Another weight gain issue... Help, new mum in distress...

[angel1976]

Hi all,

Was completely happy with the way things were going with 16-day-old son (the midwife kept telling me everything is going brilliantly!)... until today... Went to the baby clinic to get him weighed and found out according to the charts that he has fallen from 9% in weight to 2%... The HV wasn't worried and said that as long as he is pooing and peeing then she is not concerned as obviously he has to regain the weight he lost initially. But since the appointment this morning, I've been worried he ISN'T pooing and peeing enough and also, he has been really restless the last two days (feeding loads... and each time for ages!) and I worry now that my milk supply isn't enough for him... Because he has been feeding so much, both my breasts now feel soft (and not full at all!).

So now in floods of tears, poor DH has no idea what brought it on as everything seems to be going well beforehand.

Weight when born: 3130 grammes
Weight at 5 days: Appro. 2900 grammes
Weight at 10 days: Appro. back to birth weight of 3130 grammes
Today (at 16 days): 3200 grammes

Please tell me and reassure me this is normal! I am so losing the plot... I think it's the tiredness too, I don't know if I can face another night of the constant feeding and comforting and putting him back to bed. How does everyone do this?

Ax

Oh yes, not to mention the HV said I should be drinking and eating loads... I KNOW that but finding it so impossible to get the time (and find the effort) to eat and drink enough with the baby pretty latched onto me most of the time. Does anyone has any ideas of what I can eat to improve my supply? Thanks.

Ax

Sounds like he's having a bit of a growth spurt, ds was always very restless and fed constantly when he had one. My boobs would feel soft & "empty" but apparently this was normal when they feed frequently. I'm sure your supply is fine and the weight seems OK to me.

Okay, first of all - it's normal for babies to be unsettled when they are trying to boost your supply. You need to feed almost continually to up your supply. Is your latch okay (is it comfy?) Have you tried the rugby hold, the baby will get more out more quickly.

In terms of your calorie intake, milky drinks (horlicks and hot chocolates saw me through) you can eat biscuits with them too. Get some decent paperbacks, a flask and fill it with a milky drink and just go to bed with him and relax.

Things will come right in time. You have no reason to worry yet. Though I know you probably will

It took DD about 20 days to regain her birthweight and then she went on to be on the 99th percentile very quickly (from the 50th).

BTW your breasts feeling soft is not indication of how much milk is in them. My boobs feel soft most of the time but can produce 24oz between them several times a day!

Thanks ladies... Just feeling really emotional tonight. Had a very worrying pregnancy with dear son and thought (unrealistically!) that all my worrying will disappear when he comes safely into the world but no... Now, the worrying has just increased about twentyfold but with sleepless nights thrown in too. I need all the support I can get! Thank you for your replies!

suggestions:

-get people to bring you food so you can eat with DS latched (put a muslin over him so you don't spill on him!)
-as DS grows a bit and you gain confidence, you could learn to walk around whilst breastfeeding (I mean walk to fridge!!)
-to improve supply, feed DS lots. at this stage, it really is most of the time, but as he gets bigger, he will have longer gaps between feeds
-do not worry - DS probably did a load of wee prior to being weighed and this made him lighter
-it is normal for newborns to feed like this

!
sorry you're having a rough time but it sounds like you're worrying unnecessarily and you're actually doing fine

1. what you eat is unlikely to make a difference to your supply. As long as you're not hungry/thirsty you should be fine

1. sounds like your baby is building up the supply - what some people call a 'growth spurt' - they feed more frequently for a couple of days to increase the milk supply and it usually passes after that. Best thing to do is just go to bed with your baby and wait... It can come as a shock if you're not expecting this but have a look at the Kellymom website www.kellymom.com for lots of info on how BF works and what to expect

1. Dunno what those weights are in lbs but if your baby has more than matched their birthweight by now and is pooing and weeing OK then you shouldn't worry I think. BF babies sometimes don't poo often when the supply has settled down but if there's a poo every day or couple of days, it should be fine. And a number of wet nappies every day (can't remember how many recommended but sure you can google it)

1. Soft breasts are no indication of supply either necessarily - you probably need to go by whether your baby is seeming satisfied and that's difficult to tell at the moment. Give it 24 hours and if he still seems unsatisfied then maybe ask for some help from one of the BF helplines. Or even before then if you're worried but TBH what you're describing sounds normal to me.

