Needing Help with weaning DD...who is over 1 year and still BF ALL NIGHT LONG

[NENEandLEXI]

Hi Everyone!

Just to start, thank you to all reading and those who have some wisdom to share. I appreciate any and all ideas forwarded to me, because I know how busy we can all be.

My dd is up hour after hour bf, and it seemed to have started about over a week ago. Let me start at the beginning. Ok, tbh i allowed dd to sleep with her father and i because it was easier on everyone. She turned one in november and she is killing us in that bed. she sleeps diagnolly and nurses thru out the night.
i started to nurse her to sleep and transport her to her crib, and it worked out great. not perfect, she would wake up maybe every 3 or 4 hours, and i would nurse her and she would go out...but it just seems she cannot stay asleep. She is not really nursing during the day unless to take a nap.

i am so tired. anyone else going thru some of the same?

Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution?

this may also be useful

personally we were in similar situation on and off for 3 years, with ds sleeping with us and bfing, but getting a bigger bed and eventually ANOTHER bed next to our bed for him to sleep on, did help

it is hard to co-sleep when they get older unless you have more room, IME

There was a time (a short time) when DD2 slept through. Over Christmas she was ill, wasn't eating much and was up several times a night, wanting feeding.

Last night was a nightmare. Not only was she waking often, but she was screaming and quite roughly demanding to be fed. There was no way that water or a cuddle was going to do it.

I'd have a go at leaving her on her own, but she shares with DD1 so I really need to keep her reasonably quiet. DP works nights so he's not there to go to her instead of me.

DD2 is 16 months btw.

Solidarity but no advice I'm afraid.

DS2 was co-sleeping with us until quite recently. However, over the last few months, we've gone from bfing to dozy, then putting down in cot (usually cries for about 10 seconds, was longer at the start, but not horrific), but bringing into bed at the first waking, to him sleeping the whole night in his cot. He still wakes up 2/3 times for a bf, but gets put back in the cot after feed. So this way I can be out of my bed for about 90 minutes during the night, whereas before he fed almost continually during the night, with me half sleeping the whole night. Surprisingly I feel better on being out of my bed for 90 minutes per night, as at least I get some real sleep.

Where are you at now - has she regressed from the 3-4 hr wakings to continual feeding at night? IME if they're ill, it puts you back to step 1 with their sleeping patterns, and you need to redo whatever sleep training you did over again. It's never so painful second time around though. Just wait until you're 100% sure she's well, and start again (or you'll feel guilty, and only half carry out anything you want to do).

HTH - again more solidarity than anything!

i have been telling myself that there has to be a lot of women out there dealing with the same or similar tribulations, but I guess sometimes you really need to hear it from a person.

I guess it could be her teething that has her up at night in a panic for booby. its jsut a little draining, and i never imagined i would still be bf at 14 months. she has not really lost any intrest and i think she thinks they're hers for the taking.

and i just dont think letting her cry it out will work either...she has a very strong will, a very loud voice, and we have very thin walls. dont think our neighbors would appreciate it much.

Luckily for me I have a friend with a similar problem, so we often share our tales of woe. It does help. Have you tried a dose of calpol before bed to see if she's more settled? I knew I'd still be feeding DS2 at this age (now 18m) as I fed DS1 until 22m (but decided to stop then as I was 22w pg with DS2), but I didn't think I'd be feeding this often! DS1 was down to 2/3 feeds per day at this age. I'm still demand feeding with DS2 and have no idea if/when/how this will ever end!

thanks for the advice. everyone i speak to is shocked to know i am still nursing my 14 month old. i believe many think i might be a pervert. i just cant deny her when i know how comforted she is by it. and your ritual is exaclty how i had begun to transition her to the crib. we were down to the last phase and out of nowhere we got thrown back to square one. hopefully it is her teething and will try to give her something to take to edge off.

Try not to think all is lost - sounds as if teething / illness might have knocked her out of the balance you'd struck. But it will come back. My DD was great for a month or so, sleeping right through 4 or 5 nights a week, then at 15 months started teething badly and was up 3 or 4 times a night till we gave up and had her sleep with us even though she wriggles and squirms and is not a restful bed companion! Once the teeth were through, about a month later, she'd go down in her cot after her last feed, only to wake about 2 or 3am. At first I'd feed her, then DH decided it was time for real sleep again and took it on himself to go and cuddle/comfort her back to sleep. Took a few days but then all was fine: sometimes she'd call out but usually a quiet "sleep time now, night night" would do the trick. Then more illness over Christmas and only snuggling in bed with us would do. She slept through on her own 2 of the last 3 nights and is now accepting cuddles not milk even if she does come into bed with us. Very long winded way of saying it'll go through cycles but they get easier to handle, especially if you know they'll move on before long!