I can't believe how much DS feeds, given others' experiences.

[BellaBear]

DS is 11 weeks +3. During the day, it is a struggle to get him to feed less frequently than 2 hourly unless we are out and the buggy sends/keeps him asleep. During the night he rarely sleeps for more than 2 hours and feeds whenever he wakes. Last week, he slept five hours in a row one night and four in a row the night before and we thought our luck had changed. But no.

He is co-sleeping with us on his side (we've had huuuge issue re reflux and sleeping, so this is a huge step forward, him being horizontal and not sleeping on someone's chest).

He does tend to go back to sleep at night after feeding, which is good. 'Night' is between nine-ish (bath at eight, feed until sleepy/asleep) and six-thirty/seven-thirty.

He seems to wake about four times a night.

Loads of other babies seem to go three or four hours in the day and longer at night. I realise all babies are different, but I am so jealous!

Is there light at the end of the tunnel? I want to sleep!

(He is breastfed, by the way)

Sounds like ds2 was. I will offer much sympathy...the 'tunnel' was very long for us. My only advice is to sleep whenever you can!

how long?

Put it this way, he has just turned 3 and still wakes once.

He was/is a horrendous sleeper though - even by horrendous sleeping standards. For example, we have had hospital referrals abotu his sleep. So try not to compare to ds2!

He is very gorgeous though!

oh god

actually, it's not the number of times he wakes, it's more the unpredictability of it. If I knew that he would be awake at say, 12, 2, 4.30 then that would be better. But each night I just go to bed with him and I can't ever see a time when we put him to bed and then stay up for an hour or two!

anyway, thanks for replying

I am now pregnant with dc3 so 1 night waking for us is heaven!!!!

Hi Bella,
I am so glad to hear that DS is now sleeping next to you and not on you any longer. That is a huge step forward! Congratulations!

Hmm. I do not know what to say exactly. 12 weeks is still very small and at that point I didnt expect much regularity from DS. Would it be easiest to change your expectations and just accept it? I just got up when DS wanted to nurse and that worked best for me. He also went right back to sleep so I didnt feel very sleep deprived, since I was able to go back to sleep as well.

Let me just share some of my experiences with DS who has reflux as well. DS is is now 19 weeks, so "much" older.
He recently started waking every one to two hours at night and wants to feed. I am very sure that this is not hunger, but that he has troubles resettling himself once he wakes up. [DS is a terrible day time sleeper, who never sleeps in day day except when in motion - same problem...]. Since I am very sure it is not hunger, I am not feeding him more than every three hours and try to resettle him at the other wakings. Now, that takes a lot of stamina and effort and I completely wake up - nursing would be much easier! But when he nurses very often, he gets more reflux and digestion problems and wakes up more etc. He then want to nurse to prevent reflux, drinks too much, thus gets reflux etc. I have seen progress after a few horrible nights in that he sleeps now 4-5 hours and has less reflux.
We are both much happier.

I think I might have posted this before but co-sleeping didnt work for us for the same reason: he wanted to drink all night long and then got reflux and digestion problems. So he is now in his own crib next to me and these additional 50cm make a big chance for us.

Sorry for the long and winding post. Just sharing my experiences. Good luck!

Have you consulted a reputable sleep expert? I am not sure I would trust the HV but maybe ask for a reference to a paediatrician/sleep expert?

Oh and another advantage of him being in his own crib is that we can tilt it (one end 15-20cm higher than the other) which helps the reflux quite a bit!

My tip about getting sleep is to go to bed together with DS. I do this when I am very tired (luxury of having my first) and have found that I can catch up on sleep by adding another 2 2h segments.

Thank you glimmer

What you are saying makes a lot of sense. He has actually just had a 45 min nap in his cot (on his side) which is very exciting.

I think at night he is often unsettled and being next to me means I can pat him back to sleep. However, the last couple of nights one of the times I have fed him he has fed for a very short time (2-3 mins) and then needed settling rather than feeding, so you may have something there. So maybe we should try the cot.

But also, is every two hours a lot during the day? It feels like it is.

I think 11 weeks is very young to be considering a sleep expert tbh. Many people are still having problems with their child's sleep at this age.

Yes, fair point popsycal.

On the feeding side, is this quite often? (during the day as well as at night)

Hi. My DD is almost the same age (10 weeks) and sounds quite similar, but without the reflux. Until recently she slept on me at night, waking every 3 hours, then needed feeding at least every 2 hours during the day, sometimes more, unless we are out. We recently have cracked the nights, when my godmother had her for one night (our wedding!), and swaddled her and put her in the moses basket (I was convinced she wouldn't sleep in it). She slept for 6 hrs straight and within a week was sleeping up to 8 hrs . So maybe try putting him in the cot?

yes, beginning to beginning.

Thanks. To be honest 'this is normal for some babies' is what I was hoping for, it was more a case of I was worried that something we are doing is stopping him being like other babies and not being sure how to change things.

Perservere and this will pass. Repeat to oneself at length.

Both DS1 and DS2 fed loads as small babies often more often than every 2 hours (both breastfed), it's very normal.
DS2still feeds every 3/4 hours at 10 months.
I really dont think you need a "sleep expert", its totally normal for a small baby to have interrupted sleep, it takes a while for them to distinguish day from night and their tummies are tiny and need filling often.
Remember also that when inside you, your baby had food "on tap", it takes time for babies to adjust to needing to have a feed ifswim.
Things will ease up as your baby grows, in the meantime I recommend you sleep/rest whenever your baby does (this is easier for first babies, not so easy when you have another child to look after).

My DS is exactly the same. He'll be 6 weeks this Thursday and has also had two periods of 4 hours at night.

The only thing different is that DS can settle himself in his crib after the nighttime feeds, just not in the day.

If he's in motion (in the buggy) he'll sleep for the duration and will also sleep through the return home and the taking off of his snowsuit.

It's just that this boy wants to feed all the time and he's bottle fed so I know how much milk he's taking and it's a lot.

His daytime naps rarely coincide with an opportunity for me to sleep and I'm starting to suffer. I have a 7 year old DD so school runs and care for her take precedence over my sleep.

DP can't help at night as his job as a motorbike courier means he need to sleep, although he wakes when we do and is going to sleep in the living room from tonight .

It took my DD 5 months to sleep better and then I used controlled crying but a mild version. She was breastfed and fed all the time too.

He's mithering now so I better go and get him but I sincerely hope things improve ro you as well as me.

Wow! Last night at one point he woke and I could tell he didn't need feeding! [preens at one's developing maternal instincts].

He did the other three times though!

onlyone - sorry you're having a crap time of it as well

personally I'd let him feed as much as he wanted during the day - don't be worried if it's not a 3-4 hrly schedule. As you're co-sleeping it's very hard to ignore them at night as well, you may find if/when you put him in a cot he will wake up less frequently - my two didn't sleep through until they went into their own room. Three mths is a time when they also begin to wake up quite a bit more (DS deteriorated markedly at this age, having been quite regular up to then). Good luck, I sleeptrained DS at six months, but DD didn't sleep through till 10mths - they are all different!

Since the other annoying thing 12-weekers do is refuse to feed at all during the day and make up at night, I would just thank your stars and hope the sleep improves! It will eventually honest. To put it in persepctive., I was referred to sleep clinic at 6 months and they said th ey didn't treat anything as a 'sleep problem' til about 18 months plus....