9yr old failing to get to sleep- any advice?

[Thethingswedoforlove]

Dd2 has been really struggling to get to sleep in recent weeks. Last night she was still awake at 1am. I can think of a couple of things which are on her mind but she doesn't think she is actively worrying about them. These include the loss of the most special friendship she has ever had (which lasted from age 2 to age 9) and the 11+ exam she is doing later this year (I wd be happy for her not to do it but her sibling already at grammar school and she capable of going there and desperate to join big sister so the thought of not doing the test makes her even more upset). Have a gp appointment for next week. Have tried laying beside her as she goes off but she can't sleep with anyone else in the room. Have tried a mindfulness app tune thing but it said 'brought to you by audible' v loudly at the end and ruined it all!! Any other ideas or suggestions- anything at all. We are so so desperate. Thank you

How about printing some mindfulness / meditation exercises specifically written for tweens and reading it to her while she stays in her bed, eyes closed, instead of the app.
I used to read a book to my DD when she was younger, the book is called Nightlights, by Anne Civardi, Kate Petty, Louisa Somerville. The book has a guided relaxation exercise at the beginning involving the child closing eyes and relaxing muscles and concentrating breathing. Followed by this exercise, I used to read her one of the stories in the book. By the end of the story she would be asleep, if not asleep yet just one more story. They are very short stories anyway. This book is aimed at kids up to 8 yrs old so it would be babyish for your dd but the idea is using relaxation exercises and perhaps she would find your voice reading to her, soothing.

You mention she can't sleep with anyone else in the room so perhaps you reading to her would not be a solution. In that case a different recording of mindfulness exercise without the loud bit in the end.
I also used to massage my DDs temples with light circular finger movements and she loved it.
She will be 12 and she still asks for temple massage from time to time.
Good luck.

A worry doll?

Thanks for these suggestions. I could try the book and also have considered editing down the app to get rid of the loud bit. Temple rubbjng is slmethjg we could try. If she is nearly off when we leave the room it might speed the whole process up....

What is a worry doll caindingle?

Might be worth trying just an ordinary audio book. This worked for ds when he was 10. He went through 6 weeks of therapy with CAMHS which helped not at all.
Audio books listened to through his IPod did the trick (and he still listens if he's having trouble sleeping, he doesn't tell me now though - as he's 22!)
Michael Murporgo 'Running Wild' is a good one, don't know who reads it but they have a very reassuring voice. They just stop at the end, sometimes a little light music.

Based on Indian legend that you confide your worries to the dolls and put them under you pillow at night and they take your worries away.

Amazon sell them.

Thank!you for these suggestions.

Am downloading running wild now. Thanks. And I will look into the book suggested above and the idea of a worry doll. Much appreciated.

What is she doing before she goes to bed?

There is some evidence that exposure to too much blue light, can interrupt sleep processes. So reading a printed word book rather than a kindle may help.

Thanks karoleann- already aware of that and she always reads proper books anyway....

Wanted to thank you total Confucius as the audio books thing has been amazing. Dd2 isn't falling asleep during the story but seems to be able to immediately afterwards. Has transformed our lives... thank you

How can you be ruby and Christine?
Strange post!

Reading/audio book/lavender spray on pillow/relaxing lavender bubble bath before bedtime/lavender body moisterisier/warm milk/cut out all caffeine before bed.. fizzy drinks etc/

I also have an overthinking 12 year old ds who struggles to get off to sleep.. a combo of these things have worked.. if you haven't tried physical exercise then try that too.. it's all about calming the mind and creating the right build up and environment for that to happen.. good luck