Help needed desperately for friend stuck in mat ward...

[AttillaTheHan]

My friend had her ds on friday by C-section. She has started breastfeeding but he seems to want to feed constantly and she is completely knackered. The midwifes have offered to care for him overnight for her but she is concerned about him being offered a bottle and him getting confused. I think her milk is about to come in and she is feeling very miserable and desperate - advice to pass on please...

Feeding all the time in the early days is normal, esp the day before your milk comes in - he's stimulating her supply. Can she tuck him in bed with her at night? I wouldn't like to be separated from my baby at night but I didn;t have a CS, so the sit may be different.

can she put up the side of the bed, feed lying down and sleep? get midwives to keep an eye on them. when is she coming home, today?

I think she's in for at least a few more nights. I will reassure her about it being normal. I guess its the fatal combination of feeling knackered, full of raging hormones and meaning well midwives offering a short term solution.

feeding constantly is normal at this stage, it helps bring on milk. i had cs + my milk came in day 2 or 3 iirc. if she wants to bf overnight is too long to be away from the baby at this point - she is better off trying to sleep in bursts when the baby does - visitors could help with baby for hour or 2 while she has a kip.

it is possible to bf after a cs loads do! tell her not to be shy about ringing the buzzer for help - if mw/nurses aren't there to help what the heck are they there for!

hth good luck + congratulations

Congrats to her. This sounds same as my first, and I was also completely knackered after being drugged up from CS and DD wanting to feed constantly (second night in particular). It's pretty miserable being in hospital, I think. Maybe when she gets an idea of when she's going home she will feel better? Has she got lots of support at home? If so I'd get myself home and in a comfy bed asap!
In terms of them offering a bottle, I had same fears and initially wouldn't let DD out of my sight, but I checked with the MW that they wouldn't give a bottle and they assured me they wouldn't and that they'd wake me up if she needed feeding. I suppose it depends on the reputation of the hospital, you do hear about formula being given without consent (well, I only heard about it on MN) but I don't know if it is all that common? She could maybe do a sign to put on the crib? I was thinking of doing that for my upcoming birth...

deffo second putting up bedguards + feeding lying down with mw keeping an eye on them rom time to time

I didn't have c section but was quite ill after having ds and he too wanted to feed all the time. The midwifes did take him to the nursery one night to give me a break but they didn't offer him a bottle and just said that they would bring him back for a feed if he didn't settle. He did settle and I managed 6 blissfull hours sleep!

I'm sure if your friend makes it clear that she doesn't want her baby to have bottles the midwives will respect this.

If she is that desparate for a break, then a bit of formula in a cup, not a bottle might give her a break, but it is not guaranteed. I was in 2 nights, ds was given formula top ups ( 60ml each night) (for a different reason, but long story so won't go into here). He was cup fed by a mw. However it didn't give me much of a break. I can say that despite the top ups, ds is now exclusively bf now.
I didn't have a c-section, but was tired because I found it nearly impossible to sleep due to noisy and busy ward. It did get better once I returned home. I also strongly recommend feeding lying down, I did that and it really helped - if her dp or family member could help baby latch on while she is asleep they would be doing her a huge favour - my dh did that for me. Again, she needs to sleep when baby sleeps.
Congrats to your friend, and you sound wonderful to support her

midwives gave my ds a bottle when i couldn't get him latched on in similar circs

I had similar experience with my first baby in hospital - hence why I'm asking for advice for my friend now.
With our first children we both struggled with bfeeding and she wants the best start possible for this child. Thanks for all advice.

Midwives may settle baby for a bit longer without actually giving a bottle. Many a night I have cuddled in a baby to allow a mum a bit of sleep - baby should not need to be latched on constantly - sometimes they just need someone to cuddle them. Midwife should ensure baby is latched on properly when feeding because that may be contributing to the problem of baby wanting to feed constantly.

If he is on properly and feeding well then your friend should take up offer of the midwife and just be clear she doesn't want him to have a bottle.

All the noise in the hospital adds to the misery - has she got some earplugs and an eye mask? Then she can try to blot some of it out either at night (and she'll still hear her baby, I'm pretty sure of that - if she's worried, she could wear one and lean her other ear against the pillow), or in the day, if someone takes the baby to the day room for an hour, it will give her a better chance of rest - also a 'do not disturb' sign on her door/curtain. Looking back, all the pestering by Bounty people, photographers etc added to the hassle.

Agree with cup feeding as a possible compromise - the midwives at the hospital where I had ds were careful not to offer a bottle while I was still struggling to get him to latch on at all.

What I would do personally is take the midwives offer to help at night so long as they cup feed. She has had major surgery and needs a little rest and this is part of the reality for her as well as breastfeeding. If she has a night or two off while in hospital it may give her the energy to cope with the constant feeding in the day to get BFing properly started. And once home there will be no further night help so a couple of nights after major surgery is not a bad idea if you ask me!