Tiktok is resident BF expert on this board so you could ask for her advice if you're still worried.

More tips:

(1) Put a tissue in his nappy -sometimes you can't tell if they are wet but a tissue gives it away
(2) If you are knackered things always seem worse than they probably are.
(3) Get your partner to cup up your dinner - I fed DD constantly for ages and would just sit there with a fork in one hand and DD on my boob with the other arm, it's not so frustrating if you can get on with things and eat.
(4) Get a sling and pop him in, so he can nurse while you totter around.

If you're worried the response is to feed more often if possible, whenever he shows the remotest interest, with lots of skin to skin contact. Don't worry about how full ro empty you feel , it tells you very little unless it has been a longer gap between feeds.

Also the difference between 9th and 2nd at this stage is not that great so if he'd pooed beforehand today it may have seemed more marked than actually it was. Are they the same digital scales each time ?

Your diet won't make a huge diffenrce in terms of milk but may affect how you deal with tiredness and feel. Even a sandwich, bowl of cereal, pasta, banana can help your energy levels.

There's a breastfeeding workshop / support group locally that I am going to tomorrow with DH. The HV highly recommended it as apparently the lady who runs it is the local BF expert. I think my latch is okay as it does not hurt at all to feed from the right side but there is a slight pain/discomfort from the left side. Thanks everyone for their suggestions, I will keep coming back to this thread for the emotional support!

Well, on the day he was born, he was weighed naked but his weight at 5 and 10 days was done by the midwife with his nappy and clothes on. Today, the weighing was done while he was completely naked and I did wonder if that would make a difference...

yes it would , especially if nappy was wet.

huge difference esp when you are focussing on mere grams of weight. Also being weighed on the same scales is important if low weight gain is suspected. But that said to me your baby sounds normal!!!! Keep popping him on those boobs and wait and watch...

What was the midwife thinking off - all neonatal weigh ins must be naked.

This will pass

Thanks, thanks, thanks... You have no idea what a difference all your responses have made. I just feel like such a bad mother! And I get all emotional looking at this little helpless bundle that is all dependent on me. Gosh, the tears are going to come again...

Ah that's really sweet. You know we all start out feeling totally incompetent and then just when we get the hang of it, we have another one and have to start all over again .

Such is the joy of parenthood. You sound like you are doing brilliantly. The first six weeks are truly hell-like and that's normal. BTW at six weeks the crying gets to the loudest it will ever do, and then your child starts to learn other ways to communicate (like smiling) and you abandon plans to put them on ebay immediately!

My cousin told me that things get grizzly at 3-4 weeks and it gets much better after that and I am like 'What, another 15 days to go better?' and now you tell me 6 WEEKS!!!! Help!

lol angel! I've had three breastfed babies. Yes the first weeks are hard work but if you get through if the rewards are enormous. Trust in your body, your instincts and ability to cope... Well done! And tell yourself everyday that you are doing the hardest job in the world and doing it well;)

Well technically it's four weeks because he's already two weeks!

But look at it like this, you have got through the first hurdle and yes there will be others ahead but you've done marvellously so far. You just need to keep going a day at a time and yes you will be knackered and frustrated and worried and that's normal because you are now a parents and one day you'll get to the point where he sleeps for four hours straight and you are terrified he's died between breaths (we have all been there).

Sometimes all you can do is breath in and out and take it a bit at a time

angel....no midwife should be weighing a baby clothed, for a start. That's just poor practice The only weights you can rely on are the birthweight and today's, and this shows your baby is back to birthweight and beyond, which is fine. The pooing and peeing supports this

Why are you worried? The clinic have not worried you and in fact they have said all is well!

