Want to stop breastfeeding at 12 months. That's in just a little over a month from now...

[star6]

I know lots of people disagree with doing this, but I need to stop at 12 months. I've stopped the daytime feed so I give him morning and evening feeds only. Problem is, DS (nearly 11 months) has been waking at 3am for an extra feed for a couple of months now.

We give him our ebm from our big stock in the freezer during the day as he wants it, too.

I'm confused. How much milk should he have in a day? He has 3 meals and snacks in between. He gets a very healthy and balanced vegetarian diet. If I drop say, the night feed, do I need to give him ebm in a bottle in place of it? Or do I just drop the feed altogether?

I have also had mastitis 4 times. I don't want it again. I'm almost scared to just drop a feed so quickly. Dropping day feeds happened gradually VERY gradually. DS is also NOT one of those babies who is going to suddenly become disinterested in bf... if he does, I'll post and say that I was wrong...

The HV told me today that food makes up for milk feeds that are dropped? But I thought they needed a certain amount of milk until 12 months?

And how much milk do they need after 12 months (cows milk then?) And can I choose to give him rice milk or oat milk (home made without sugar) instead of cow's milk or will he not get the same nutrients?

Sorry... loads of questions here and it's kind of a big ramble... thanks in advance for any advice

sorry, just re - read... it's MY ebm, not ours in OUR freezer... ha! DH is NOT helping me produce ebm for freezing

I would say you need to drop the night feed before any of the day ones. I wouldnt replace it with anything tbh - just give hime more breakfast in the morning and go in and comfort in the usual way when he wakes up...

My 15 month-old (we have just stopped bf) has breakfast first thing and a snack midmorning - fruit or whatever, then lunch, a midafternoon cows milk drink in a sippy cup - usually about half a tommy tippee then dinner and another half a tommy tippee to bed.

I have never been that keen on giving my dcs loads of milk as they get lots of dairy products in other ways.

Dont know about the other types of milk - they sound expensive to me and I'm notoriously tightfisted...

Could you perhaps try replacing the night BF with water? That's what I did - picked him up but offered a beaker of water instead of a feed. He fell asleep on his own after a few mins - still woke up in the night for a few weeks, but didn't ask for a BF.

I don't have any advice to offer on any of your other points though, sorry! My DS just dropped one feed at a time fairly easily. Distraction worked for us.

i would say he has prob started the night feed because he wants to feed from you and isn't getting it so much during the day.

there is no reason why you shouldn't cut out the night feed if you want to, but just be extra aware of his needs for milk during the day and perhaps offer him an exrta bottle of ebm

if he has other sources of calcium then there is no need to offer cow's milk if you don't want to.,

ds2 is intolerant to dairy and has none at all in his diet, but we buy fortified oat milk which has the same calcium content as regular milk
i wouldn't make my own because it doesn't have the calcium in then.
most oat/rice/soya milks do not have sugar added to them anyway unless they are sold as "sweetened" versions

gks - thanks, that makes me feel better. So they don't need loads of milk still... good. Less worry for me, then!

ExtraFancy - I've tried offering water from a bottle - wouldn't take a cup in a drowsy state. He wasn't keen, just kept thrusting his mouth at my breast ... but I may just try that again.
When he dropped a feed, what did you do when you produced milk for that feed? Did your body just cope with it?

thisisyesterday - what is the brand name of the oatmilk you buy? I went to tesco and only found sweetened ones.
I want to cut out the night feed because I'm teaching and I'm exhausted when he wakes for this looooong feed at 3am - from both sides, sometimes then a 3rd, for about an hour.

star6 - I think they dont need loads of milk if they are eating lots of a varied diet no - especially oily fish as the calcium is much easily absorbed.

Mine would never take water at night - it woke them up more and made them cross.

when I dropped to 2 feeds a day I had noticeably loads less milk - I could only express 1oz for example and although there was still a strong letdown it didnt feel the same as before.

I dropped the feeds by feeding some days and not others - useful as I could go out in the evening as well or have a lie-in, then truth be told we went on honeymoon to Venice and left dd with grandma and she was absolutely fine - a bit clingy the week afterwards but perfectly happy with food instead. I took my pump with me and pumped off 1oz as I had a blocked duct when I finished but that went with pumping and massaging within a couple of days.

star6 btw to cut out the night feed I would make sure you're really feeding him up in the day as thisisyesterday says.

Maybe you should do a timed withdrawal as hes having so much - so only 15 mins for a few days, then 10 etc

TBH I don't think I was producing very much milk by the time we stopped (from 14-18 months, one feed at a time). I didn't really have any problems with engorgement - I don't think he was having anywhere near a full feed.

Agree with extrafancy - my dd was sort of taking the letdown and then losing interest and wandering off.

we use oatly

have you considered going back to breastfeeding during the day to see if that stops him needing it at night?

thanks so much for all of your replies! It is very helpful. I fell asleep last night, so didn't see them until this morning! I work during the day But I have to and I love my job (I'm a teacher of young children). So feeding during the day isn't really an option. I did over the summer, but not as possible now.

thisisyesterday - Thanks for that. I see I can get that at tesco I think it was salt, not sugar that was added to it. I looked and it says only .05g of salt. So it's still ok for babies, right? I have this ridiculous salt phobia. We don't even have salt in our home (other than the LOADS that is already IN food!)

yes, it's fine for them afaik!