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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

in reality how hard is it to bf especially with other children around

18 replies

disneystar · 21/02/2008 07:56

im expecting my one on july and would love to bf this one if possible i have read that you have to persevere its harder than you think but bearing in mind i read this in a book and would love some advise on women that have actually managed it well!!!! my youngest will be 4 then 7, and 8, im sure they will find it strange im the only female in the house how shall i prepare them for this natural feeding process any ideas mums?
also how long is the reccomended time for bf is it harder to stop them wanting the breast as surely its a comfort thing to.

OP posts:

princessmel · 21/02/2008 08:18

I have never had any problems feeding in front of children. Sometimes they come up for a look. Thats great though as they will see how it works and become familiar with it.
Maybe when you are talking to them before the baby is born, about things like 'Ooh you'll be great helpers for mummy when the baby comes. You can help with bath time , getting her/him dressed' etc. Then just chat about how it will drink mummys milk and you will feed it. Talk about it casually to them. They won't think anything of it I'm sure. Some books like the usbourne ones have pictures (cartoon drawing) of the baby being bf by the mummy.

princessmel · 21/02/2008 08:21

I know there are loads of people on here who are very knowledgeable about BF. Much more than me. I'm preety sure the advice is to exclusivly breast feed for 6 months and then according to the World Health Organisation up to 2 years is best for their health. I fed dd till she stopped herself at 2.5yrs. Just before xmas actually.

dal21 · 21/02/2008 08:48

disneystar - the baby catalogue has some lovely illustrations of breastfeeding a baby. maybe buy that and show the pics among storytelling to your dc's.

also not sure if you bfed your previous bubs - but if you did, do you have any pictures to show them so they know you did it for them and thats what you do for babies.

do you have any friends who have bubs and are bfeeding? if so - could you have them come round and feed in front of your DC's?

I think your DC's are a great age and so long as they understand that it doesnt hurt mummy (which is what a friends child got teary about) - am sure they will be fine. they can even fetch you your water for when you get thirsty.

Original poster

disneystar · 22/02/2008 07:48

thank s for the advise no i wanted to bf my last baby but he wasnt puttin on weight and i feel i got a bit pushed by the health visitor to top him up by formula my dh had only 2 days of with us when he was born and i was very down after the birth im much more confident in myself this time so if it happens again i want to be prepared to tackle the hv and do it my my the books sound a good idea to prepare the idea also as im having lots of questions on where does the baby come out

OP posts:

Miaou · 22/02/2008 08:14

disneystar, there is a book called "Mummy laid an egg!" by Babette Cole - I've not seen it myself but it has been highly recommended (on here) for big brothers and sisters

Firstly, a big congratulations to you on your pg and well done for going for breastfeeding! Can you sound out what support you have around you before the baby comes? Is your dh supportive, do you have a mum who will help etc? The fact that your older three will be at achool will give you time to focus on the baby for a good part of the day, plus as has been mentioned they are old enough to help and to understand that you need a bit of space at times!

The fact that you started bfing your third shows that you can do it, so you have a knowledge of latching on etc (though of course every baby is different!). Enlist the help of your midwife, she will be around for the first week after the baby is born, feed in front of her each time and get her to check your latch etc. If you have the same hv as last time, then avoid her - topping up is really bad advice under any circumstances - and if you have any questions ask on here!

EffiePerine · 22/02/2008 08:32

Also, the furst 6 weeks or so are the hardest - I felt like giving up loads in those first weeks, but then it got sooo much easier (and am still bfing DS at 17 mo)

Good luck

EffiePerine · 22/02/2008 08:33

and just concentrate on feeding your baby in those early weeks - get help for everything else - that's your most important job.

OneHandedTypist · 22/02/2008 10:07

Disney*, My DC are 8, 6 & almost 4, plus I have a week old bfd baby.
The feeding hasnt weirded any of them out, not even the boys. We did talk about how & what the baby would eat b4 he was born. Also that mammals r animals with fur that feed their babies milk from their own bodies. They have seen me nuddy in the bath, too, so no excitement there, anyway.
Not sure what Babette Cole book would offer, it doesnt really explain mammal biology & infant feeding.
As for how long u feed 4.... so what if it seems like comfort feeding? Since when is it a bad thing 2 comfort a baby or child? Keep going as long as u want.

Sometimes the big kids have to wait for me tofinish feeding b4 I can help them with something, they have been pretty tolerant of that, so far. It's more demanding that newest tyke is the sort who never wants to be put down, but luckily my eldest boy likes cuddling the baby for me instead.

OneHandedTypist · 22/02/2008 10:09

Oh sorry (re Babette Cole book), just saw the bit where you said you found it awkward to explain where baby came out. Luckily I have a dd, so the boys can see she's different without me having to explain, lol. So asking where baby comes out, I don't find that so difficult to explain. It's explaining how daddy's seed got planted there that I really don't want to broach!

