trying to BF 3 day old, to no avail - any advice welcome to keep me away from formula!

[arolf]

brought DS home from the hospital yesterday, where he had been feeding ok, latching on fine, feeding for 10-15 minutes on each side every 2-3 hours.

However, he has only had 1 wet nappy since we got him home, and is not happy about feeding, instead just screaming at my breasts until he turns himself purple. He did feed a few times during the night, but it was painful, and he kept coming off the breast for a scream. He seems incredibly gassy too, so we're winding him between feeds. I'm trying skin to skin, and feeding him lying on my side in bed, or sitting upright with either corss-body or rugby ball holds.

DP and I are not sure what to do (first baby...), and I'm worried about DS getting dehydrated more than anything else. I'm suggesting we try one bottle of formula just to make sure he's getting some fluids, DP is being incredibly supportive of BF though, and is encouraging me to wait until we've seen the midwife later today.

Anyway, if anyone has any advice on getting him calmed down and feeding properly, it'd be very welcome! thanks!

Has your milk just come in? I seem to remember my DSs struggling once my milk came in properly and my nipples got a lot harder for them to latch onto. Perhaps try hand expressing a bit of milk first. If you manage to hand express, you can feed him some with a cup or on a spoon (to avoid nipple confusion).

Wait until you've seen the midwife, I'd say. Hopefully Tiktok's about?

If you're still producing colostrum, they don't need much...

Hi arolf. I remember those first few days all too well! Am sure tiktok or one of the experts will be along soon but I didn't want to let your post go without saying hello.

It sounds like you are doing every thing right so far, the skin to skin etc. Are you trying to feed often?

If you are worried about dehydration, you could try cup feeding some of your colustrum (hand express this) or some formula. I wouldn't give him a bottle if you want to BF, but babies will drink from a little cup. You place the cup to his lip, don't pour it, but he will just take the milk, a bit like a cat lapping at their milk. He'll only need a bit and you still need to put him to your breast as much as possible to stimulate your supply. Has your milk come in yet?

I had the same worries with DS2 (no wet nappies) when I was trying so hard to get BF established and on day 5 we ended up being readmitted as he was dehydrated.

Congratulations BTW to you and your DH.

not yet - but think it may be starting to. we may try expressing later, but have no bottles or anything in the house, or pump, as I was so determined to BF!

I am fairly busty too, meant to say that - but am shaping my nipples for him to latch on, and when he does latch he seems ok for a while. it's getting him to feed anough and not just scream himself into a state that I'm really concerned about!

Try white noise (hairdryer/radio static or similar) to calm him. Worked a treat for us.

I remember it being a bit of a struggle until the milk comes in - and brace yourself, it can be hard work for up the first 6 weeks. Getting B/f established can be much harder than you ever imagined it should be - but it is so worth sticking with it.

Get your m/w to check your positioning and latch and/or call one of the B/F support networks. It could be that he's had enough - the amount of colostrum they take is tiny - and he's getting cross about being asked to relatch.

It does need both of you to get used to it - he may just need time to get the hang of it.

Good luck and hold in there.

He sounds like he is doing what my DS was doing. I was putting him on my breast on average every 90 mins. My milk never really "came in" like the books say they did and he was just trying to tell me, look mum there's nowt there!! He settled well with 20mls of formula that we gave him via a syringe (like the ones in first aid kits) but he had still lost over 1 lb 9 oz in the first five days and so we got sent back in. ANyway, your midwife will check your latch for you. Just keep putting him on, once your milk arrives, he may settle down.

have a bath together and then back to bed for more skin to skin. when is mw coming?

thanks so much for the advice - ladyhelen, it does sound like you had a similar situation to us - hopefully DS will feed well soon so we're not back in hospital anytime soon. He's now fallen fast asleep on DP so we daren't wake him just now!!

fishie - I'm still far too shaky for a bath, can't really move around much, and getting very woozy even just going slowly upstairs - but will try that once I'm up to it. not sure how he'd take to a bath!! no ida when mw is coming, but we were told she'd call and come round today. will call her if no contsct by 10 am.

clean and clothed - will try that if he gets himself worked up into a tizzy again, I have heard of it before, so will def. try it!
duchess - thanks - it's good to hear it gets better!

Whatever calms your baby - do it

I think it's good the midwife is coming.

There is no reason to assume your baby is upset 'cos of what is/isn't in your breasts. Babies are not really very hungry at this point - they cry because something doesnt feel right to them, and this could be anything. Skin to skin cuddles, tucking him up next to the breast, not fighting with him to get on the breast ('cos that makes it a whole lot worse) and just letting him know by your voice, your gentle touch and your warm body that you are there and life is good.

A bottle of formula is neither necessary nor helpful really....but do get the mw to observe a feed.

You can hand express colostrum and give it on a spoon and this might address your concerns about fluids.

Has anyone pushed his head onto the breast? If so this might be making him reluctant. You can try biological nurturing/self attachment (google it) and this often works brilliantly. In any case, try biological nurturing anyway (it's just a way of the baby getting on the breast - nothing complex!).

My DS was a little like that at first. I gave up BF after expressing for a month, and really wish I had persevered
Sounds like he may be an impatient baby wanting a faster flow, or struggling a bit with TOO fast a flow if your milk is coming in. And the wind could be annoying him - don't assume its your boobs as it sounds like you are doing everything right. Great that the MW is popping round today so you can ask her questions, and getting her to observe a feed is good too.

I had a VERY windy baby, it was amazing. After a while we developed many varied techniques for burping. Sometimes you woud think "he must be done now" and then he would give a terrific belch! Bathing him in a Tummy Tub brought the wind up wonderfully, something to do with him sitting up straight. Little babies tend to slump and hold onto their wind... mine was very reluctant to give his up
Anyway,just to say if you do think it could be wind that is causing him to scream (because his tummy is full of air and no room for milk, or hes just uncomfy) at feeds, there is a lot of wisdom on MN about burping/winding littlies, just have a quick search.

It will get easier, you are doing really well! Congratulations on your lovely new baby boy.

thanks all - got him feeding for an hour earlier! mw is coming back on thurs to weigh him, so will reassess dehydration worries then. for now she says he looks fine!

arolf just wondered how you and your DS are getting on?

thanks ladyhelen - he seems fine now, is feeding ok, although still screaming like mad when i try and feed him during the night. he's had plenty of wet nappies and a couple of explosively dirty ones since tuesday, so we're feeling a bit better about him! plus my milk has come in, so i'm less worried about him getting dehydrated.

it was really great to have advice and support on here so quickly!

Am really glad! SOunds like everything going well. Hope you are managing to get some sleep too.

And congratulations again!