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Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

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Original poster

"you're so great" snigger snigger

13 replies

MrsSnape · 15/07/2008 14:51

I went to DS's opening afternoon yesterday and watched a boy who I know gives ds a hard time at school. Anyway as he walked past he whispered to DS "you're so great, you're so great" and then sniggered to some of the other kids who all laughed along .

DS is very naive and thinks they're having a laugh with him.

Am I being presumptius to suspect that this is a "teacher friendly" way of saying "you're so gay, you're so gay"?

They do call him gay othertimes so is the sneaky little sod saying this incase the teachers head?

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HumphreyCushioni · 15/07/2008 14:54

I don't know, MrsSnape.
But the sniggering and whispering is horrible behaviour.

It's so upsetting isn't it.
We went through all this with DS2.

WigWamBam · 15/07/2008 14:54

Is there any chance that someone has told the teacher that these boys are calling your son gay, they have claimed to be saying "great" and been let off, and now they are rubbing your ds' nose in it?

Have a word with the teachers. He shouldn't have to put up with this.

ShadowyMariaMiller · 15/07/2008 14:55

they did htis with YOU there?
blimey

KatieScarlett2833 · 15/07/2008 14:58

Teach your child an inappropriate response like "Do you fancy me or something, because you keep saying how great I am. Sorry, but you have no chance you ugly *** (insert vulgarity as appropriate)"

He's going to have to learn to deal with this, unfortunately, so the sooner he starts, the better.

Original poster

MrsSnape · 15/07/2008 15:02

yes the cocky little sh*t looked directly at me and laughed as he said it.

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Walnutshell · 15/07/2008 15:04

Did you give him the death stare?

Bink · 15/07/2008 15:25

Oh, your poor ds.

I'm afraid in your ds's case I don't agree with KatieScarlett's suggestion - a child who has difficulties handling "low level" bullying like this will end up completely out of their depth if they do anything to up the ante.

What I do with my ds (who, per your other thread, is I think not unlike yours) is try to teach him ways of being unaffected - to, eg, think of the annoying whisperer as wind, or rain, or a barking dog, or something that doesn't set off this horrible helpless rabbit-in-the-headlights victim sensation.

Have you looked on the bullying websites for ideas?

Bink · 15/07/2008 15:27

Oh - whether or not they're finding a way of taunting him without getting caught, they're definitely baiting him on purpose. So it doesn't really matter what they're saying - the intention is clear. Stinkers.

KatieScarlett2833 · 15/07/2008 15:29

Bink, feel free to disagree, different strokes, etc.

However, I would be interested to know if your strategy works. Is your child unaffected?

choccypig · 16/07/2008 10:52

Mrs Snape, feel free to shoot me down in flames, I can see this might seem a crazy theory, but could it be that your son is gay? You do hear of people who absolutely knew they were gay from very young.

It could be that he just IS different, not gay, but is worrying that he might be.

Either way, it may be helpful to him to emphsise how silly that "gay" is used as an insult, because some people are gay, and it is NOT A PROBLEM.

Original poster

MrsSnape · 16/07/2008 16:25

Choccypig, yes I think its a possibility, it certainly wouldn't suprise me and whenever I hear of people calling him gay I always say to him how stupid it is and then add "what if you were gay anyway? so what if you were?" and he always agrees but tries to change the subject. I don't know if thats because he's having problems dealing with it or because me talking about it embarrasses him.

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Ivegotaheadache · 17/07/2008 09:50

How old is your ds?

Totally agree with choccypig. If you do suspect that he might be gay, you could try and talk to him, maybe not about him being gay, but along the lines that some peopleuse gay as an insult beacause they are frightened of it or don't understand it and they are ignorant because people who happen to be gay are just like everyone else ect ect.

It would be good for him (if you do think he may be gay) to realise that you would be ok with it (I'm assuming you would be), and give him the confidence in himself to try and be who he is, the bullies may notice a difference in him and realise that they can't get to him.

Original poster

MrsSnape · 06/08/2008 13:33

My son is 9. I have always maintained that I have no problem with homosexuality...especially when I realised how 'he differed' from the the other boys but he always replies with "I don't mind gay people either, although I'm not gay". so I don't know...I don't want to keep on incase he isn't and he starts to realise I too think he's a bit .... erm ... camp? (is that a nasty word? you know what I mean).

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