons I'd she wants to). Tween style pads are cool looking but not really meant for heavier periods. I prefer a huge thick pad for the first day or so.

Vim,
I'm in London and haven't heard of them.

Firstly, just want to say it's great you're dedicated and concerning yourself with this so she's not going through it alone.

This is pretty normal, it's unfortunate that she's got irregular periods at the moment but these will likely even out. If she's in pain she can take paracetamol or neurofen do period pain relief range, doctors can prescribe other medication for pain or slowing down the flow though.

I agree with pp who suggested trying a range of towels and tampons to try out. She can swim with a tampon in, I'd recommend either buying a brand with a soft plastic applicator or you can buy ones without applicators which she may feel more comfortable to start with as applicators can be confusing for newbies. Make sure she reads the leaflet properly to follow the instructions.

She might find the info below helpful:
www.themix.org.uk/your-body/womens-health/periods-the-facts-7351.html

www.themix.org.uk/your-body/womens-health/using-tampons-7359.html

How did you get on with your easter break?

You sound like a great dad trying to find ways to help DD. When I was younger I had really heavy periods and had to use bigger towels and tampons. Get a female close to DD to talk her though the range of sanitary items there are so she can ask questions too. Make sure she's got a nice bag with her sanitary items in when out and make sure she's knows where toilets are. I remember my bag had Velcro when I was younger and I hated opening it as everyone would know what I was doing! If she feels she needs to wear black until she's got on top of this that's ok.