Please someone help - I'm a pain i know but i'm feeling really crappy now..

[mamakim]

Me again, as you know 14 week old dd has been feeding every 2 hours for a week now (from 4 hourly in day 7 at night). Anyway..

Now everytime i feed her (on demand, 2 hourly) she sucks for 30 seconds, then pulls off.. this happens for 5 mins until i give up, she screams and then settles with dummy (or not) for a while.

This afternoon dh's mum and dad came round, we went for sunday lunch, dd was hungry, tried to feed her, she did the above, screamed thoughout lunch (dribbling like crazy - teeth??)...

..Came home fed her with slightly more success, put her down for a sleep, she slept for 10 mins woke up seeming hungry. Seeing my stress dh offered to give her a bottle of ebm. He gave her 3 ounces, she had it quicker than my 2 year old can, then screamed.. then had another 4 ounces, then screamed but managed to sort of settle her.

I've bf her and put her in her moses now and having a glass of rose (and a cry) what shall i do? I feel like i'm starving her? She's obviouls ravenous and i feel like a failure to her. I feel like giving her a big bottle of formula when she wakes - but i know i'll feel tterrible.

I wanted to bf for a year and i certainly didn't want to stop when i felt like this.

You're not a pain! Definately sounds like teething- my son was just the same from about 11 weeks on, fussing and refusing to feed but hungry and in need of comfort at the same time. So frustrating.

Try treating the teething in whatever way you think- we tried everything and the only thing that seemed to help DS was painkillers in the end. I know not everyone is into doling out the calpol regularly so try homeopathic teething powders/ chilled teething ring/ anbesol or bonjela if you want to avoid meds.

And don't panic, you'll find a solution to this whatever is causing her fussiness. If you don't get the answers you need here try the La Leche League helpline 0845 120 2918. I spent a lot of time on the phone to them when DS was little!

Thanks Hairy. I just feel so down now. I feel like it was all going so well and i'm just letting her down now. I should probably just give her a big bottle of formula. She might actually settle then. Hope it is teething and not that i am starving her.

Hi mamakim, my dd2 went through this. She got her teeth early - first 2 at 11 weeks and has 8 now at 9 months. I think hairy is right - sometimes when they are in pain it is necessary to give pain relief. I was very hesitant to do this with dd1 but dd2 suffered so much that it seemed the fairest thing to do.
Also when she was really struggling with teething she would feed better when just falling asleep or just waking so I would feed her lying down in bed. This meant she got a nice big feed and it helped her sleep too.

You are not letting her down- whatever is causing her to fuss is not your fault. If she's started feeding more frequently then she's probably having a growth spurt. This, combined with teething, is going to make for a fussy, unsettled and seemingly ravenous baby.

Apologies if this is patronising/ you already know but....the fact that she's feeding more often doesn't mean that you're starving her, she just needs to fully empty the breasts to increase the supply to meet her growing needs. It's tiring and frustrating but it's just the way our boobs were made. If you can make it through the next couple of days things should settle down, growth spurts usually last about a week IME.

If her weight gain generally has been ok, don't worry about her being starving- she's unlikely to need the formula. Really no need to feel terrible if you do give her a bottle though!

See if treating the teething settles her. The frequent feeding may well settle down in the next few days. If it doesn't and you're struggling to cope, post again and we'll see what's what.

HTH

It sounds as though she has earache or is teething or something else causing her pain/discomfort when she nurses (these are often not so bad when taking a bottle). You're definitely not starving her.

I would be inclined to try Calpol (or better still infant ibuprofen, if she is allowed it at 14 weeks) 20 minutes before a feed and see if that improves matters at all.

Mine went through a real growth spurt at around this time.

THey go through funny phases from time to time without rhyme nor reason.

Hi all, thanks for the messages. Still no better. Had the afternoon from hell with her and her 2 yr old brother driving me crazy. He was terrorising me while she was constantly feeding (or not as the case actually was - she just did her feed,pull off, cry, feed etc, still seemed ravenous) ALL afternoon.

Dh gave her a bottle of ebm when he got home from work to find me crying at my wits end at 6.30 which she happily took. ds had just smashed a bowl by launching it at the wooden floor in temper while dd clung to me screaming.

Ds is playing up presumably because he thinks dd is getting all the attention. He wants 24hr attention (but that's another story!)

Please someone tell me what i should do. Been applying powders + bonjela before feeds, sometimes seems to help but unless it's in the night she never seems to have 'satisfying' feeds anymore. Feel like i'm losing all control!

So sorry mamakim been away for a couple of days.

How are things now? Hope you've had a better few days and baby has settled down at feeds.

I've only got the one DS so can't imagine how hard it must be trying to feed a little one with a toddler tearing round the place.

Really, I can't help with the feeding issues either I can only re-iterate that I found the helplines to be fantastic because you get one on one support from a BF expert. I'm sure there's an explanation for and a solution to your current feeding issues. I wish I had the expertise to answer your questions. I'll bump again in the morning, maybe one of the pros will pick this up