Sucky newborn and sleep deprivation

[cornflakegirl]

My DS2 is 3 days old and was really sucky last night - wouldn't settle without either a nipple or a finger in his mouth. Eventually we went with cosleeping so that he could latch on and settle, but I still have SPD symptoms, and so holding that position so he can stay latched is really uncomfortable, and I couldn't do much more than doze. At about 5am I woke him for a nappy change and a proper feed, and after that he did go down in his moses basket, so I could grab a couple of hours proper sleep.

I'm wondering whether to buy a dummy (and if so, what sort) to encourage the chances of settling him in his moses basket. (He did seem to be just needing to suck rather than actually feed.) Is that a really bad idea? If it is, is there a better way that I can do the cosleeping that involves some actual sleep for me?

He's still very tiny - I really wouldn't think about a dummy until feeding is properly established. I'm afraid the sucking is necessary to get your milk supply working properly. It will get easier, I promise!

Have you tried feeding lying down? It makes co-sleeping so much easier if you can get the hang of it.

get him a dummy and get some sleep. If he's sucky, and for health reasons you cannot let him suck the 22 hours out of 24 that sucky babies demand, this could be a life saver.

Honestly, colditz, not at 3 days old. That's such an important time for establishing milk production......

sympathies! my first and last were soooo sucky at that age, but i was formula-feeding so out came the dummy.

sympathies! my first and last were soooo sucky at that age, but i was formula-feeding so out came the dummy.

seeker - he latches okay lying down, but he really wasn't feeding - very half-hearted, infrequent swallowing etc. I didn't want to do the 5am feed lying down because I wanted to make sure he was really alert first.

The main problem with the cosleeping is just that it really hurts my pelvis. I can't seem to find a position where I'm at the right angle for him to latch that doesn't put pressure on my hips in all the wrong places. I used a pillow between my knees, but that only provided limited relief.

Just to clarify - he'd fed solidly from about 20.30 to 23.00, so I'm not trying to stop him cluster feeding. The sucking after that was very sleepy comfort sucking, rather than hunger. He was just as happy sucking my finger. Not that that was particularly helpful - I was just trying to establish what the problem was.

Expat - thanks for the sympathy!

Oh and Colditz - yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Just really don't want to stuff up breastfeeding.

Hi! Congratulations on your new baby! IMO, the behaviour you describe is what tiny babies DO, there is nothing unusual about your baby-he's learning how to do things and wants to snuggle up and be comforted/feed occasionally and he doesn't know what time it is! I think that part of our job as Mums is to comfort our babies. It's such an early stage for you two and I KNOW how tired/uncomfortable you are, but IMO all this is part of establishing your BF and developing the bond between you and your baby. Breast Feeding is NOT just about feeding.... There is a recent thread on this called "do we set new mums up to fail with BF" (or something like that) that you may want to read. HTH.

What about if you lie on your back and he sleeps across you?

I breastfed DS1 for nearly 4 years so I know that it's not just about nutrition. He was very sleepy in the early days though so I don't have any experience of this kind of thing. I also didn't have the pelvic pain last time.

Tbh, last night did nothing to help me bond with DS2. I was extremely tired and hormonal, tearful, and in a fair amount of pain. So just being told to suck it up isn't that helpful. Sorry that sounds so defensive.

saintmaybe is it safe for him to sleep on me? I was very tempted to just sleep on the sofa last night with him on me, but didn't because of the SIDS risk. Hadn't even considered doing the same thing in bed...

Well, I'm sure there's someone on here with more expert knowledge, but all my 3 seemed to spend most of the first couple of weeks sleeping on my chest; they just all needed skin-to-skin to settle and sleep.

Aw, sleep deprivation's just the pits, isn't it? Just remember it's such early days, this is always a crazy time and it will pass, it will pass. And hopefully the spd will start to get better soon as your hormones change too.

Is your milk in yet? You may find that he is not so desperate to suck once he is getting milk.

I really would hold off on the dummy if you possibly can.

Congratulations btw.

mawbroon - my milk came in on saturday night, but I was quite engorged most of sunday so he may not have adjusted to the change.

saintmaybe - will look into it more. sleep deprivation is indeed rubbish!

Well, last night was rubbish too - I tried cosleeping for about 1.5 hours until my back and hips couldn't take it any more, and then resorted to the dummy. It worked well, so we all got some much needed sleep, and DS2 has been feeding well today.

I rang the breastfeeding helpline this morning and spoke to a counsellor who reckoned that a dummy was probably the most pragmatic solution for us, and that because DS2 is feeding lots and well the rest of the time, we should be okay. She suggested trying swaddling, so we'll do that, and also keep trying the cosleeping to restrict the dummy use to a minimum.

Thanks for all your help.