want to stop bfing my 2 year old ds - help please!

[tummytickler]

I really want to stop bfing my 2 year old ds - he is only just 2 and i thought i would let him self wean, but he is still feeding every time i sit down, and it is time for me now i think.
I just sont know how to do it? We have never had a routine so i can't cut out certain feeds as he is in the habit of helping himself as and when, he just puls my top down, boobs out of the bra and thats it, i have always fed on demand, so where do i go from here?
Dh and i went away for the weekend last week and ds stayed with my parents. I had hoped that 3 days and 2 nights without bfing might be what he needed to quit, but he is just as keen.
He seems happy to go without at nursery or at my parents, and drinks form a proper cup there and at home sometmes, and i have been offering milk or water when he wants to bf, but this rarely works.
I think he would be upset if i just refused, and i am about to start a job which means working 2 13 hour shifts a week (on a Maternity ward, helping women bf), when i had my jabs the occ health said i should give up as when she was a midwife she couldnt do both! not helpful either!
Sorry for the waffle - any advice really welcome - am i just stuck with letting him self wean - at the moment (on 8+ feeds a day) it doesn't seem to be on the horizon.

I know how you feel and when you manage to stop bfing you'll feel so pleased with what you've achieved (especially as it's hard work!) I feel so proud that I fed to 2 1/2 and gave dd's health the best start.

In my experience, simply refusing will indeed just cause upset and a feeling your ds is being rejected. I had tried never offering to dd but like your ds, she would happily feed loads anyway so I wasn't really cutting back.

For me, 6 weeks ago I started to feel exhausted and unwell (and may have had a virus as really felt I couldn't face bfding any more) so I just told dd I wasn't well when she tried to bfeed. To my astonishment, she instantly stopped trying - and never bfed again as I just had to remind her I wasn't well when she tried again later. Not once did she cry, she just kissed me and tried to make me better and i gave her huge hugs instead/ offered her water etc. (and this was a girl who had bfed at night and whenever she wanted(. This may have been really unusual and also she was 6 months older which is a difference. But I'd certainly never managed to leave her for a night as you had so in that sense your ds sounds more independent.

The only problem we had was that the change may have been too sudden for dd's digestive system and she's had problems from exactly the time she stopped bfding (diarrhea/ really bloated painful tummy for weeks) and because of the timing I'm convinced it's related. So I'm sure gentler weaning is safer/ kinder.

I hope it's useful to hear my experience of giving up but sorry if it doesn't help in your situation. I never thought dd would cope for another year at least, and certainly not without tears

I am in the same position - no real routine but I am ready to stop bfing my 21 month old now...don't mind one or 2 a day, but it's loads more than that and I just want to sleep through the night!

Does anyone have advice on how to do it not too suddenly? Would love to have stopped by Christmas...

Well we started by night weaning a couple of weeks ago. Try the No Cry Sleep Solution or jay gordon www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp's website.
He's still looking for a feed when he wakes but accepts he's not having one fairly readily.
Not in a rush to stop in the day, DS is onloy 14mo, but couldn't bear the all-night grazing any more.
Good luck

Sorry, here's the link:
www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Oh, bugger it. HERE's the link:
www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

There's a book, can't remember author, called 'How Weaning Happens'. It's a LLL publication. It might help?

Maybe also try 'don't offer don't refuse.' or distracting and lengthening time between nursings. Some people find just not sitting down (i know but they will pounce as soon as you do) in their sight for a few weeks works.

Hope something in that helps.

Or you could come join us on the extended BF thread

On the work front - I know a few people who are nurses and BF older (30 months or so) babies. They work similar shifts and find it works fine. They also find it's a lovely way to reconnect with Their DC when they get home. So if the MW's comment is the main factor don't worry too much.
You might find he naturally settles down once you're at work.