A frequently feeding baby means softer breasts. This is entirely consistent with a good supply. He is new - he wants to be close to you and to feed lots. Normal Co-sleeping makes life easier for you - no need to 'put him back to bed' if he's already there! Check out guidance on safe co-sleeping if you need to.

Nothing you have said makes me think there is anything remotely wrong with him, or your feeding.

You do not need to eat and drink loads to breastfeed perfectly well - do this as part of your own self-care, but it will have no impact on your bf - so there's two fewer things to worry about

Sounds like you are doing fine. check out co-sleeping, it's a sanity saver imo, plug in and doze

you don't need planet sized boobs, remember your milk ducts go all the way to your armpit, they are not in the breast itself, and so there is probably plenty there.

Gte dh to make you pasta bakes, and other stuff that can be made by a bloke, and eaten single handedly. and put something over ds, I have several sleepsuits with baked bean sauce stains!

hi..i really feel for you. i felt so vulnerable for the first three months..here are two things i did

1. stop getting your baby weighed. my ds was weighed twice until i..

1. learnt to trust my instinct..you know if your baby is ok and if you don't do now then you will soon. your instinct is a muscle..it gets stronger the more you use it.

drink water..it made a difference to me.
also i co slept (and still am at one year...so so much easier.)

i felt like i was in shock for about 5 months.
remember your child thinks you ROCK . you are doing an incredible incredible thing..look ahead to the moment when you can look at your beautiful smiling gorgeous baby and think 'i did all that...my body fed him to this point with no help..AMAZING

then you will reach the point where you think...oh lord this boy is SOOO heavy..and your wrists hurt all day and you have HUGE muscles on both arms and you have your boy...who is fine and healthy.

you know your son better than any health visitor.

huge luck and love (oh and give your DH a big hug...they get very lost and scared..he probably feels totally helpless and cannot bear seeing you suffer...keep telling him you could not do it without him...it really helped my DP in desperate hours.

I know that TikTok has said that our diet does not make any difference, but I really felt heaps better when I started making myself smoothies.
Banana milk being the best. So probably just the bananas that were making the difference.
I made it with half a pint of milk, one banana and a crushed yeast tablet. I am pretty sure those were the amounts, add more milk if it is really thick.

I just felt so much better after that and I know a friend who did not eat well struggled. My HV also suggested making cheese crackers in advance. Wrapping them in cling film, and that way I could grab something on the run.
I was V bad (always have been) for, getting breakfast and skipping lunch. So the crackers trick was a good one.
So is eating one handed whilst feeding. I used to get the whole couch to myself, when baby swapped to the other boob, the food swapped to the other side.

I will defo be trying the sling trick for baby 2 (I am thinking a ring sling would be best so baby can be kept up high?), so that I can feed on the move. And co sleeping.

Lots of good advice been given already, just wanted to share my lovely banana smoothie recipe and congratulate you on doing a great job

I wish i'd found this site when my little one was first born!! I was soooo tired i thought i was doing everything wrong! When i discovered that my already premuture baby had lost a bit of weight at around 5 weeks old i gave up on the breast feeding and gave her bottles. Looking back she was probably going through a growth spurt, as she was feeding about every 2 hours and i couldn't cope! Things do get better... i wish i could have seen that and stuck through it... it doesn't last long when you look back!! x

Hi Angel,

You sound like you are doing really well. Its a tough time when you are adjusting to the new reality of being a mum, and after a tough pregnancy, your anxiety levels are bound to be higher.

Cosleeping and a sling (I loved my ring sling) help the baby be more settled as they know where you are all the time, and the sound of your heart soothes them.

You don't need to eat and drink loads to bf, but it is good to eat a healthy diet. On the days he was working in the early weeks, Dh would make me up some sports bottles and flasks of drinks and leave me snacks and meals in the fridge so that I could grab and go. We also took it in turns to eat our dinner so that you got a hot meal every other day (he did all the cooking).

It does get better, and very quickly.

Have you got out to any baby groups yet ? I needed to get out of the house everyday else I went a bit stir crazy.