KristinaM · 22/02/2008 10:17

I've been BF DS2 for the last 2 years. I have an 8yo and a 3yo as well and they just take it for granted. To them its just part of the daily routine, like meals or baths or changing nappies. They dont bat an eyelid!

It was harder when the baby was born as his brother was only 18 montsh old. But now he is older its fine and I'm sure yours will be great as it s good age gap. i guess they are all at nursery or school?

TBH I expect that your sons will find the baby a bit boring at the beginning. So dont expect them to take much of an interest once the novelty wears off!lets face it, newborns are only fascinating to their parents

Original poster

disneystar · 25/02/2008 16:16

well miaow as to the support i have here answer is none really my dh is great but he works away from home and is home weekends only i dont have any parents and i guess im a soliary person i moved to a new area last year and dont know a soul cept to say hi to the neighbour my dh is going to take 2 weeks of when the baby arrives so at least thats something also baby due at the start of the summer holidays so no rest there but also no early school runs either. The book sounds a good idea as we can have alook together and tackle the questions easier
thanks for all your replies its been good advise

OP posts:

Buckets · 25/02/2008 16:29

I'm expecting no 3 this summer and hoping to BF this time (gave up after a week with #1, didn't even try with #2.) I've kind of got my head around it better this time - the key is to ask for help - something I didn't do before. Also, ask for help from actual experts, not just MWs and HVs who will more than likely conflict with each other and confuse you or so I've heard.

Would really recommend joining the NCT - you could do a 'refresher' antenatal class and meet other mums, they have BF counsellors/helpline and post-natal teagroups where you can make new friends too. My local one even has a 'Public Breastfeeding' group where you can go and practise in public and get advice from others too.

thefabfour · 25/02/2008 19:58

Disneystar. It definately can be done. I'm still bf my 10mo old lo (number 4) and at one point I had 4 under 5ys (for about 2 weeks!!)

As EffiePerine says, the first 6 weeks were the hardest. It is difficult endlessly feeding when you have other lo's around and you do have to be good at distracting them. But, it dosen't last forever- I think i noticed a real difference around 3 months- and by 6 months he was so efficent at feeding that it really wasn't any longer than a ff.

Monkeybird · 25/02/2008 20:04

One thing worth remembering is that it's pretty hard work sterlising bottles and making them up when you've other kids around too; I find Bf much easier and quicker (once it's working well, no advance planning is required for food!)

Original poster

disneystar · 25/02/2008 21:26

exactly monkeybird what can be more natural in the end i guess like all things perseverance is a must but i have very good willpower im going to try my best

OP posts:

Martha200 · 27/02/2008 20:42

My eldest is nearly 5, and I gave no thought to preparing him for bf to be honest. He was ff for various reasons but I was determined to succeed this time around... he found it fascinating initially and related me to being a cow... DH told him off for being rude, but I can't blame him for thinking that!

DS2 IS 6 WKS today and at times I have felt bad that I did seem to spend soooo much time with ds2 attached to me and maybe not enough time with ds1, but I quickly learnt that actually ds1 was chilled about it, he knew his brother was hungry and needed feeding so it was ok.. today I managed feeding and reading a book or 5 to ds1,

Funny thing is, I use a dummy sparingly and DS2 has nicknamed it the booby sucker

sweetkitty · 27/02/2008 20:51

hi disneystar missing you off the July thread. My 3 1/2 year old already knows the baby will get milk from Mummy's boobies, we look at a picture of the baby every week (I get weekly e-mail updates) about the size etc (she says it's all gooey this week) theres some pictures of the baby feeding as well. Don't think she can remember me feeding DD2. She knows some babies get milk from bottles some from their Mummy's boobies and she seems fine with that.

Don't worry too much about getting BFing support theres loads on MN and theres a fair few of us on the July thread that will hold your hand virtually and we will all be going through those first few weeks together.

As someone else has said the recommendations are 6 months exclusive and at least 2 years. But it's such a personal decision you stop when you feel ready to stop, at the start it's best not to have a goal such as a year but take it one day at a time, then a week at at time. If you want to stop at say 6 weeks then it's the right time for you.

Bouncingturtle · 27/02/2008 21:06

I bf in front of my dss (nearly 7), and my 2 nieces (14mo and 4.5yo). They were curious at first and now they take it in their stride.
My elder niece did ask me lots of questions. When she first saw me she was very puzzled and kept asking me why I didn't feed him from a bottle (She and her sister both bottle fed from birth due to my dsil being unable to bf - on very powerful meds which will contaminate her milk). But I think she got it, just said that I can make milk in my boobies.

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