DS doesn't BF for comfort.

[DaisyDairy]

Not sure if I've just got my rose tinted glasses on...

When I had DD (8 years ago) breastfeeding seemed to be the magic answer to any sort of upset. If no other problem could be identified, then she could usually be comforted by a feed (even if it was just comfort suckling, rather than a big feed).

DS is now 6 weeks and totally different. If he is hungry then he feeds fine (so no issues with latch / tongue etc). When he's grumpy and I can't find a reason why then he has no interest in breastfeeding and just cries, won't latch or even comfort suckle.

I know it's not the end of the world, maybe even a good thing that food doesn't equal comfort (🤷‍♀️), but I feel like my magic 'stop crying' trick just doesn't work with this baby. Anyone else had similar?

He doesn't feed to sleep either, which I think is my biggest frustration, so when he's overtired he's hard to soothe.

My ds was exactly the same. He only ever fed for 5 mins max and was full (an efficient feeder+a good supply and fast let down) so he was never going to fall asleep on the boob or feed just for comfort. I just had to find other ways to comfort him, he likes a good cuddle up on my shoulder (still does now at 12 months)

Yes! Ds1 fed all the time for everything. Ds2 feeds when he's hungry and stops when he's full and that's it. It was a real shock! I've found rocking is great for ds2 and actually invested in a rocking chair when he was a couple of months old to help with this (and save my back!). He's 9mo now and usually just has a cuddle or a rock in the chair/buggy (if we are out) to settle him. He is a much better sleeper too - I think it's because he doesn't have the feed to sleep association. He just rolls onto his front and sucks his hand til he nods off (which he's done ever since he learned to roll).

That's reassuring, thank you both. He does have very short feeds but is growing well and has plenty of wet & dirty nappies so must be getting enough milk.

He's been grouchy in the heat today, and has spent most of the day on my shoulder (his favourite cuddle spot).

My eldest was like that - described as a “functional feeder” by a midwife friend!
She was tongue tied & only fed if hungry/thirsty. She weaned the moment my milk stopped at 4 months pregnant- she was 2 & half. She was/is still at 12 a horrible sleeper & feeding to sleep was a brief phase

Both my others fed for comfort & it was like having a magic button to switch off the hurt/upset BUT my experience was that it meant they hit 4ish with an explosive bump whilst my eldest had worked out most her demons earlier.

DS didn't in the early days either due to my rather vigorous letdowns. Lots of cuddles and time in the carrier, but yes, when weather like this, not so good. He only got the hang of comfort feeding (i.e. longer than 10 minutes) when he got to about 9 mo for going to sleep. Then after 12 mo, it didn't work at bedtime, only overnight

We never had the hours glued to the sofa for clusterfeeding etc. And comfort sucking on boobs was not a thing in the 4th trimester as they kept spraying him. We had some success with a dummy but then he more or less just stopped with those too by 6 mo