My DS (6 yr) has been scratched by another boy - Do I tell the boy's mum?

[saggybits]

Or the teacher? The boy in question is pushy and physical with the other boys in the class. He has older brothers and probably thinks he's just being playful. Unfortunately, for my DS he often becomes a ragdoll for this other boy and is too shy to say "STOP IT". Do I tell the boy's mum or leave it until it happens again? Your wise words please.

I have this exact same problem - my DS was scratched down his chin with a comb & it has left the mark of the teeth of the comb for 3 days now. Yesterday the same boy hit him. I think I am going to call the head of his pre-prep department as it is tricky to speak to the teacher in private & DS doesn't want me to tell the teacher so I need to do it in secret. My DS wont stand up for himself either & I suppose children are more likely to listen to the teacher than their parents.

I have had this (see my other 4 yo headbutted thread) and I would recommend you put any concerns into writing to the school.

I would always say - don't bother with the parent, go straight to the teacher. If the bullying continues, go to the Head. My DD1 suffered bullying at school (not physical, but nonetheless v. upsetting) a few months ago and I delayed action. Once I saw the Head, she questioned why I had 'left it so long' to see her, and the bullying finished the very next day.

I initially approached the mother in a calm and non-confrontational way and was met with a tirade of verbal abuse for my trouble. Vowed there and then I would never bother going to the parent re: bullying in future.

Hope things work out for your DS.

xxx

If it happened at school, tell the teacher.

Tell the teacher. As CaroFromWtn found, the parent might not be approachable. The teacher needs to know this is happening, she/he should know how to stop it.

Yes, the incident happened during "carpet time". Thank you for all your support and I'll speak to the teacher this afternoon.

Def go through the teacher. The one and only time I've spoken directly to another mother about her child she threatened to hit me!!!

Most definitely speak to the Teacher and you may want to think about following it up with a letter, confirming what was said and agreed. This may seem a "bit over the top" but if it happens again, you have proof of when it all started.

abear It is horrible when your child is pleading with you "not to tell", to the extent that there's tears and upset, but the children have to be made to understand that unless the Teacher knows about it they can't do anything about it. The more the other child gets away with it, the more they will do.

I am guessing that your son is in Primary school and quite young? It is so hard for them to stand up for themselves at this age and the adults definitely have to give a helping hand.

If anyone is not sure how to deal with the school in cases where bullying is going on, I started a thread about it here

Thank you AJ2008 I think you make us all realise these things must be acted upon quickly.

As I am going through some of this with my own dc at the moment, I have realised it is best to err on the side of caution and inform the school, preferably in writing.

It strikes me that we parents are very often accused of being 'over protective' and all the bad things which supposedly stem from that.

Accusing parents of not being vigilant enough just doesn't seem to happen though