Friend in hospital having probs breastfeeding

[Annie75]

My friend who gave birth last week is having to stay in hospital because her baby has a lung infection. She's been trying to breastfeed and is finding it hard to get him feeding for long as it's painful. She sounds v fed up - particularly as the midwives are making her feel responsible for poor latching and feeding but she's really trying her hardest at a stressy time and really wants to breastfeed. They've hinted that she won't be allowed to leave until he starts feeding better even once he is recovered from his lurgy. Does anyone have any suggestions for her? My instinct is that she's finding a hospital environment uncomfortable and I'm wondering if once she leaves, she'll be more relaxed.

The first week or so is uncomfortable and painful, it gets easier, midwives are being very unhelpful and should be ignored, she's doing a great job in a tough environment and the more they critise the harder it will be. Send her our love.

She needs to get some help that isn't a stressed out midwife. Perhaps she could contact her local La Leche League counsellor - they will have a chat to her.

Painful breastfeeding is generally about the latching but it's not helpful to berate mum when it's going wrong.

Babies who aren't well often find it hard to breastfeed anyway, let alone the fact that newborns tend to fall asleep during feeds - so she is not alone in having problems.

If she's finding her nipples are sore, Kamillosan can help a lot.

She's doing well to keep trying, tell her that she's doing really well and that once both she and her DS get the hang of it they'll both enjoy the experience!

Is she getting plenty of skin-to-skin with the baby? Even lying down together, in close contact, relaxed, can help with feeding. Draw the cubicle curtains, shut out the scarey hospital world, and just enjoy the boy.

There's certainly no 'fault' or 'blame'! Hospital is not, unfortunately, the best place to get the hang of brestfeeding.

ditto prettycandles!

Draw curtains round bed, top off, all baby's clothes off apart from nappy and do lots of skin to skin. Ban visitors with whom friend cannot continue this arrangement. Let the baby feed as long and as often as he likes. Both mum and baby need to get used to each other.

It isn't her fault - she needs an experienced MW / BFC to show her if she is having problems. Lots of ear waggling when feeding is good. Lots of wet and dirty nappies also good.

The more he is put to the breast, the more he will feed and the quicker her milk will come in. They can't keep her in hospital against her will. That said, if she is there and getting decent support and advice with the feeding it is good to have someone on hand who can see you and help you. Hope baby gets better soon and she starts to enjoy the feeding

Best wishes

Thanks for those and please keep the advice coming - I might see if I can forward this thread to her mobile as she feels cut off in hospital with no internet access. They're telling her that the baby is getting enough milk, but as long as it's feeding for a bit, is that okay? He was only born last Weds...

Sorry, just seen that hospital is not giving decent support . What a pity some hospitals are so pants at helping BF mothers. I was hugely lucky in large LOndon teaching hospital with DD1 with a roving BFC, but left to my own devices with DD2 in different hospital. I thought it was because I was already an exp mum, but maybe not.....

Thanks, Dolly though - I didn't think about increasing the amount she tries to feed or skin to skin. Oh, and i meant that they're telling her the baby isn't getting enough milk (missed out a word!).

Do they have a breastfeeding counsellor working in the hospital? I'm sure you're right about the hospital environment but I also know how hard it is once you're stressed out to escape.

where abouts is she in the country? i would agree with elkie - if she can get good support it will make all the difference. thoughts are with her. it will get easier. i havemet a bf specialist in northern ireland - where they are letting women go home after 4 days even if a baby is not feeding - on the basis that alot of mums get on better when they are in their own home.

When I had dd she wasn't very good at the whole bf-ing thing and I was determined!!!

The midwives weren't the best I felt they could have been but all I can say is keep trying.

Once we got home it was a whole different matter - no problems, latched on and was truly a wonderful baby.

Hope your friend is OK.

Thanks again. I read these replies out over the phone to her and I think just knowing you're not alone in this position is massively helpful

Midwives are not as experienced in BFing as they could be (not their fault just the naff system!). Definately call the helplines and keep this thread bumped for some others with better knowledge than me.

I chose to stay in for a night and regretted it as the noise and lights really upset DD. As soon as we got home she was much better. They can hear from inside the womb and I am sure the familiar noises helped settle her. Send your friend my best wishes

Will come back and bump later!

I agree with previous posts- lots of skin to skin, get someone to show her how to bf lying down (absolutely best thing I ever learned in hospital) and just lay there with baby in bed. When my dd wasn't gaining weight we had a 'babymoon' at home- stripped her down and let her nurse laying down all day. Be wary of midwives who tell her to 'air out her nipples'- moist wound healing is the current advice and I was so happy when I discovered Kamillosan. Let us know how she gets on!

annie - how is she/ they getting on??