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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Reading these threads has made me really worried: newbie seeks reassurance!

34 replies

minervaitalica · 23/04/2008 20:11

Hello!

I am currently expecting my first baby, and naturally I thought I would breastfeed my newborn. That was until I found this topic, read a few threads, and I am now really worried that this breastfeeding is going to be much more difficult than I envisaged... Pain, misplaced prudishness, tiredness, lack of confidence, whatever...

Can anyone offer some advice to a newbie on how I can prepare myself and give it my best shot when it come to it (time is on my side as I am 17 wks)?

OP posts:
chibi · 23/04/2008 20:14

congratulations on your pregnancy!

In short,

keep an open mind

ask for help from profesionals (La Leche League, NCT, Association of Breastfeeding Mothers phone numbers here) if and when you need it

you have nothing to lose by having a go and everything to gain.

Best of luck

EffiePerine · 23/04/2008 20:14

I was the same - was prepared for it being a nightmare and it was actually much easier than I expected! I think the important thing to bear in mind is that IF you have problems (and you may not) it does not mean the end of bfing - there are people out there (and on here!) who can help. Get the numbers of the BF helplines and bung them in your hospital bag and relax

liath · 23/04/2008 20:15

Feed baby asap after birth.

If feeding hurts get someone qualified to help you with the latch.

Trust your body to produce enough milk.

Use the kellymom site and mumsnet.

Good luck, a lot of babies just take to breast-feeding with no problems so don't get too worried - people for whom it's easy and going well won't be posting threads here for help so you'll get a skewed view of things reading threads.

LittleMy34 · 23/04/2008 20:16

Relax relax relax relax,is my top tip.

and keep trying, it doesn't come naturally, despite what one might think, but once you've got it, you've got it.

and make sure you know where to get advice - good old MN, La Leche League, breastfeeding counsellors etc. Good support at the beginning is vital in getting you started.

you'll be fine!

madcol · 23/04/2008 20:17

Certainly more difficult than I imagined. Actually better to know that it isn't straight forward for everyone.

When I ran into problems when DS first born I thought I was a complete failure bcause it is supposed to be so natural.
Like pregnancy and birth just because it is natural doesn't mean it is always easy.

Talk to people ; find out resources in your area e.g. breastfeeding cafes; breastfeeding advisers so you know who to turn to if for whatever reason things don't go to plan.

Most people who have difficulties to start with do persevere and succeed.

VivalaDiva · 23/04/2008 20:17

Just get some decent advice (i.e. from bf counsellor) - I had too many different stories from midwives and got confused. It is hard but you sound determined!

Pidge · 23/04/2008 20:17

Hi - I'm 17 weeks pregnant too - but with number 3 in my case!

The only thing is not to worry about it in advance. But arm yourself with information about where to go for help if you hit trouble. And be prepared to be stubborn and hang in there for a few weeks to see how it's really going.

chibi · 23/04/2008 20:17

I would avoid reading up on it TBH will probably freak you out.

I didn't and thus missed hearing how I would deffo have probs because x,y,z (didn't have any really as it turns out )

There isn't really anything you can do as such to prepare.

Google Dr Jack Newman, a Canadian pediatrician. His site has some vids of babies latching on which could be helpful.

Or go to your local breastfeeding cafe (ask your midwife) to see women breastfeeding in person. Pregnant women are usually welcome.

MinkyBorage · 23/04/2008 20:18

I know a couple of people who found it easy, I didn't, but everyone's different. Just make sure you've got all the info in place in case you need some support. It is th emost wonderful thing in the owrld to be able to feed your baby, and if you're really keen to do it, it will be fine. Don't worry.

HeadFairy · 23/04/2008 20:18

Everyone's different, you may have a really easy time of things. Remember people usually post on here when they're having problems, they don't normally come on and post when there's nothing worrying them. Don't think that cos there are a lot of people on here having problems bfing that you will too.

I did find it difficult at first, but only because I had no idea if I was doing the right thing or not, so mostly I just needed reassurance. Find out about breastfeeding groups or something like that you can go to once your baby is born, having support when you're doing it for the first time is fantastic, and it's great to talk to other new mothers and find out they're having the same issues as you, ie you're normal. Good luck, you'll be great.

funnypeculiar · 23/04/2008 20:19

You've found mn - you have the best resources at your finger-tips
Bear in mind that people are more likely to post on here if they're having problems than if everythings going fine. I was like you - assumed everything would be easy .... & it was

cmotdibbler · 23/04/2008 20:19

Remember that people are posting here because they are having problems - in 23 months of breastfeeding I have had precisely two problems (one blocked duct which cleared that night, and a bit of mastitis 2 weeks ago which I cleared).

Its best to be aware that there can be problems, learn all you can about bfing in advance, get all the support numbers, and then approach it with the attitude that you can and will bf - but you might need some help, or sail through it.

funnypeculiar · 23/04/2008 20:19

x-post

HeadFairy · 23/04/2008 20:21

great minds...

Babyisaac · 23/04/2008 20:25

Seek out your breastfeeding expert at your hospital if there is one. Failing that, there are the helplines.

