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Infant feeding

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Second baby, same breastfeeding problems – should I keep trying?

5 replies

Foxandrobin · 11/09/2026 10:52

Breast feeding didn’t work out with my first and I fear it’s heading in the same direction with my newborn as it is playing out in the exact same way. For the first couple of days baby was so so sleepy I’ve only really gotten a couple of sucks out of her each time, she was impossible to wake up even after stripping down, tickling feet, lots of skin to skin.

As advised by midwife we topped up with formula using a cup or teaspoon to ensure she is getting what she needs. Thankfully this formula just got us through not needing to be readmitted to hospital due to weight loss like with our first. However she had since woken up more but now she just screams at the breast, she was very occasionally latching previously, but just not sucking, however in the last day, I can barely get her to latch let alone suck, she just gets so distressed so hasn’t been taking anything from me meaning every feed has been formula to ensure she receives something. I’ve tried lots of skin to skin, different positions and giving her some formula first to calm her initially, and offering throughout the day feeding queues or not but she just either won’t latch at all, latches and pulls off and cries after a couple of sucks, or cries and pushes away from me but nothing seems to work. The last couple of feeds we have switched to bottle as the midwife said so much was spilling from teaspoon/cup we couldn’t know how much she is getting. (Since been told cup is better to avoid nipple confusion - every midwife we speak to gives contradicting advice, it’s so confusing).

I’ve got a manual hand pump I’ve started using last night to try and keep supply up. I’ve also got a wearable electric pump but didn’t get anything out at all with that. This is exactly what happened with my first, I was trying to triple feed, baby was not making any breastfeeding improvements, I was an exhausted emotional wreck who felt like a complete failure and I made to decision to exclusively ff. This time I was so determined it would be different and to make it work but I just can’t believe this is happening again. I’m being referred to the infant feeding team but I had their support first time round and it didn’t make a difference. I just feel hopeless, Its getting worse and baby wont latch or feed at all now, despite trying every feed. Just looking to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and has successfully made breastfeeding work?

Contemplating today whether to go ahead and work with the infant feeding team again or just try to accept we will be ff again and save myself from what may end up being a pointless and emotional struggle.

OP posts:
Amsylou · 11/09/2026 10:56

This sounds so similar to mine and after three weeks of triple feeding and not managing anything from pumping I realised that my milk just didn’t come in. Honestly, I was so upset but after ff and my boy being a healthy weight I just didn’t worry. I was in Covid lockdown though so had no help. I think keep trying but also if it is your supply then honestly it might just be the case you need to ff. I really hope it works though x

Foxandrobin · 11/09/2026 16:39

Amsylou · 11/09/2026 10:56

This sounds so similar to mine and after three weeks of triple feeding and not managing anything from pumping I realised that my milk just didn’t come in. Honestly, I was so upset but after ff and my boy being a healthy weight I just didn’t worry. I was in Covid lockdown though so had no help. I think keep trying but also if it is your supply then honestly it might just be the case you need to ff. I really hope it works though x

Thank you for your reply. I thought my milk was coming in yesterday but seems to have stopped even though I have been using the pump. I’ve not heard back from the infant feeding team either. It’s so sad, I just really thought I might get the chance to make it work this time. My first was ff and is healthy and happy so I know it’s not the end of the world but I’m not planning on having any more so would have loved to have had the breastfeeding experience.

OP posts:
ExplodingSmittens · 18/09/2026 18:20

How are you getting on now @Foxandrobin? Flowers

Foxandrobin · 19/09/2026 11:36

ExplodingSmittens · 18/09/2026 18:20

How are you getting on now @Foxandrobin? Flowers

Theres been some improvement, I tried nipple shields and she seems to be sucking and swallowing more strongly, however I could be trying to feed her for 30 - 45 minutes and she will still take pretty much full bottle afterwards. If I pump afterwards I’m still getting the same amount off so I know it’s there, she’s just not taking it.

Also finding nipples are really painful even with the shields, and from pumping even though I’m only finding time to do it 3 times a day at the moment. I’ve been told I need to pump at least 8 times a day to build supply but I don’t feel able to do that with a 3 year old to look after, the pain, and also I just absolutely hate it, mentally it does me no good.

Not sure where to go from here, there’s a glimmer of hope but still it’s just not really working out for us.

OP posts:
Arewethebadguys · 19/09/2026 11:40

I used a ripple shield both times with mine. Couldn't get them to latch and that £3.49 shield changed my entire breastfeeding journey. Maybe worth a try? Goid luck! No shame in bottle feeding, fed is best ❤️

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