year 5 son being bullied...

[TheStitchWitch]

..and his teacher has told him to ignore it.
I've been aware for a few weeks of some issues that my son is having with a child in his class, name calling, pushing, hitting all conveniently out of sight of an adult. Me and his dad have told him not to hit back and to tell his teacher, but the child doing the bullying cries to the teacher saying it's my son that's hit him.
I've spoken with his teacher and he says he'll speak to both boys and try to keep them separate, but I get the feeling he's sick of me going in, and I'm a nuisance.
My son came out of school last night in tears because he'd been in trouble with the teacher, for sticking up for himself, his bully had kicked him and punched him in the ribs and my son snapped and hit back, the bully has walked away again with no punishment, where my son has lost golden time.
I know it must be very frustrating for the teacher, but no more frustrating and upsetting than it is for my son not being believed. He's such a sensitive and kind boy and he hates violence and confrontation. He's cried on the way to school this morning because he doesn't want to go, I feel so helpless.

I get the feeling he's sick of me going in, and I'm a nuisance.

Well, there's an easy way for the teacher to stop that, isn't there? He could always deal with the fundamental problem.

Don't worry about making yourself a pain. In fact, take pride in it! It sounds like the difficulty is that the boy who has a problem with your son is good at being sneaky. Where that is an issue, then greater supervision is needed. I think if you've tried on a number of occasions with the class teacher and it's made no difference, then it's time to make an appointment with the Head Teacher.

Thanks pippistrelle.
I've decided to keep a diary of all instances of bullying before I approach the headmaster, due to a previous encounter with him I'm not very confident that he'll be much help. I actually feel sick with worry, I really hope that today's been better for my son.

Teachers seldom handle bullying well or quickly and seem to have a blind spot when it comes to who is the perpetrator and who is the victim.
Teachers may have concious or sub-concious reasons for not acting on bullying as they should. Maybe this teacher is friendly with parents of the bully or maybe teacher simply prefers bully for some reason. Teachers are not angels and are subject to human frailty. So dont whatever you do back down and worry about being a nuisance. Your son has been entrusted to you and depends on you to do your utmost to protect him and enable him to fulfil his potential. If you dont help him...then who will? Also dont discourage him from defending himself or sticking up for himself. You would not tolerate someone hitting you at work or shouting abuse at you...so why should he? So you need to stand up for him and also encourage, not discourage him to stand up for himself and that you will always back him up and take his side. Rest assured, the other parent (of the bully) will do that.