Should we move our son to a different school.

[Scottie19]

Our son is 10years old and is working with CALMS but still wants to kill himself as he says he cant take it anymore. He says he doesn't have any friends and he cant cope with the comments kids make. He's told them being left out and the butt of jokes is really distressing him. Do we just tell him that he has to accept having no friends O do we take a chance and move schools. I have secondary progressive Multiple Sclerosis and the stain is making my symptoms worse and my son is blaming himself for it. I know there are lots of families out there dealing with horrendous situations but I dont know how long we can go on like this. Supporting everyone in the family is straining my own mental health. Any advice...please,please,please.

Move him ASAP, listen to what he's saying and act fast

I would contact schools with spaces and go and view them with your DS and see how he feels about them and ask for support with settling him in.

Will he go to the same Secondary school as the bullies or can you avoid so that he gets a lovely fresh start for his future?

What on earth are the school doing??!! I'm assuming he's in primary 6 or 7.

This sort of thing makes me mad - every school by now should have an anti-bullying policy that should be implemented when bullying rears its ugly head. At the very least his teacher should know what is going on and be giving your DS support.

I recently moved DD to another school - quickly followed by 3 other class mates - although she wasn't bullied the stress of another being bullied got to her - her stock saying is "why aren't they (the teachers) doing anything?"
She would list things they could do - ring parents detention write lines etc -

She's settled and a lot happier now

Going to add - DD1 was bullied and I should have moved her - but there was only 6 months left - with hind sight 6 months of feck all being done was the worse decision I have ever made -

It might not work - but there's a good chance it will - and let's face it - it can't be any worse !!

So sorry to hear that. I really hate bully kids. Their parents should have taught them that hurting other people's feelings are not nice. The parents are the one to blame here. I think I might agree with them. You can move your son to other schools. Maybe he can make friends over there. I just hope all well with your family.

As you surely know, your DS is your responsibility and he looks to you to protect him and keep him safe from harm, be that at school or anywhere else.

The decision as to whether he should remain in his present school is no longer available. It has been made for you, since there is nothing whatsoever to gain by his remaining in the present one. You reached the moving stage some time ago by all accounts. As a result of having a parent with health issues, your DS will be affected and bullies will home in on this like wasps to honey unless the school he goes to are on top of things and have a true handle on bullying.

Dont blame anyone but the bullies, their parents and the rotten staff that have allowed things to get to this stage. Your DS has already been psychologically damaged if he is making statements relating to self harm or suicide (kids are naturally happy and optimistic) You should take him out of school TODAY and never send him back. PROMISE him you will never send him back. I dont know about your home situation, but if home schooling is a possibility, supplemented by extra-curricular groups like sports, cubs/scouts or cadets, that may be a good option. It is better to be a bit behind but have confidence and self-esteem rather than the other way round. There are plenty of opportunities for confident, happy people, but very few for those who are depressed or have been mentally destroyed by bullies.

Give him jobs and responsibilities at home as this helps build self-worth and confidence. Also make sure home is free from anger from anyone and make home as happy and 'safe' a place as possible for DS.

Some ideas for recovery...which will take time

1. Promise never to let this happen again and if bullying starts set a time limit of weeks not months or years for it to be fully stopped before taking him out.
2. Have him seen by a child psychologist
3. Give him jobs and responsibilities at home etc to help build his self worth and confidence
4. Get him out after school to cubs/scouts, cadets, sports, music, chess whatever his interests so he has an alternate group of friends who share interests
5. Uproot all anger from the home...if there is any...and make sure the home remains a happy, safe (emotionally) place to behich takes time