Help- have i just made a bad mistake? and could i get in trouble?

[bertolli]

Hi all,

My son is getting thumped daily by the same older boy in the play ground. He (apparently) always tells the teacher, but says they don't really do anything, it doesn't stop it happening again.

Anyway, my son pointed out this kid today on way out of school. Impulsively i went to speak to him to say please can he leave my son alone. And if not i will go directly to the Head. This was done in front of his grandad who was actually quite supportive of me.

Could a complaint now be made against me by his parent?

Feel sick.

Well his parents could complain about you to the school perhaps, but what would that mean to you? It is hardly a police matter, you only stopped to speak to him in front of his grandad.

I would stop worrying. But perhaps talking to the school would be a better move.

I don't know but I would certainly stand your ground. You weren't aggressive or abusive to him at all, and you had reason to do what you did ie frustration that nothing is being done. You only asked him to leave your DS alone and the grandfather was on your side which suggests you were very reasonable.

If there is any trouble at all I would defend yourself by saying you were entirely reasonable and it is not actually against the law to speak to another child at your DS's school in a reasonable manner.

You have done nothing wrong, please dont worry about it.

Make an appointment to talk to the head though that is the way to go

I would have advised talking to teacher/headteacher first, but having said that I din't think yoy have done anything really wrong.

-I had already spoken to school about it btw.

I think it sounds exactly what I would do, but do go to the head again.

Thanks all

I'm worried because i don't want to have made the situation worse.

Thanks Muffle yes good point, will say that!

At least the bully's grandad was reasonable.
Once i tried to talk to an 11yr old who had been bullying my then 5yr DD and i did not know which one was his mum, so i asked him 'Can i speak to your mum please'.
He ran off like a frightened rabbit, straight to his mum, who promptly got out of her car to 'Beat my face in!'
And then she got back in her car and raced off!
Bit of a strange one. Found out later that her son has always been bullying other kids and she was just fed up of dealing with it.
He left that July thank goodness!

Woah scarey Ripeberry!
I hate confrontation and have a bit of an idea this kids mum is a tough cookie too. How did you react?

Calm down, nothing bad is going to happen

You haven't done anything wrong

it's not illegal to speak to someone!

I hope the grandad and the parents follow it up and this child's behaviour improves.

I would speak to the class teacher or the Head as well though.

Thanks. Will just tell the teacher in the morning that i spoke to this child, yeah?

I would. Just to put the teacher in the picture and stave off any possibility of the boy or his family twisting things

But don't do it apologetically, you had every right to speak to him and didn't threaten him.

Tell the teacher you had a lovely, reasonable chat with the little darlings grandfather and it was very constructive.
That way you have gotten the first word in just incase there is the faintest possibility that the mum complains. If you had approched the child alone then I think there could be cause for concern. But otherwise I think you have every right to say something to whoever is supervising the child.
If it happens again you need to put something in writing to the head. People act more when there is something in writing.

Hope your son is OK

Thank you for your excellent advice and kindness

Also tell the teacher/head teacher that you want a letter written to the parents telling them that a parent has complained about their child and what the complaint is. they may not do it but at least you are asking for them to contact the parents and you have it in writing. Remember they don't want problems so cause some, being nice and letting the school get on with it their own way doesn't really get you anywhere.

I do not think that you have done something wrong to go and talk with the other boy who is bullying your son. I think I would have done the same but the best thing is to make an appointment with the head of school and talk to her about the problem.If you want to read about bullying and what you can do to help your son take a look at this site:
www.squidoo.com/backtoschool
Hope this helps!