Mix feeding - questions questions questions...

[Wilkiepedia]

Didn't BF DS1, am expecting DS2 and would like to BF. However, I suffer with migraine and this is triggered by lack of sleep so the night feeds are really important that DH and I can share the burden.

Can I BF during the day and FF a bottle for night feeds? Or would I have to express? Would I need to express in the night so it would be pointless in DH giving DS2 a bottle cos I would up BFing too??

Argh - it makes my head hurt and FF seems the easier option but I really want to try BFing this time round as I feel I missed out and gave up too easily first time (did first four feeds from breast but no support and couldn't get knack so gave up).

Help!

Wilkiepedia Eventually you might be able to give ff, but for the first 6 weeks you will need to express (inc nights) any substituted bfs.

Can you try to think laterally instead. If you NEED to sleep are there other ways of ensuring you get it?

Is your DH taking max paternity leave plus hols to give you day-time naps?

Can you feed yourself with your DS1 at teatime and go to bed as soon as your DH gets in, have him bring the baby to you for feeds until midnight when you take over?

If you're in bed from 7-7, you're likely to get 7-8 hours in there somewhere?

Is there anyone else that can help you in the beginning?

Can you push to stay longer in hospital?

Perhaps you could express a bottle/or give formula for one feed from your husband so you get a good four hours in a row (the important minimium uninterrupted amount IME!), and perfect the lying down latch for the others?

I'm hoping to do it this time, latching her on then dropping off again whilst she feeds...

Snowlight - DS is self employed so will be taking some pat leave but not much. Mum and MIL gonna stay a week each to help.

I don't want to BF DS2 to the detriment of spending time with DS1 and DH. If I am going to bed at 7pm then I won't see DH at all as he doesn't get in until late.

Is there no way round it? I don't want to sound like I'm being difficult but my migraines worry me. I only want to BF for a couple of months, not longer term.

To be honest, I think all you can do is try your best. You won't really know how much sleep you will get until your DS2 is here because they're all so different aren't they? He might be a fast, efficient feeder and a good sleeper in which case you will manage fine. I would just go for the breastfeeding and take each day as it comes- try and get breastfeeding established and then see if you can express so you can have a break. Good luck. Keep us posted.

Thanks all. Sometimes, the BFing topics on here make me feel so hopeless as though if you don't BF continuously you are somehow failing.

I really would like to BF, for me as well as DS2 and I think you are right SuperCherry I will just have to give it a go and see what happens.

Lotster - what is the 'lying down latch'? Not heard of that. I don't have to co-sleep to do that do I?

Wilk How about researching co-sleeping?

I'm afraid it is normal to sacrifice family time for the sake of sleep when you get a newborn. It's temporary and for the 'survival' period only.

It seems to me that you need to prioritise as you have conflicting demands on your time.

Bfing, sleeping and family time (you may have more i.e. housework, socialising). The balance is up to you, but it is only for a short period of time whatever sacrifices you make.

Sometimes your bfing can cope with not being first, but to give it the best chance you do need to put it first.

Snowlight - I don't agree with co-sleeping (but that's a whole other debate) but your suggestions have been very useful. I love the idea of closeness and bonding that I feel BFing will give me with DS2. Also, DS1 had terrible wind and reflux problems which I wonder may have been worsened by formula? Guess I will never know.

Wilkie, I would also say don't prioritise breastfeeding over your health and wellbeing. Yes we all know it is nutritionally superior to formula but a happy mum is also better than an exhausted one made miserable with migraines! I think if you don't put too much pressure on yourself you will probabaly have fewer migraines and will be more able to breastfeed anyway. Hope this makes sense.

I expressed for an evening bottle with my second child. Interestingly enough, I have found that mixed feeding is far more common in Sweden (where they have the world's highest breastfeeding rates). It's a question of making sure your milk supply is establised, though.

Hi Wilkie,

BF'ing lying down

I am also not a big fan on co-sleeping (too terrified of hurting her) but hope to "dip in" a bit as I get run down so fast without sleep. Even if I can do it for just one or two of the night feeds it should add a bit of sleep whilst she feeds I'm hoping!

My LO will have a cot butted up to the bed (we got a dropside but you can just remove a side) so I can slide her over, feed her lying down and doze, then slide her back when finished and I wake. Also because I have to have a C/S so would prefer not to have to keep sitting up and lifting in and out of moses.

I found with my son that when I fed in the night, sitting upright, light on etc that it really affected my sleep and ability to drop off again despite being dog tired, but I've always been a really bad sleeper, I need utter quiet and dark usually. He took such a long time to feed too.

Am even considering getting something like this to allow me to do this for some bits of the night without worrying I'll squash her and staying awake!

i have successfully mix fed DS2 but didnt start until he was about 8 weeks old. my MW said to feed lying down and we get the best latch that way. we also co-sleep. did with DS1 as well, and DS2 sort of helps himself during the night so we all get sleep.

the way we work it is that DS2 gets a big feed at 7pm after his bath and then DH gives him 4-5ozs formula (i use Hipp as its supposed to be closest to Breast milk) at about 11pm. in the early days i went to sleep at about 8.30pm but now it means i've got the evening to myself

if you are worried about co-sleeping, try reading this (sorry i cant do links) www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/cosleepingsafely/

i was worried initially but it has worked for us.

re your comment about only feeding for a short period of time, the only advice i can say is to take one day at a time. in the beginning we found it difficult and i used to say to myself that i would BF until the end of tomorrow and then review it. we are still BFing at 25weeks

Thanks girls for all advice. Fled - that sounds a good idea re mix feeding. I will be using Aptamil again as I tried SMA Gold first which was AWFUL but found Aptamil worked well.

Lotster - you sound V similar to me re sleeping. I have to have pitch black and no sound to even think about going to sleep and then it usually takes me a good hour to get off. When are you due?

Next Friday!

So rubbish in pregnancy isn't it - I am as of this week getting up twice a night for a wee and not getting back to sleep very fast. Just when we need to stock up eh?

p.s. when you due?

Only 24 weeks - due 14th June. Am forward planning

Oooo how exciting due next friday!!! Good luck!!!!!!

wilkiepedia - am not sure about aptamil but was told somewhere (prob here) that hipp organic was the closest in taste and consistency to breast milk. tried Ds2 on cow&gate (made by aptamil) and he brought it back up but is ok with Hipp.

i know that there is alot of evidence saying that mix feeding interferes with your milk production which is why we left it nearly 2 months before we introduced a bottle. having said that, now some days he is only breastfed and other days he gets a couple of bottles. despite all the odds, it works well for us. i think (in our case) the important thing has been to make sure he is 90%+ breast fed and a feed is either breast or bottle. he is not "topped up" with formula.

hth

I breastfed both DD and DS(now 7 months) and went to BF and expressed bottle feeding at 4wks with DS as had a family funeral so needed to be apart for a few hours. He was fine so stuck with expressed bottle once a day so DH could help out. Went onto one bottle of formula a day when he was 20wks as he was hungrier and waking in night. However BF it is very tiring and hard work on you but worth every second. For the night feeds I used to lie down and feed him - allowed me to nod off and DH used to keep an eye out and let me know when DS had finished and then put him back in cradle. It really helped but knew I wasn't compromising what was best for him.

thanks Wilkie, you too!