My son is being bullied... awkward situation?

[mrsfleming2be]

Hoping I might be able to get some help and advice on bullying.

My 7 year old seems to be getting bullied at school, I would probably not have hesitated in calling the school however the bully is my best friends son.

DS came home very upset on wed and said he had been kicked by the boy at the school gates at hometime, he had a visible bruise on his knee which he showed me, he said the reaction of the bully was to stand with his friends and laugh at him.

DS said the next day at school the bully approached him and asked him if he wanted the same again. And there have been a few other incidents.

My son seems to be a bit of a softie and I've asked him to try and stand up for himself as bully's only pick on the easy targets but easier said than done as it doesn't seem to be his nature. But it's horrible to see your child worried and upset and not wanting to go to school.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

I would go in to the school and speak with the teacher.
Explain the situation and ask what their course of action will be.
You then have the option of allowing the school to deal with it or speaking directly with your friend and working it out that way.

I would be mortified if it was my son and I would want the opportunity to deal with it and keep my friendship. However I am quite laid back and do not defend my Dc's to the hilt in these situations as I know what my children can be like but some parents would not accept what your saying and you could loose the friendship anyway.

You know your friend best, would she accept what you say and deal with her son or do you think she would defend him?

Talk to his teacher. We had a situation like this in our class and the teacher did a special talk with the whole class on bullying and respect.

If your friend is a good one I would also have a chat with her over a coffee. If this was my son I would want to know.

TBH as much as I love my friend she is very laid back and I have seen another incidence when shoeing approached her over her daughters bullying and she seemed angry that the matter had even been raised, very much "my child wouldn't do that"

I have a meeting with the head teacher later in the week regarding my younger son starting the early years centre at the school so I might raise the subject with her then.

Thanks for the replies folks. x

**someone

Hope it goes well OP.

Please, please talk to the school, your son needs you. You are not making a fuss or being a difficult mother, you are a caring parent who wants to make sure this bullying is stopped. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes and your son is not being a 'softie'. Put your son first before your friendship with the bully's mother.

I was bullied at school and I have never, ever forgotten how it felt (and it was over 45 year ago).

I had this with ds2 - when he and his best friend went up to senior school, the friend joined in with bullying ds2 - and when I raised it with his mum (my best friend), and told her some of the things her son had called mine, she asked her son about it and when he denied it, she said, 'Well - my son wouldn't lie' - clearly implying that mine would!

I understand why she felt she had to back up her own son, but of the two of them, who had most to gain by lying about the bullying? In my mind, it was her son - he'd have got into trouble if he'd admitted to the bullying.

It did sour our relationship, and the friendship between the boys pretty much ended too. We are still in touch - we live hundreds of miles away now, so it is much easier - and when she and her son came up to stay, things were OK between the boys (I did make sure ds2 was OK with the boy coming to stay, and as he'd apologised to ds2 for the bullying, ds2 was OK with it), but the relationship is not ever going to be the same.