I wouldn't bother reading these threads - some people and their babies find it difficult and others have easier times. My DS is now 15 weeks old and I have to say the first 8 weeks were really tricky. I've got it sorted now though, and not only is it the best thing for him, I find it enjoyable and extremely convenient!

pussycatmomma · 23/04/2008 20:30

Dont be freaked out!! Im currently breastfeeding my 11 wk old ds. Everyones experiences are different but I have had no major problems. It was something I absolutely wanted to do, but I also knew that sometimes these things are just not to be however much effort you put it. Its a two way thing - your baby has alot to do with it too! If you want to read up from an expert, there is a brilliant book called "What to expect when you're breastfeeding, and what to expect if you cant" (or something very similar along those lines) I read it before I had baby and it is very informative but also very realistic. Trick is just to have an open mind. Good luck and lovely big congrats on your pregnancy. Enjoy every second!! I cant wait to have another already
xx

claraquitetirednow · 23/04/2008 20:30

I think you have done the most important thing, which is to be aware that it might be difficult, but that if you do find it hard this is totally normal and there is usually a way through it and it doesn't necessarily mean you have to give up.

So many people (myself included first time) think that breastfeeding should be a doddle and come naturally - after all, what can be difficult about putting a baby to your breast and letting it suck a bit? Therefore when it doesn't work out that way, some people do think they can't do it and give up (although other people try and try and keep trying and it still doesn't work out).

The big suprise for me was how hard it was the second time. But the thing that helped me was getting someone to sit with me and show me EXACTLY how the baby should latch on. So if you can, I would try and get this advice right from day one - you won't necessarily know if you are going to have a problem at the start as the pain doesn't usually kick in until a few days in but by then you are usually at home without the support around you.

Good luck with your pregnancy and first baby!

pussycatmomma · 23/04/2008 20:35

babyisaac is right - it is so convenient and supposed to be the best thing since sliced bread for your babe
Try and have lots of skin to skin contact immediatly after birth and feed as soon as you can. You will probably find you have professional support coming out of your ears when the time comes, as everyone is so keen for you to do it - midwives, health visitors, staff on the ward after having baby etc. There will normally be a feeding advisor on the ward too, take advantage of her , check check and check again that your technique is good while you are still in hosp, and dont go home till you feel confident. xx

Original poster
minervaitalica · 23/04/2008 20:37

Wow thanks for the prompt replies... Breastfeeding cafes? That I definitely did not know about... Ditto for the breastfeeding videos.

I am not sure whether it is better not to know though... I suppose if I know sth could be difficult I will probably try harder - I relish a challenge or two.

An interesting point made is that it does not necessarily happen naturally - you may need to work at it. I will definitely have the support numbers in my labour bag!!!!

OP posts:
ibblewob · 23/04/2008 22:10

What I wish I'd known from the start:

I was told at the hospital that if I was doing it right it wouldn't hurt - NOT TRUE, at least for the first few days. So don't get discouraged if that is the case - your boobs have had nothing like a muching bf-ing baby on them before (I'm assuming! ), so even if everything is perfect it will hurt a bit.

After a few days it might hurt for the first few seconds, but then be fine. You only need to worry if it hurts all the way through the feed.

It is brilliant, and I do hope it goes well for you.

Good luck, and congratulations!

pinkspottywellies · 23/04/2008 22:16

I wasn't keen on the idea of breastfeeding before I had dd but knew I'd give it a try. It was fine!! A little painful for the first few days but not unbearable and I didn't really have any problems at all.

Obviously people like me wouldn't need to start threads on MN so you do only get the problems on here! Don't let yourself get panicked by it but like other people have said, have the helpline numbers to hand, relax and believe it will work, use mumsnet for support when you need it.

Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy!

ninja · 23/04/2008 22:19

Like others easier than I thought (having read all the potential problems!!). It's defintely better to be prepared that there might be issue. 5 months in I got thrush and if it hadn't been for the advice here I wouldn't have got rid of it.

Good luck - it's the nicest feeling in the world (IMO). I'm 18 weeks and already can't wait to feed again.

ilovewashingnappies · 23/04/2008 22:25

Breast feeding is like driving and learning a musical instrument.

There will always be times when its difficult but always very worth it. You'll be doing it everyday, when you first wake up and just before you sleep.

But you'll need help, discover new ways of making it better, come across difficulties you didn;t expect and sometimes (probably rarely!) wonder if its for the best.

Remember that most people who write on Mumsnet are asking for help. If everyone who found breastfeeding fantastic wrote as well you'd feel much more reassured.

Been breast feeding nearly 8 months now and I have questions for breast feeding 'gurus' most weeks I go to the support group. Would never claim to have mastered something so complex and ever-changing but it really is worth any efforts you put in.

Enjoy!

mistlethrush · 23/04/2008 22:26

Minerva - I found the breastfeeding session that I had through NCT really helpful - and also helpful for dh to be able to offer constructive advice on latch etc. For me, bf went right, ds and I both happy, continued to 22mo.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, hope everything else continues well and that your hope for bf also suceeds - but for some, even when trying to bf, they don't suceed - the main thing is to ensure that you and dc are happy which ever route you go down.

Best of luck!

VictorianSqualor · 23/04/2008 22:44

I'm one of the lucky ones, enver had an issue feeding DS, only needed the mw to show me the latch and had a great mw.
DS2 is 8 days old, and again, no problem, so do remember it may be plain sailing!
My best tip is to realise you will be feeding almost constantly (DS is off the boob for about an hour at a time, maximum, about three times a day,!) for a good few weeks. Look up co-sleeping (or ask here, I have some good info on it if you consider it) to ensure you get sleep as tiredness is what will wear you down.