Breastfeeding my son is embarrassing

[Brodiemummy]

I was out yesterday and my son wanted feeding so I'm embarrassed to breastfeed him so I went toilets plus I also needed to go toilet ect so he woke up mid me doing my own toilet life it's tmi to tell everyone but you get the point so I'm sat here on the toilets feeding him however I'm done but he's still going so I'm here no top clothing on my jeans still need zipping up just reading everything on the wall while also thinking why doesn't the toilets have radiators because I'm freezing also had no WiFi so bored when some staff started saying they closing soon needing to clean toilets and is anyone in there witch I get all embarrassed because I only feed my son the breast in public because it feels more comfortable for me obviously other mums that feed their kids in public is totally fine this is just how I feel about me breastfeeding so I do this instead but you can understand the staff asking because my son takes like almost 35 minutes normally to feed and I took like 15 minutes on toilet and then I was changing his nappy ect so really we spent an hour in there witch yes I know epic anyway just came on here to mostly just say like it is embarrassing when staff are saying closing and stuff and why isn't they a radiator I was freezing hopefully my son wasn't freezing too but obviously I was the only one no clothes on to feed him

Get a nursing cover?

If this is true, you need to get over your embarrassment quickly. Do you really think that toilets should have WiFi and radiators? And why should the staff have to put up with this sort of thing?

Why do you need to take your entire top clothing off??

How old is your baby?

When my DC were babies we were fighting to be allowed to feed them "in public" not sitting in the toilets. That's grim.

Sorry, but you need to get over your embarrassment, or get a cover so no one can see.

Would you go to a breastfeeding group? It’s great when you are unsure of it to be sitting around with loads of other mums doing the same thing. It’s great for your son you are bf. Try to remember that and feel confident, not embarrassed. What’s the embarrassment about anyway?

How old is your baby? Nursing covers can cover you up but they also cover the baby amd obscure your view of them. I found it easier to go with a loose top with a vest top underneath. I could pull the vest down and lift the baggy top and nothing would really be on display and I could still see my baby. Also some shops like M&S have rooms for nursing mothers, they are usually a bit grim though because of the nappy bins.

It can be hard feeding in public at first. I often used to feed in the car when I was parked. Some shops have baby rooms where you can sit and feed in comfort away from toilets. John Lewis and Ikea do. Other places to look for are libraries plenty of comfortable seating and discreet corners, any museums and art galleries which are free or cheap annual membership in your local town.
Find your local breast feeding group and they’ll have suggestions and help with covers etc

A large lightweight shawl is good to cover up. I used one and so did my daughter. My daughter would go into breastfeeding friendly cafes, they didnt appear to have them when I had my babies and feed discreetly. She met other breastfeeding mums that way . If you're feeling self conscious like my daughter was sitting with other mums helps.

Join a group to meet other breastfeeding mums and get more confident. You can try shawls and covers although I found it was a faff and pointless when the baby gets older and wriggly.

I had my kids overseas where it wasn’t unusual to see 3 year olds breastfeeding at the playground. I can imagine with UK breastfeeding culture feeling a bit more self conscious. But it’s always nice to see breastfeeding mums in public and plenty of people who see you will think well done her.

Go sit in a café and feed your baby. You will soon get over your embarrassment and there will be hot coffee and wifi.

Oh love, I actually don't think it's very hygienic to breastfeed in a public toilet. Would you like to eat in there? Sat on a loo?
Please try to get over your embarrassment for the sake of your baby's hygiene and comfort.

Well done for breastfeeding your son. It can be so much harder than we’re expecting at first and it does take some mums time to get used to feeding in public, it took me ages to get the hang of it.
You’re doing a brilliant job but try some other options rather than feeding in the toilet. Cover ups, muslin squares draped over him, massive baggy jumper or poncho will all work well until you get over feeling self conscious. You should be really proud of yourself

In all kindless why do you need to take your whole top off? Undo buttons, put a blanket over baby if you want, honestly no one cares these.

Huh? No one’s doing that.
vest top with another top over. Vest goes down, baby goes under the other top. No one sees anything, no one’s stuck in the toilet.
this is mad.

That sounds really stressful OP. Well done for keeping going and getting out of the house.

35 min feeds are long feeds. I had similar and it took me a few months to feel confident feeding in public. In the early days, I didn't go out far at all because, like you, I found it easier to remove layers to see what I was doing and it looks ages.

It got better for us after a BF consultant finally recognised DD had tongue tie (it hadn't been picked up by midwives). Once her tongue tie was released and - to be honest - once she'd just got a little bigger (possibly due to my awkward nipples?!), things became much quicker and easier. Nipple shields, a big shawl/muslin and a lot of practice with positions at home helped before then. I actually carried on BFing until she turned 2.

The biggest help though was a breastfeeding support group - it was a really safe space to practice, get tips, make friends and vent. Your health visitor might be able to recommend one.

FWIW, I did find I had to be fairly undressed, because it was really hard to get my baby to find a position to latch on.

It's not helpful to shame someone and make them feel bad if they can't manage the neat and tidy 'one top pulled up and a vest pulled down' thing.

And it's absolutely fucking shitty to guilt-trip someone about feeding in a toilet by suggesting it's unhealthy for the baby. Unless the baby is being encouraged to lick the toilet seat, I would imagine it's perfectly fine, if not very nice for the mum.

Thank you so much for standing up for me on a different thread I talked about how I didn't used to be able to breastfeed very good and so I'm still looking into like a nursing bra but I don't like nursing tops because I feel like everyone's gonna know I breastfeed I have a cover but that's mostly for cuddles when baby just wants mummy and wants to hide I really like this comment thank you so much for making me feel a little better