my 13 year olds depression and school refusal

[rachellovesherbabies]

Hi im in need of some advise it all started about 6 weeks ago my daughter came home from school covered in flour after being attacked on the bus by various bullies she broke down crying and shaking telling me all the things that have been going on i took her to the gp and he said not to send her back until school had sorted problems while there she told me and the doctor that she hated herself and has tried selfharming and shes hearing voices in her head all of which shocked me as i had no idea the doctor refered her to calhms i rang school exsplaining situation and they have since sorted the bullying out and she had a gradual return to school last week today was her first whole day she rang me 6 times crying she had a episode of just screaming in class i told her to come home at lunch time which she did she says there is no bullying but the anxiety and depression has stopped her being able to be there and learn she was physically sick and shaking at school i dont feel i can send her back if it causes this much upset ive booked hr into the gp on thurday morning and ive got the calhms coming round to see her at home on thurday afternoon (which i know im very lucky to get so quickly ) my daughter does not sleep at night so i dont either as i dont feel like she can be left alone due to fear of her self harming again she only feels safe with me and will only sleep in my arms but the voices wake her up telling her shes useless and everyone hates her ect just dont know what to do to help her any advise would be great and can a doctor give a medical note for depression and anxiety for children so i can get jher school to send work she works really well at home

Can you home educate instead?

Change schools?

Hi thanks for replys changing schools was an option but at the moment her mental health is not upto being in a school enviroment ive asked her this and she just says it wont change anything as everyone will stil hate her home education is what she wants but im not sure im able to do this as i suffer from ms and im wheelchair bound i cant gaurantee that im able to teach her everyday im hoping that the council might fund her a online school but as i say shes not ready as of yet and i have to wait for her to be off for 15 consecutive days to get any help to get ball rolling

At the moment, if you have camhs visiting, establishing what professional support they can give for her mental health is the most important thing.Not sure how old she is, but to keep her a bit occupied, I might get some bit of work from current school (if its gcses) and if she can distract herself iwth a couple of hours a day on a couple of key subjects it would be good. Assure her that the most important thing to get her the right help and you will help her. With letters from camhs, the LEA should get involved, and if she is under 16 its their responsiblity to get her through gcses, so they may have units, hospital schools or home education options. If she's too unwell to do work, try to keep a routine at home, or get her to draw, write in diaries, maybe cook or bake, things which she might enjoy while treatment is being sorted. Learning options can be put in place, but first make sure she is accessing therapeutic support and learning coping strategies for when she feels unsafe. Ask them about sleep support. My DD still takes melatonin. She missed over a year of school, but several years on is happily at university, so assure her that lots of teens struggle and its not just her and with the right help and support things will get better. good luck both of you.

Thank you for all your advise i will talk to them on thursday about it shes 13 almost 14 in year 9 at school ill also ask for work from school as she starts her options for gcses next year im hoping we can get the suport we need ive already started asking her to write a diary to help get her feelings out for her to actually sleep would be great ill ask them about this also great to hear your child is doing so well now xx

Hi There are lots of possible ways in which your daughter can access education while looking after her health. My son's been out of school for a while. Our LEA provides him with home tuition, 2 hours a day covering English, Maths & Science. His tutor is brilliant, she is very sympathetic and flexible to what he can handle. They have suggested that when he feels better they can start reintroducing him to school by having the home tuition in school, then he can start going part time then full time. He had home tuition last year that didn't work out so well. What made it work this time was we started by having a meeting at the school with the home tutor, the home tutor co-ordinator, my son's pastoral tutor at the school & the Senco. The tutor asked the school to get teachers to tell her what they were covering - and she even went in to shadow a lesson. Do not be afraid to ask for what you think will work best for your daughter. A good school will help you.