Breastfeeding - is this the end? Help!

[FiveOne]

First time poster. I've been breastfeeding my little boy for 9 months now, I've gone back to work and I pump at work. He's at nursery and he has breast milk when he's there. My issue is I am not producing as much as he is drinking, and so because of this we have now run out of milk. We have around 2oz in the freezer, that's it! There was a time when we had 20+ Oz but it's all been used up.

We had a traumatic birth, difficult bonding journey and I was quite poorly (mentally and physically) for the first few months. He was born in the middle of winter and my OCD really kicked in regarding germs and him becoming poorly. Now we are heading into the winter again, I am wanting to make sure I do "a good enough job" and continue to breastfeed him so he can recover from any illnesses quickly. I am holding myself to an incredibly high standard here. I feel like I'm failing by not producing enough for him when we are apart.

I'd like to add that I am really supportive of any other friend and will help ease any mum guilt they have, especially around feeding but I cannot accept the fact that I am failing to feed my little boy! From day one, I have villainised formula in my head (thanks especially to one midwife in particular ..) and so really worry at the thought of him drinking it, even though he has had to sometimes and he gets on with it just fine.

What can I do to allow myself to feel calmer about this? I don't want this to be the end of the bf journey but I don't know what else I can be doing to produce more for him! If you have been in a similar situation before, I'd really appreciate your take on this!

I breastfed both my children up to 2.5, even though they started nursery at around 12 months.

At the 9 to 12 month mark, they are slowly increasing their reliance on actual food, and then from 12 months can drink cows milk too. So mine never had formula, they had either water or cows milk at nursery (my oldest hated cows milk and didn’t drink it until he was around 18 months!) and then I would breastfeed at home.

At the 9 month mark, considering he is eating food too, formula is just another form of food. So I would seriously consider formula for when he’s at nursery, and then breastfeeding when he’s home with you. Seeing as he is having nutrition from other sources now, does it really matter if it is breastmilk or formula week for some of his feeds during the week?

Same as the first post, I kept on breastfeeding when we were together and gave other food and water and when 12 months gave a mix of cows milk from a cup and breast milk from me. It’s absolutely nothing to worry about. My almost two year old still enjoys a bit of breast milk at bedtime although I have very little to give him but the closeness is lovely and I think there are still some health benefits.

From what I know, for a good number of women, pumping does result in a decline in milk production vs. when baby is taking the milk himself. If you want to get your milk supply up, do you have the option to take a week off work to nurse your son without pumping (though probably might help temporarily only before the same happens again)? Otherwise maybe this is as far as it goes with pumping.

It doesn’t need to be the end at all. Please consider giving the national breastfeeding helpline a call. You can talk to trained breastfeeding counsellors for free who will be happy to answer your questions about this. It’s a common concern they see!

0300 100 0212

It’s open 24/7 every day of the year. They will help you come up with a plan whether you want to continue or not.

Have you tried expressing more regularly? Pumping isn't as stimulating as the baby's natural sucking power so pumping can reduce the amount of milk.

Breastfed until 27 months and 14 months. Never used formula. Once I was at work they just had water or oat milk (dairy allergy) in a cup and food. They made up for it when we were together. Baby will always be much better at removing milk from the breast that a pump so please don't be discouraged if you want to continue.

Do you bedshare? I fed on demand until 24 months but it was mostly overnight feeding.

You won’t produce much milk at this stage and that’s fine, breastfeed them in the evening/morning and you will have enough for their immunity.

how much solid food does the baby eat?

my babies had mainly milk until one but then they only bf morning and evening/night and I breastfed for years.

don’t stress, it will be ok :) if they even have 50 ml of milk that’s great!

He's a tall, slim thing and can definitely eat well if he likes the food given to him! Your comment is really helpful, thank you

I'm going to be mean and say you are catastrophising. I hope this is actually helpful to tell you, even if i should have found a nicer word. Are you finding that you have enough milk for him at the weekend? If so, you have enough milk for him. He's on solid food now too, so it will only be a couple of months before he really doesn't need milk in a bottle at nursery at all and can manage on solid food and water all day, with an extra big feed from you in the morning and after nursery (and all night long if he's anything like my two). My nephew started at a childminder at 6 months and would never take a bottle. Even at that age he managed all day on a few bites of food and some water and then fed and fed when with my sister. She fed him til he was almost 4! Honestly the fact that you're struggled to pump as much as he'll chug from a bottle is absolutely no indication that you need to stop breastfeeding.

My second self weaned at 12 months. But she was duen to one feed a day by then, she was eating real food for months by then. My first I went back to work at five months and never got on with pumping. He’s a strapping 23 year old. Stop the guilt.

Yes we do co-sleep and he feeds whenever needed through the night :) thank you!

Thank you for your responses, they are really helpful

It doesn't have to be all or nothing, I went back to work when DD was 9 months - BF her whenever I was home. I would pump in my lunch break but it was more for comfort than anything else (I might get one feed out but never more than that). She'd usually have a bottle in the day (formula or expressed milk depending on whether there was any in the freezer) but I think usually only one, then the rest was solids/water. She still likes to feed at bedtime/if she wakes in the night - she's nearly 3!