just out of interest...whose DH/DPs do night feeds?

[BettyFriedan]

A Friday question that occurred to me at 4am this morning with DH slumbering peacefully beside me! I'e always done them because he has to go to work but i wondered if other people shared them....

DP has done 1 night feed (formula - couldn't express enough despite repeated attempts) since DS was 10 weeks and I fainted with tiredness. I wanted to continue exclusively for longer, but it was ridiculous - DS had fed 1 hour on, 1 hour off since birth, and often didn't sleep in the hour off due to colic/wind.

In hindsight I reckon there was some problem with his latch (HCP friend thought he may have had mild tongue tie as his tongue is slightly heart shaped) and am slightly disappointed with HV/MW's for not noticing, and myself for not being brave enough to question constant newborn feeding, as everyone says they feed often.

Oh, and DP works full time, leaves house at 7:15am.

DH does all the night feeds

Though there's usually only one of them. I wake up to breastfeed while he makes the bottle, then he goes to the living room to top up and feeds/ changes/ gets back to sleep etc

Realise I'm extremely lucky, but function terribly unless I have decent sleep and it works out for us this way. He gets long lie ins at the weekends and as he's doing a phd his hours are decided by him so he'll often have a nap in the morning then come home later that evening.

Dh did no night feeds as I was bfeeding and totally pants at expressing. He has always got up to the older child(ren) in the night when I was bfeeding a baby. I usually had to wake him and tell him DD1 or 2 was crying mind you, but his intentions are good......

Ex p refused to help at night to do nappies when I was bf or ff when we used bottles . And wouldn't help in the mornings either. Which partly explains why he is my ex p!

On dc3 and have always gotten up (I bf though). Then has cheek to complain that is exhausted in the morning because of all the disturbances!
One of my brothers leaves it to his pt working wife (she's ff).
The other does all the nights (they're on nr2) so his wife can recover from looking after them all day despite having a full-on job.

One of the deals we made when we had DD1 was that I would bf, and in return for him never having to get up and do a night feed etc, he would take on more of the house work etc. The way I see it we mums get a chunk of maternity leave, and can catch up on the odd nap in the day sometimes (especially when you only have one DC) so as he has to get up for work and I didn't it was only fair that I should have the broken sleep.

My Dh did take equal shares in the night feeds and settlings from when our DD was 8 mths old as this was when I went back to work. I did have to moan a bit to get him to see it my way. Fingers crossed she no longer wakes for a feed at night, sometimes for other reasons.

We had previously agreed that I would do all the getting up in the night on the basis that as I was at home all day I could catch up on my sleep then . He often held her though when I went to get milk etc as he was awake anyway.

We may both end up knackered but it makes such a difference to have someone there to discuss the, 'Is she hungry?', 'Do you think she feels hot?', 'Shall I just leave her for a little bit and see if she settles?'

I realise what a sacrifice this is for him as he really suffers through lack of sleep whereas I usually get away with it - albeit being a bit snappy.

My DH does the night feeds - he says that he enjoys the opportunity to spend time with DD as he is at work all day.

Dh never did any. Claimed the dcs wouldn't take it from him.

In truth, I appreciated that he had to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for work, whereas I could slump on the sofa all day if I wanted to. No point both of us being tired either.

If I was doing it again (which I am NOT) I'd negotiate to get dh to do some weekend feeds.

My DH and I shared night feeds with DS1 - I'd do the ones after midnight.

I did more of the night feeds with DS2, but he was a much better sleeper.

I have to say, that DH coped much better because he can get back to sleep easily, whereas I'd be awake for an hour.
Total nightmare. That is why there will be no DC3.....

I was a SAHM

Df did them all with DD who was FF, I struggle to get back to sleep once awake so it made sense for s to do it that day.

This time DS is ebf so i do it all but the lovely hormones are keeping me going [yawn]

dh never did any as I was bfing and I needed to do the night feeds to keep my dwindling milk supply going

Also, my reasoning at not being more pushy about him doing some feeds (once I got the hang of expressing) was that he had to work all day, and while I was on mat leave I was able to sleep during the day. That might have to change now we have no.2 on the way as I will obviously not be getting loads of sleep during the day with a very active toddler and newborn.

forgot to mention, ds was sleeping through from 7 months and I went back to work when he was 8 months so wasn't too much of a problem... if ds hadn't been such a good sleeper I might have had to share nightfeeds a bit more once I went back to work.

Never! Once I asked him to lift my son out of the cot for me in the night (I had really bad carpal tunnel in both wrists) as I was scared I would drop him....DH was not impressed. That kind of man I'm afraid. My son was breastfed so there was no point in him helping other than that, thank goodness! I think we would be divorced otherwise!

Never.

But both were bf and he did all the nappies and most baths.

DH did all the night feeds for (bottlefed) DS for the first week or so as I was too ill following a difficult birth - I couldn't even hold DS for a few days let alone get up and feed him.

Soon as I was able to get up we shared 50-50. DH was able to catch up on sleep on the train to and from work, which I wasn't able to do!

Number two is due in November and assuming I'm fine straightaway we will share 50-50 again.

When dp and I were each pregnant, we had a 2am rule - if the baby woke before 2am he'd get a bottle feed (we did 1 x formula feed at night with each of them from 3 weeks old) but if the baby woke after 2am it was up to the breastfeeder!

Worked really well -although I remember being woken up each night, hearing the crying and praying it was either before or after 2am - depending on whether it was ds1 or ds2!!

Nope, mine doesn't, but I am bfing Ds2.

He is good at getting up with Ds1 on the odd occasions he gets up in the night though.

I don't mind coping with one child in the early hours, but not two!

I believe night feeds are one of the reasons why dh is so supportive of bfing!

Nope, but I breastfeed and cosleep, so he wouldn't be terribly useful really.

Dh does all the night wakings once they are not breastfed at night any more (but the way ds is going that won't be for a many decades yet )

dd was bf but in the early days when i was up and down all night dp would get up change her and settle her down and even made me tea if id been up ages.

He has never done one, ever. But I am bf, and co-sleep so I don't tend to wake up much. I wish that on particularly unsettled nights he would help out though, they are rare (have had about 2-3 weeks' worth in 8 months, not counting newborn stage) and he has helped out with 3, once for 20 minutes at the beginning of the non-settled period, once by storming into the spare room with DS after I snapped at him and once when DS was ill and I was worrying.