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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Bit weird but dd1 very upset over not bfing?

27 replies

agalch · 19/05/2007 19:23

Was so awful tonight before i gave her a shower before bed. I stopped bfing her when i was 7 months pg with dd2 who is 9 months.When she sees me bfing dd2 she sometimes asks if she can have a feed.Up till now i have made her laugh and said "not with those big teeth" etc.

But tonight she was knackered(had no nap today)and sobbed and said she needed a feed.She was pretty hysterical.I was almost on the verge of letting her cos she was sooo upset.

I suppose what i am asking is what would you have done?And how should i deal with it next time?

TIA X

OP posts:

colditz · 19/05/2007 19:35

Perhaps just let her? Se might realise it's not all it's cracked up to be and go off the idea - SWhe sees it makes your dd2 happy and wants it to work for her.

Spidermama · 19/05/2007 19:37

Yes I would let her. Mind you I fed all mine til they were around three. I also tandem fed a toddler and a baby and it was lovely. It really helped dd1 with the new arrival.

cylonbabe · 19/05/2007 19:38

do you want to tandem feed?
i cant really advise, as i would never have continued breastfeeding whilst pregnant for various reasons, one of which would be this exact situation and having to deal with it.
so im in fact compelty useles in advising you and have no idea whilst i am typing this.
well done for doing so well with breastfeeding her in the first place. how old is she now?

Original poster

agalch · 19/05/2007 19:43

Thanks

I fed ds2 till he was 3 so don't have a problem with her age at all. Can just imagine all the comments if people know i have fed her again. I know i should tell em to naff off but i have "friends" who think bfing is weird no matter the age

OP posts:

Original poster

agalch · 19/05/2007 19:44

She will be 3 in August. I wanted to tandem feed but have 2 ds's too and was knackered by the 7 month mark.

OP posts:

EvilSmellingBugger · 19/05/2007 19:47

I'm feeding 9mth DS2 but every now and again DS1 who's 2.3yrs comes up and says feed and opens his mouth as if to latch on and I stopped breast feeding him when he was 15weeks old!
I tell him no and that he's a big boy and that his little brother needs feeding from Mummy.
Makes me feel a little uncomfortable when DS1 does this. I'd feel different if I'd had feed him continuously.

MrsApron · 19/05/2007 19:48

i would have fed her. she might not manage it but she obviously sees the special hug with dd2.

Spidermama · 19/05/2007 19:50

Ignore the 'friends' with their distorted and unnatural views. According to La Leche League the average weaning age worldwide is between 2 and 4 years. That's the average.

Spidermama · 19/05/2007 19:52

Also you may find she just wants to know that you are totally there for her and she may just need it once or twice for reassurance. I seem to remember doing this with my ds2 when he was 3 and ds3 came along. I let him have the odd suck, but he stopped asking pretty quickly as he seemed satisfied I was still there for him and that in some ways he's still my baby.
Otherwise they can feel that the new baby has really usurped their position.

FrannyandZooey · 19/05/2007 19:54

Oh do let her try

don't tell anyone if you don't want them to know

MrsApron · 19/05/2007 19:54

MrsApron · 19/05/2007 19:56

non-standard parenting clique

Original poster

agalch · 19/05/2007 19:59

I feel so awful now that i didn't just go with my instinct and let her Felt natural to want her snuggled in like we used to.

Will let her if she wants to another time.Don't want her to feel pushed out.

Lol Franny,i wouldn't need to tell anyone,dd1 would tell everyone and their granny!! But you know what? If she does i will tell em to naff off!!

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 19/05/2007 20:21

Aw don't worry! It would throw anyone, I do understand

it is embarrassing sometimes feeding an older child I do agree

if I may borrow HC's superb phrase try adopting serene indifference

EvilSmellingBugger · 19/05/2007 20:23

(How was the bbq Franny?)

FrannyandZooey · 19/05/2007 20:23

She may not ask again you know if she has got the idea that it is 'wrong' to ask

you may want to tell her that you have thought it over and that it is fine for her to have some if she wants some. I get the impression it might mean a lot to her

FrannyandZooey · 19/05/2007 20:23

Ah! BBQ

will update on the BBQ thread

moondog · 19/05/2007 20:25

Yes let her.
My dd wanted the (very occasional) suck until she was about 5.
I let her.

belgo · 19/05/2007 20:30

agalch - let her bf. It reminds me of a couple of months ago when we were on holiday, when I was still bfing dd2. DD1 aged three woke up in the night crying for her bottle of milk, except we had run out of milk. She was distraught and sreaming, so out of desperation I offered to bf her (bearing in mind I had stopped bfing her two years before!). She curled up at my breast, opened her mouth, and just as she was about to latch on, turned to me and said: 'no mummy, that's for my baby sister'!

She then went back to sleep with a bottle of water.

SpawnChorus · 19/05/2007 20:56

I had a similar situation with DD. She stopped BFing at about 14 months (I was about 5 months pg with DS by that stage and my milk had dried up). Whe DS was born she asked on several occasions to have 'booby milk' and I was happy to let her try. She never actually sucked though. She'd either lean over and kiss my nipple or briefly place an open mouth over it. It was sweet and quite funny.

I know what you mean about what others might think. I didn't tell anyone (it never really came up in conversation).

Original poster

agalch · 19/05/2007 21:09

Thanks everyone

Dd2 actually doesn't feed during the day very often,it's mainly all night long(yaaawn) as we co-sleep.But dd2 has been teething and feeding through the day again so maybe dd1 does feel left out.

If she wakes for a wee tonight i will offer her boobie and tell her she's not too big now to have some.

Thanks again all

OP posts:

MrsApron · 19/05/2007 21:45

Moondog - did your dd feed after your ds had stopped then? Is she the eldest?

I can honestly see dd1 wanting to bf for longer then dd2 they have totally different bf relationships.

MrsApron · 19/05/2007 21:46

and Agalch - that sounds lovely I am sure she will love it.

moondog · 20/05/2007 10:00

Hmm,not really MA and it wasn't really sucking. If she saw me naked she might ask and have a half hearted go.I suspect she just wanted to check that she still had access if she really wanted it.

Remember her once sucking quite vigorously and getting a bit of milk. The look of bewilderment on her face and the way she then spat it out was hilarious!

MrsApron · 20/05/2007 10:05

brill moondog thanks for explaining.

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